By Lynna Clark
I have a framed sign in my house that I love. It has held true for many years. Come to think of it, I probably should dust that thing. I love it even more especially now. It simply says, “He is faithful in every season.”
Nearly everything in my life changed the day I lost David. No longer do I hang the stockings while thinking of how to get the Zero candy bars he loved so much. In fact, for the first time ever, there was no reason to hang stockings. He sure isn’t out hunting down all the chocolate covered pretzels he can find for me. Last year I found the last bag in the pantry in April. Praise God for airtight packaging! What a treat. I even shared them with him though his appetite was already failing.
Thankfully we stopped putting up a Christmas tree several years back. We decided long ago we’d need that space for people instead. Last Christmas he bought me an obelisk; a pretty wooden pyramid structure that fits well in the flowerbed by the door. The kids twisted bright colored bulbs around it and it works just fine in lieu of a tree. And David used to grill steaks on Christmas Eve for the whole family. This year Shane is smoking pork in his new smoker. Just another sign of the new season. David also used to make a foot tub of Scrabble as his mother would say. I found his recipe for Chex Mix the other day and hope to do the same. But there’s no way it will be as good as his. He’d also make white chocolate clusters with pretzels then give me the speech about how he couldn’t get real white chocolate anymore, only the candy coating. Our Christmas experience was always enhanced by the speech. I won’t hear it this year, but it’s okay. I’ve got it memorized. His other Christmas speech involved something about not touching my gifts from him until Christmas morning. I’ve got it memorized too but this year it doesn’t apply.
The point is I’m in a new season. It truly feels like everything has changed. I’ve never in my life lived alone. It’s so weird. I think of things I need to ask him, then realize… he’s not here to tell me the guy’s name who does the Salsa in the endzone. I wonder about our year-end offering that we used to pray about and always, without fail, came up with the same number. I reach for him at night, but he is not there. The light I left on for him in the bathroom stays on all night just so I feel like he’ll be to bed soon. Everything has changed.
Except this.
The Lord is faithful in every season. As the old hymn says, “Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not. Great is Thy faithfulness!” His mercies are new every single morning. For many years I’ve enjoyed the fact that the Lord gives so abundantly. Now He has taken away. Dare I say it? Yes I will. For He is ALWAYS faithful!
“He gives and takes away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord.”
PS: If you are grieving this Christmas, try reading A Decembered Grief by Harold Ivan Smith. My kind friend Karen gave me a copy and it has been such a help. Also, the verses I quoted above are found in Lamentations 3:23, Hebrews 13:8, and Job 1:21. The angels called Him Emmanuel, because He is with us, no matter how alone we feel.
