Columns

By Ashlie Miller

Let us begin with a controversial statement – watermelon tastes best sprinkled with salt. I can already see the email notifications lighting up! I am a Southern gal raised in Southern ways. My earliest watermelon feasts occurred at my grandparents’ home on Sam Wilson Road in Charlotte. We would sit at a newspaper-covered picnic table adorned with dull knives and a salt shaker. Today, I still prefer a watermelon with salt. It enhances the flavor, whether it is already sweet or needs some help.

Any food connoisseur, from the home cook to the high-end chef to the passive foodie, could list many foods whose flavor is enhanced by a pinch of salt – bitter coffee or chocolate, sour grapefruit, even a salad. Although a common seasoning, it does extraordinary things. It both suppresses less-than-desirable or offensive flavors and enhances the lovely ones.

It is no wonder that Jesus refers to salt when He commands His followers to be the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13) or when Paul says to season our conversations with salt (Colossians 4:6).

Salt is helpful in many ways – gardening, cleaning, preserving, and offering sacrifices; it was even a commodity in ancient economies. As Christians, we can see many metaphors of how that relates to our walk in Christ among the people we encounter daily. However, as we finally officially enter summer and you likely will pick up a watermelon to enjoy, let us consider how we can add flavor to our conversations and relationships with others.

If salt suppresses things that are not desirable – like conflict – how can I diffuse such things in conversations? I could avoid partaking in a juicy piece of gossip under the guise of a prayer request. It may mean that I speak up for someone not around to defend themselves. It may also mean avoiding flattery – speaking kind things to someone’s face that I would not say about them to others – with the intention of personal gain.

If, like salt, we are to enhance the desirable flavors of things – how can I intentionally work towards edifying someone? I might send someone a note of encouragement on a job well done or a thank you for a kind gesture extended my way. I may see someone who is down or struggling through life and pray with them or speak life into their spirit. Sharing scripture is a great way to succeed in that.

Although, like salt, we may be merely common, we know that God chooses to use the simple to confound the wise (1 Corinthians 1:27). By observing something as humble as salt, we know that a little can go a long way in making a profound impact on the lives of others. We do not have to wonder about what profound things we can say. When we walk in the Word and pray to our Father in heaven, we can have confidence in the words He can use to suppress the bad and bring out the good.

What steps can I take today to be the right pinch of salt, balancing conversations to point upward toward Christ and eternal things and outward for the good and building up of others?

Tune in next week for more controversial statements like – pineapple on pizza is delicious! (I kid, I kid).

Ashlie Miller enjoys her salty watermelons on the back porch of her Concord home with her husband and 5 children. You can contact her on mrs.ashliemiller.com to let her know if you prefer your watermelon with or without salt.

By Ashlie Miller

While many meet Mother’s Day with joy and appreciation, Father’s Day often comes differently. There may be situations where the father is not physically or emotionally present in the home. Father’s Day has always been a little different for me because my father passed away when he and I were young. Due to the unique circumstances of his upbringing, I do not have a connection to his ancestors or close friends from his childhood. Because he died young, few adult friends can share memories with me.

For many years, I struggled in my grief process. Like many of my generation, I have few photos of my dad or me with him, nor do I have many material possessions that belonged to him. There are not many tangible mementos to prompt my recollections. As you can imagine, and maybe experience yourself, I yearn to have memories that keep him alive in my heart and mind. I am grateful for those who did know him and who share memories – any memories – with me so that I can envision who he was.

There are many studies regarding the antidote that gratitude can be for depression and anxiety. Remembering good things and expressing thankfulness for a person or a season in life can be a salve to soothe aching hearts. In the Bible, Paul often begins his letters with gratitude for the people he is writing to. He mentions remembering and giving thanks for them even when he is about to confront a problem. Gratitude helps. Psalm 112:6 talks of how the righteous will be remembered forever. Again, when we reflect on their memories, gratitude helps.

This Father’s Day, I am asking you to do something for yourself or someone else who may not have their father on this side of eternity and will approach this day with sadness. First, reminisce with gratitude that you had your father for as long as you did – the gift God gave you in giving Dad to you. Reflect on the good moments and even how you overcame the tough ones. Let the gratitude slowly melt away that sadness.

Secondly, ask others for their memories of your loved one. It can be cathartic, and you can often learn things that will encourage your heart about your loved one that you never knew. Through small stories, I have learned how sweet and kind my father was and how he was easy to be around.

Finally, if you know someone who has lost a father either recently or decades ago, would you consider sharing a favorite memory about that person with the loved one? It does not matter how small or trivial it is to you. That memory can add to the tapestry of who the person was to those around them. If the person helped direct you or guided you in a way others may not know, share that. Express your gratitude for the role – however small or profound – that they had in your life. Those impactful memories will impact their loved ones today.

These types of memorial days can be overwhelming to many people. We can seize the moment to allow thankfulness to do its work in us or help others along the way to grow through the lifelong process of grief. We can help make it a Happier Father’s Day.

Ashlie Miller is the daughter of the late James T. Hughes, who lived an all too brief but important life in North Carolina and served as a Marine.