Ann Farabee

By Ann Farabee

If only I had —

My thoughts beyond those four words are a bit too personal to share.

We all have to deal with our “if only I had’s” in life, don’t we?

Seems odd, doesn’t it? Most everything in life can now be changed, but changing an “if only I had” can be very difficult to change — and sometimes impossible to change.

What if we could take one of those “if only I had’s” away?

What if it became repairable? What if the slate could be wiped clean?

What if?

Have you ever had someone you owe money to tell you to just forget about it and wipe the slate clean? I have.

Have you ever had someone that you hurt totally and completely choose to forgive you and wipe the slate clean? I have.

Have you ever watched a classroom full of students using a whiteboard and wipe the slate clean? I have.

My students loved using the whiteboards. Everyone had one to use, the had a marker of their color choice and everyone had an eraser.

I would put a math problem on the board and they would work it out on their whiteboard. That was a lot more fun than using paper and pencil. They loved being able to erase their mistakes. On the whiteboard, there was no way to detect that the incorrect answer had been written on their first. Their slate had been wiped clean.

One time, my family had rented a video to watch at home, and somehow it went missing. I searched and searched and then I forgot about it. (I am not liable for this years later, am I?) Much later, I went to the video store to rent another video. At the checkout, I was informed that I still had one checked out. I froze in fear. I saw a sign in the store that made me realize that not returning a video was a crime.

Apparently, the fear on my face was enough because after a bit of research by the store employees, I was told there was no additional charge and to forget about it.

That, my friends, was wiping the slate clean.

That fear, though short-lived, was real. For a second, I wondered if they would actually charge me all those late fees. It would have been a debt that was due that I could not afford to pay.

The slate was wiped clean. In spite of my crime — I mean my mistake — I was still accepted and considered to be a customer of the video store.

Sometimes, those white boards were still a little smudgy after our math lessons.

That was when everyone’s favorite part of using the whiteboard came — each student used a spray bottle and a cloth to wipe it clean.

No matter how many marks were on it, wiping it clean happened almost immediately.

I love when Jesus picks up that whiteboard in heaven and says, “The slate has been wiped clean.” I will save you, guide you, give you rest and give you the Holy Spirit. I will give you a home in heaven.

By Ann Farabee

• Cancer
• • Sick
• • Too busy
• • Hurt by criticism
• • An inmate
• • Love an inmate
• • Stressful job
• • Feel inadequate
• • Discouraged
• • Marriage problems
• • Lengthy to-do list
• • Grieving
• • Children are struggling
• • An addict
• • Love an addict
• • Can’t pay the bills
• • Depressed
• • Brokenhearted
• • Feel like a failure
• Real people, real problems, real pain. These are samples of actual prayer requests I have received recently.
• We are often faced with overwhelming circumstances. Sometimes, our best just doesn’t seem to be enough. We begin to wonder if the light at the end of the tunnel has been cut off. Someone asks, “Are you OK?” Our minds scream, “No, help me!” but our mouths form the words, “Yes, I’m fine.”
• The word overwhelmed is a bit redundant. “Over” can mean overwhelmed and “whelmed” can mean overwhelmed. In that case, could overwhelmed mean “doubly” overwhelmed? Yes, I think so, because that is how I have sometimes felt — buried, drowned, swamped, submerged, flooded, inundated x 2.
• Psalm 77:3 says, “I remembered God, and was troubled: I complained and my spirit was overwhelmed.”
• My God, I remember what You have done for me in the past. You sent grace, mercy and love. But now? I need You more than ever. I hate to complain, but I am troubled. Why do I feel that my life and circumstances are out of control? My spirit is overwhelmed.
• Psalm 61:2 says, “From the end of the earth will I cry to thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”
• Yes, Lord, I feel that I am in the most remote place on earth. So, I am crying out to You! My circumstance overwhelms me and overwhelms my heart.
• Lord, I see You — up there! You are the rock. The summit seems inaccessible from down here — it seems like an ocean between us and the pathway is so rocky and uneven. I’ll try, even though I am exhausted from my journey. Show me the way, Lord. Lead me through my raging sea of circumstance — move me above my circumstance — to the rock that is higher than I.
• Psalm 78:53 says, “And he led them on safely, so they feared not: but the sea overwhelmed their enemies.”
• Lord, You are leading me safely to higher ground — to the Rock. You say there is no need for fear, so I will not be afraid.
• Really? You mean that my enemy will become overwhelmed by the sea instead of me? That sounds “doubly” overwhelming — transferred from me being overwhelmed to making my enemy overwhelmed. Yes, my enemy — those things that have been controlling my thoughts, giving me doubts and keeping my eyes off my Jesus. Lord, thank You for tossing my overwhelming enemy into the sea.
• God may not remove our circumstance, but He has given us the power to not only go through it, but to live above it. “Above” means over it, and not touching it.
• (That made me smile as I typed it.)
• If you have read my previous columns, you may be aware that I am a teacher, so here is your homework:
• • Grab a permanent marker.
• Go outside and pick out a special rock.
• Write on it: OVERWHELMED.
• Pray over that circumstance that is overwhelming you.
• • Remember, you can’t. God can. Let Him.
• • Then, draw an X totally across the word you just wrote — OVERWHELMED.
• • Under it, write this new word: OVERCOMER. Yes, it is an overcomer’s rock and…. we all know that overcomers rock! Ann Farabee is a teacher, writer and speaker.
• Contact her at annfarabee@gmail.com or annfarabee.com.

By Ann Farabee

My early experiences with a worship service took place when I was 13. It consisted of passing notes back and forth between my friends and boys that I liked. There was an offering envelope holder on the back of each pew and that envelope was perfect for writing notes to friends. Talking or whispering was not permitted.

At some point during my teen years, my friends and I began slipping down to the altar during what was referred to as the altar call. That was when I began to find less need for passing notes and a newfound need for bowing at the altar in prayer, surrounded by my peers in our youth group. Our youth group never went to the altar alone. We went together and our youth leaders went with us.

That group became my friend group. We soon began going out to eat on Sunday nights after church. I barely noticed at the time that my mother was one of the parents driving us there, and she was making friends, too.

Yes, these memories included food for our bodies, but it was much more than that. It was the beginning of my spiritual development that I would cling to throughout my life.

Our youth group met at church, met in homes, went bowling, played putt-putt, prayed together and stayed together. We shared our problems. We shared our testimonies. We were a group — that became a family — as a result of the sacrifice of time of a leader.

That leader made sure we would break bread and be fed during our teen years.

One evening during youth when we were praying as a group, I remember someone lifting a hand toward heaven in praise. I opened my eyes to see whose hand that was, and it was mine.

I never looked back.

There was spiritual power in that sacrifice of praise from my heart that day.

I recognized that power as the power of the Holy Spirit working in my life.

Never ever underestimate the power of a youth group. I learned the value of having friends who valued what I valued.

I learned about salvation through Jesus Christ. I learned about a relationship with Jesus Christ.

I learned to be friends with others who believed as I did — that Jesus died on the cross for us — and rose again — as a sacrifice for our sins — so that we could live eternally in heaven with Him.

Together, we also learned to worship. Worship is defined as praising, admiring and expressing reverence for God, both privately and publicly. Worship refers to an overall lifestyle of serving and glorifying God and reflecting His glory. The Greek word for worship means to encounter God with praise. An encounter with God is exactly what we needed then — and what we still need today.

Jesus placed a desire to worship in our hearts.

Each week, we need to break bread and be fed.

Still today, what I feel on the inside spills out of my heart and out of my mouth. However, I may feel a little guilty about the wasted offering envelopes.

Thank you to my youth leaders. Your sacrifice of time changed my life.

By Ann Farabee

For you have been my hope, my confidence since my youth. — Psalm 71:5

As a 13-year-old, I began attending church and became involved in a youth group. I knew little about God’s Word, but there were youth leaders and pastors who did. I accepted Jesus into my heart, and began my journey toward spiritual understanding.

When I went away to college, I stopped going to church for a period of time. Spiritually, I ended up in a season of indifference. But the spiritual seed that had been planted in my heart remained. I had my Bible with me in my dorm room, and occasionally, I would take a peek inside the covers of God’s Word, see a verse I loved, and underline it in red.

I knew in my heart that Jesus was my hope and had been since my youth.

I did not understand it, but my confidence in Jesus as my Savior remained.

I will hope continually, and will yet praise you more and more. — Psalm 71:14

I finished college and began my teaching career. God began to work in my life. As years began to pass, I began to turn toward my heart even more toward Christ. I began desiring a closer relationship with Jesus. The years were filled with seasons of success and seasons of failure, but my Christian walk was growing stronger every season.

The spiritual seed that had been planted during my youth had continued to grow. I had a teaching career, but I also spent those years serving the Lord while being a part of the local church. One day, I realized I had begun feasting on His Word not just at church, but also at home. My love for Jesus had grown.

I experienced Jesus being my Savior, Protector, Comforter and Provider.

I experienced Jesus.

And with me Jesus has remained.

I am in awe of how Jesus is with all of us at one time.

How can we help but praise Him more and more? Even when you are old, I will take care of you. Even when your hair turns gray, I will support you. I made you and will continue to care for you. — Isaiah 46:4

I think my hair may now be gray, but I have a hair stylist who makes that gray disappear before I can barely see it. I do admit that I may be starting to feel a little older, as the physical and the mental is a little more difficult.

But the spiritual grows sweeter every day. The Word of God comes more alive in my spirit. I can open my Bible and sometimes my heart begins to race as I sense His Word coming alive through the power of the Holy Spirit. There is something about the season of gray hair — or hair that is not yet allowed to turn gray — that is full of the sweet savor of my Savior.

Now that I think about it, all seasons of my life have been like that.

God has always been there. We have never been alone.

He made us, He loves us and He will continue to care for us, no matter our stage in life. Ann Farabee is a teacher, writer and speaker.

Contact her at annfarabee@gmail.com or annfarabee.com.

By Ann Farabee

How are you?

Fine.

Your call is important to us.

Really?

Why am I on hold for so long?

I hate to interrupt you.

No, you don’t or you wouldn’t have.

I am on my way.

This does not necessarily mean they are in the car yet.

This is the truth.

So, everything you tell me is not the truth?

Just forget about it.

This rarely means you should forget about it.

Be there in a minute.

It probably will be more than a minute.

I may be wrong but…

Well, why say it then?

Let me see what I can do.

I am not always hopeful when hearing this.

No worries.

For some reason, this comment worries me.

I will let you know.

Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don’t.

That is a short list of things we say that we often give little thought to as we say them.

And how about these oxymorons?

Alone together. Civil war. Crash landing. Deafening silence. Found missing. Paper tablecloth. Sad smile. Freezer burn. Good grief. Only choice. Pretty ugly.

During my teaching career, many of my students slipped me notes. On some of those notes were these words: Your the best teacher!

Yes, I knew your should have been you’re.

But those notes were perfect and priceless as penned. No corrections needed!

There are approximately 170,000 words in the English language. Connecting and communicating with others matters.

If not, God would not have given us the ability to construct or concoct that many words.

But our tone and our tongue can sometimes be tragic, even if we intend for it to be timely.

Perhaps with 170,000 word choices, we should always try to think before we speak.

Yes, I may make a blooper, a blunder, or even a boo-boo when speaking to someone.

And when I do, I always have regret, remorse and repentance take place in my heart.

Words can inspire or destroy. Words wisely spoken are winners!

By Ann Farabee

Compassion. We know what it means.

But even greater than that — we know how it feels.

No matter whether we are the giver of compassion or the recipient of compassion, we understand it.

Compassion is defined as sympathetic concern for the sufferings of others. When we need it and we receive, it sure can make a difference.

Do we look for the opportunity to show compassion, or are we just responders when the opportunity comes our way?

Compassion is for everyone.

Compassion has the word compass in it. On a compass, a needle is used as a pointer. It points toward the direction we need to go.

I believe we need to go in the direction of compass-ion.

Compassion can mean to suffer with — which means we allow our hearts to break for someone else. When we show compassion, we become willing to take on someone else’s burdens.

Wait a minute. We have enough burdens of our own, don’t we?

The answer is yes.

Do we even have time to take on the burdens of someone else?

The answer is yes.

We do it all the time.

It may be the burdens of a family member, friend, coworker, member of our church or a stranger.

Galatians 6:2 says for us to bear the burdens of others.

When we pray for those who are burdened, we are casting their cares on Jesus.

Matthew 11:28 tells us that everyone who labors and is carrying heavy burdens can come to Jesus and he will give us rest. What a beautiful example of compassion Jesus gives us in that promise!

Can we extend compassion to everyone? Yes.

Sadly, sometimes it seems more difficult to extend compassion to those we love the most or to those that have committed the infraction that hurts the most.

So, when in doubt, we can go to the greatest examples of compassion there are:

When the Lord saw her, He felt compassion for her and said, “Do not weep.”

—Luke 7:13 Jesus called his disciples to Him, and said, “I feel compassion for the people.”

— Matthew 15:32 Like a shepherd, He will tend His flock. In His arms, He will gather the lambs.

— Isaiah 40:11 Have compassion?

Accumulate it and gather it. Appreciate compassion and recognize its worth.

Cultivate it and prepare and use it. Generate compassion and cause it to arise.

Communicate it and share it. Oxygenate it and enrich it.

Without a doubt, compassion can be spread by those who have it. When someone is hurting, compassion can help them heal.

No one has ever become poor by giving compassion — we only become richer.

Ann Farabee is a teacher, writer and speaker. Contact her at annfarabee@gmail.com or annfarabee.com.

By Ann Farabee

I am fairly certain I laughed when I first heard that term — struggle bus.

I totally and completely understood it immediately.

Being on the struggle bus means having a hard time facing difficulties, obstacles or challenges. As far as the bus part of the phrase, it means the person is stuck in a bad situation they cannot quickly escape due to traveling along a rough road full of problems.

People often use the term struggle bus because it humorously makes light of a challenging circumstance by referring to it as a bus filled with struggles that we cannot exit from until we reach our destination.

Alternative ways to express being on the struggle bus are: in a rut, in a jam, in a bind, in a pickle or in hot water. These phrases are not only pessimistic, but being in a pickle sounds scary.

When we find ourselves on the struggle bus, we need to either look for the next exit or push open the emergency exit door. I was just kidding about that one. Taking a leap out the emergency exit door of the bus in a non-emergency will not get anyone out of the struggle bus.

When I went on field trips on the activity bus with my sixth-grade students, there was nothing as tempting for some of them as desiring to pull the emergency exit door open. They would gather around it, look at it, talk about it, and sometimes someone would touch it. Since I had eyes in the back of my head, I would say, “Stop!” just in time.

What do we do when we are on the struggle bus — and need to get off?

*Find the first stop and exit. Getting off may be a little hard because those around you may not agree that you should get off there, even though you know in your heart that you need to exit.

An important aspect of being on the struggle bus is that the bus also has other strugglers on it. We can use that to our advantage. Talking to and listening to others is one of our greatest assets in life. When we do that, our problems can immediately feel minimized because we are transferring our troubles to a different location in our thoughts, as we help someone else with their troubles. The long-term goal is not to remain on the struggle bus, but while we are there, our healing can come as we minister to others who are also struggling.

When visiting France a few years ago, my husband and I were on a tour bus that was stopping frequently for us to see historical sites. We would get off the bus, walk to the site, enjoy it for a few minutes, get a photo, and head back to the bus. But — there were 50 of us and only 30 seats.

We were packed on the bus like a can of sardines and exited as if the can had been turned over and its contents spewed out. We had to fight to get off the bus and fight to get back on the bus. After several stops, most people chose to just stay seated. It apparently was not worth it to them to struggle to see the sites and make the memories.

It felt like a struggle bus, but instead of just accepting it and staying seated where there was almost no view, we clamored our way off and on that bus over and over and over and stood up the entire time at the front of the bus, since we no longer had a seat. Guess what? With struggles came progress. The struggle was so worth it!

Struggles develop our strengths, testimony, courage and wisdom.

According to Helen Keller, the struggles of life are one of our greatest blessings. They makes us patient, sensitive and more like Jesus.

Ann Farabee is a teacher, writer and speaker. Contact her at annfarabee@gmail.com or annfarabee.com.

By Ann Farabee

‘Where are you?’ The words jumped out at me as I opened my Bible. Those three words from Genesis 3:9 kind of stopped me in my tracks, even though God was talking to Adam and Eve.

Having family members or friends ask me this question is a show of love because they want to know my location. Having God ask me this question is a show of love because He wants me to know my location — and clearly see my situation.

I knew exactly where I was that morning: I was not where I needed to be.

When I read that question, my heart longed to cry out, “God, I’m right here with You! Good morning! Thank You for another day! I know this is the day the Lord has made! I will rejoice and be glad in it!”

Instead, I stared blankly at those words. They seemed enormous.

I knew God was asking me the question: Where are you?

Where are we?

1. Up close? In His arms? Allowing God to be part of each moment of our day. Trusting and resting in Him completely. Allowing Christ into every room of our life.

2. Close? But, not close enough? Still pray. Still serve. Still do daily devotions. But…know in our heart that our busy life leaves little room for the relationship with God that we need. God loves us more than we love ourselves and He longs for fellowship with us.

3. Heading to a faraway land? Been in a close relationship with the Lord, but know we have slipped away? Hurt, bitter, discouraged or paralyzed by our circumstance? It is not about religion. It is about a relationship — with Jesus. He misses us and wants us to move up close.

4. In a distant country? We may believe, but have never accepted Jesus into our hearts. Jesus came from heaven to earth to die on the cross for our sins. He rose again on the third day and conquered death, so that we could live eternally with Him in heaven. Accept Him into your heart. Believe on Him. Confess Him as your Savior. The distance will melt away.

I have been in all these places. But, it is my heart’s desire to stay in that No. 1 position: Up close and in His arms.

Sometimes, I have to redirect myself to get there. But, when I draw near to Him, He draws near to me.

There is nothing sweeter on Earth than fellowship with my heavenly father.

So… where are we?

By Ann Farabee

Am I enough? Age is not a factor when it comes to that question.

I have seen students in despair over fractions saying, “I can’t do it!” I have heard toddlers cry out in exasperation, “I can’t do it!” I have been a mother crying out that same comment, “I can’t do it!”

The feeling of inadequacy can hit at any moment.

We learn our inadequacies early in life. We do not feel smart enough or athletic enough, we do not feel that we look good enough, or we do not feel that we can do things as well as others do.

We feel inadequate.

I experienced all of that when in elementary school, and the feelings only grew.

Experiences and emotions in life inform us that we are not enough.

I grew up on Mill Hill in a mill town. I heard the mill whistle blow every morning, which meant my mother was returning home from working her third-shift job, as my father was heading out to his first-shift job.

I remember not wanting to live in that mill house on that mill hill, because all the popular kids I went to school with lived in brick houses. Most of them lived far enough away from the mill that they did not hear that mill whistle blow.

Yes, my measuring stick for richness was whether someone lived in a mill house or a brick house. In middle school, I began to hear rumblings during school among the girls about sleepovers at their houses. I wanted to be invited, but I suspected that I was not enough.

In my mind, the house I lived in and the side of town I lived on apparently determined my worth. It was not their fault. There was no room in my mill house for their sleepovers and apparently there was no room in their houses for me.

Honestly, it stung a bit.

I began to become friends with others — that I was enough for.

Back then, we called it being popular, but there was nothing popular about me.

I did win the spelling bee in the seventh grade. After that, even the “popular” kids often asked me how to spell words during class, but they still never invited me to their parties.

Looking back, it makes me smile — and even laugh — because I eventually figured out that I was enough.

How do I know that? There is no need to share the how. I only need to share the Who, and the Who is Jesus.

I know Jesus personally, and He knows me personally.

If we can trust Him for our salvation, we can trust Him for our circumstance. And through Jesus, we are enough.

By Ann Farabee

As I stood in the funeral home, it seemed the stories all centered around what she had done for others during her 99 years of life.

One family member told of a recent conversation, where she had emphatically stated, “I loved cooking all the meals for my husband and my three sons. It made me happy.”

As I heard this, I smilingly shook my head while thinking, “The joy of cooking?” But she had meant it with her whole heart. She probably felt that same joy when cleaning. Perhaps she felt that joy even as she was doing the laundry.

Stay at home mom, right?

No.

She directed children’s choirs.

She taught kindergarten.

She was Head of Volunteer Services at the hospital.

She faithfully served in her church.

She was a friend to all.

She loved her family well.

And when she needed a ‘break’ from her work, that break came in the form of playing the piano:

• At age 99 – in the assisted living facility where she lived.
• On Sundays – at the church that she and her family faithfully attended.
• And a special performance – on a mansion tour near a New Mexico Boy Scout Camp where she played ‘Jesus Loves Me’ on a $200,000 piano.

But for the family, perhaps the most cherished memories were walking in the back door of home and hearing the hymns flow.

Surely there were days she had not felt like cooking, or cleaning, or teaching, or directing, or maybe even playing the piano. Perhaps she felt like sitting down and taking a break. But if she did, no one remembers seeing that happen.

As years passed, her mind and body began to grow tired. And one day, she was ushered into her eternal home in the arms of Jesus, where according to 1 Peter 1:4, she received an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled, that fades not away, reserved in heaven for her. Yes, a place was reserved in heaven! She had reservations!

While on earth, she had lived as we all do – good times, hard times, busy times, quiet times. She chose not just to live a life – but to live a life of joy.

A life of serving her family. A life of serving others. A life of serving her Savior.

0 to 99 – a lot of years – a lot of life – a lot of love. And…it was the daily little things that ended up being the really big things.

What a beautiful legacy. I am sure she had no idea the magnitude of what she was leaving behind for others to emulate in their own lives, because she was too busy spending her time creating that legacy.

After she heard these words, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant,” I have no doubt as to what happened next. She sat down… and began playing the piano for Jesus.

Ann is a speaker and teacher. Contact her at annfarabee@gmail.com or annfarabee.com