By Lynna Clark
I say a lot of things I shouldn’t. Try not to judge. I’m working on it. The other day I heard words tumble out of my mouth that I don’t ever remember saying before. It surprised and saddened me.
Generally speaking, I’ve always prided myself in being able to make something out of nothing. I love getting creative using whatever I have on hand. David and I fetched a few boards, a grapevine wreath from the shed, ribbon leftover from a wedding and white spray paint from another project. I could tell my strength was going fast so I commandeered my beloved to saw the boards and fashion the creation I had in my head. For some strange reason he could not read my mind. Usually he has no problem. This time however he couldn’t catch the vision. I worked until I used up every ounce of energy I had then collapsed in a chair. Stupid mystery illness. Once again the pain took over and would not be silenced. That’s when I said it.
“I give up. I can’t do it.”
Slowly I made my way into the house and had a good cry. As the pity party picked up speed, I wondered why it was such a big deal to put an Easter wreath on the front door. I take great pride in showing off Jesus. But this seemed to be about something more. I guess everyone likes to feel strong and independent. A bit later David came inside holding the creation that had caused the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. The man does many things well. But creativity involving junk from around the house is not his strong suit. Apparently he had not only read my mind but had also figured out how to put the parts together without the proper plan or tools. It looked good.
As I rehearsed the situation later I realized something. I’ve dealt with pain for many years. It’s been a matter of pride to keep on keeping on no matter what. Then I heard the key word I’ve used in this little story.
Pride.
Pride in my own creativity, resourcefulness, strength, and ability has become a part of my life. When I look on the homemade addition to our front door it reminds me of the simple truth of Resurrection Sunday. Pride will get me nowhere. Until I realize that I can’t do it myself, the cross of Christ means nothing. His sacrifice gained Heaven for me when my hands were empty. “I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with Himself depends on faith.” –Phil. 3:9
When you think of standing before the Lord someday, what will you trust? He demands righteousness. In a world where DIY is king, may we learn to rest in the only One Who holds eternity in His hand. That is an area where no matter how capable we are, we cannot do it ourselves. For if we could, Christ truly died in vain.
