By Ashlie Miller

Memorial Day holds a special place in the hearts of many. Usually, that entails things less memorable, like eating hotdogs or going to the lake. But, I can recall when I first learned that the day was a day for decorating graves – originally called Decoration Day. 

My sister-in-law would make annual treks to her home state to visit and decorate family graves. I always wondered about that. Then, several years ago, my brother and his family, along with my own, decided to journey to our father’s grave in Thomasville, NC, on Memorial Day.

Having never visited his grave since his death many years ago, I was not prepared for what visiting Thomasville would be like on Memorial Day in 2018. Boy, we were in for the most wonderful surprise, arriving just before the town’s annual parade to honor heroes and their families.

I realize now that this is not an uncommon occurrence in many towns. In fact, you can attend a parade Monday in Salisbury. Most likely, it will not draw the crowds that the Independence Day parades and events will, but is it any less significant? It is amazing what a smaller event on Memorial Day will do to set your mind and heart ablaze in memory and gratitude. 

After our bodies and hearts were thoroughly nourished after a light lunch and a fantastic parade, we made the short drive over to the Holly Hill Memorial Park Cemetery, where Daddy is buried alongside other family members who were also in the service. It is a bittersweet memory. Daddy did not die on the battlefield, but like many veterans of Vietnam, cancer came calling for him just after his time of service and beginning a young family.

I think of soldiers during this time and their acts of service. For many, however, service was not an option but a task put upon them. It was a sacrifice in many ways; they may be uncomfortable being reminded of their “service.” 

That’s why, when I see a veteran, I try to look him in the eye and say, “Thank you for your sacrifice” instead of “Thank you for your service.” Sometimes, I see the eyes of my father’s generation look back with gratitude for perhaps being understood and truly loved.

Like many today, I did not grow up fully recognizing Memorial Day for what it was, and I would confuse it with Veterans Day. Thankfully, slowing down, taking note, and observing others opened my eyes before my children grew up so we could share such things together. 

I encourage you to slow down this extended weekend. Look through Granddaddy’s medals or Grandma’s old photo books. Find out what those medals mean and where those pictures were taken. Visit findagrave.com and look for where relatives are buried. Maybe make an impromptu visit to the town for a parade or to the grave to pay respect. It will change you, and perhaps it will change all of us. 

Ashlie Miller and her family live in Concord, NC. You may contact her at mrs.ashliemiller@gmail.com.