By Lynna Clark
A few years before David passed, he let me know he did not want a funeral. I remember cocking my head at him as I informed. “Well it won’t be for you. You won’t be there.” He nodded quietly then gently replied. “No… but you will. And I don’t want you to have to go through all that.” It was one of the most thoughtful things I’d ever heard. He was trying to save me the grief of picking out a casket, making arrangements, enduring visitation, and the next day attending a funeral plus a traditional graveside service; all the while, numb with grief and exhausted from losing the love of my life. Of course he didn’t know at the time that he would go first. We always thought it would be me since I’ve been the puny one. But the Lord had different plans. So when David went gently into his Savior’s arms four weeks ago, I had a decision to make. I knew our children were not going to be happy without honoring their dad somehow.
Thankfully they stepped in with a compromise. So together we planned a “Funeral Party.” Grace Bible Church opened their Fellowship Hall to us, then jumped in with both feet to make it happen. The Ladies of Grace, aptly named, provided a spread of finger foods that only a bunch of Church ladies know how to do. Pastor Jason piped in music over the speakers. His wife Michelle made handouts with David’s life story and his picture. She included the obituary I wrote about him so folks who’d lost touch with us would know where we’d been the last 50 or so years. Time flies and all that. Our three girls gathered pictures of David and the family. Stephanie compiled them digitally so that over 160 shots scrolled on a loop. Amanda and Hannah arranged photos on those black science project boards and placed those around. Suddenly David’s life was being remembered exactly as it was: full of laughter, fun, and faithfulness to the God he served, plus his family. Precious memories indeed.
We’re we exhausted by the end? Darlin’ we were exhausted before we started. But joy, what joy. God sweetly held us together and made us strong for the funeral party. No one felt pressured to say nice things or give a eulogy. The pictures said it all. Since it was not labeled a funeral, folks dressed comfortably as best I could tell. I know I did. Lots of hugs were exchanged and care was given. Students he taught and coached, friends we hadn’t seen in years, our pharmacist! Oh! so much love was poured out. Best of all, a faithful man was honored. It was in fact, the best party I’ve ever been to.
Taken one year earlier for our 50th anniversary flyer. Little did we know what the 51st year would bring. So thankful for this picture. I was so weak that day that I had on a nightgown and just covered it with a shawl. Praise God for giving us so many good days together.
