Flexing the Gratitude Muscle

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By Ashlie Miller

I’m embarrassed to admit it, but there was a time when I did not express gratitude as I should. It was not because we were lower middle class (or were we upper lower class?) and did not have many possessions. We had what we needed plus a little, and even a poor church mouse can be cheery and worship with gratitude. Although we often look down upon the youth of today and their sense of entitlement, I think there were plenty of us who took things for granted – that what we needed or desired would be provided. Full stop. 

Thankfully, some mentors in my life who bore with me – a teenager with 90s angst – continued to pour into me, treating me to meals, unexpected shopping trips, or other times together. When one young mom took me for an afternoon treat, I remember it was not until after I had made it back home that I realized I had not even thanked her for making time for me. Gratitude is like a muscle to work. When we do not practice it, it atrophies. Though I had learned to worship God in the church, I had not exercised gratitude in the marketplace and in my daily life. I was really weak in that area. Thankfully, that moment became a turning point. 

Fast forward – for years, my mother had inexpensive, vinyl tablecloths adorning her Thanksgiving tables along with Sharpies for guests to write notes of their reflections on the last year and why they were thankful this year. We can see the progress over time of grandchildren and the seasons of life of each family unit. Hand-tracings, sometimes shaped into a turkey, represent the hands that are too little to write. There are notes from those who were guests that year, many of whom have now passed away, making the $5 tablecloth invaluable. 

You may have your own gratitude tradition – a decorative stick tree with paper leaves marking thanks; a journal filled in by family members; social media posts expressing reflections throughout the month; circling the room to share testimonies. It can also be much more subdued, with taking a moment for one person to say grace while looking back at what the family as a whole has come through that year. 

As previously mentioned, five different Thanksgiving gatherings await my family this year. As a Christian, I am aware that Sundays are not the only day to worship. Nor is Thanksgiving the only special day for expressing gratitude, but intentional gatherings marked by thanks can effectively set us up for a rhythm of offering praise to our Provider. 

My youngest child often loves to end a meal with a gratitude game we play. He delights in getting it out for us. I am sure part of it is childlike delight in playing a game with the family, but the result is practicing praise. If gratitude is a muscle to exercise, I am excited to see how strong my children could be if they continue to work this routine of thankfulness. 

You may be approaching the coming week as just another full week of gatherings. That could be all it is for you. The idea of exercising anything in a week of total consumption is not inviting. What if you practice exercising your gratitude before your gatherings? What difference could what you give (thanks) make in your personal takeaway for the holiday ? 

Thankful

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By Doug Creamer

Thankful

            Fall chores can sure keep me busy. I worked on getting up the leaves in my yard over the weekend, but by Monday afternoon you would never know it. I know it will soon come to an end, but it can sure be frustrating to not feel any sense of accomplishment. There are still a number of other chores that need to be done before winter sets in. On top of that, it’s time to start decorating for Christmas.

            I was talking with a group of friends about when they begin decorating for the holidays and there is no consensus. While many people wait to put their tree up until after Thanksgiving, there are some who have their tree up and decorated already. My neighbors and I try to have our outside decorations up by the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I won’t start putting up our tree until at least the first weekend in December.

            This hectic rush towards Christmas bothers me because it feels like we are skipping Thanksgiving. There are Christmas movies playing on TV. There is Christmas music playing in the stores. Many people are laser focused on Christmas. I think it is important for us to slow down and give thanks to God for the many blessings in our lives.

            I’m thankful for the beautiful fall that we have enjoyed this year. We had that one cold shot that netted us a few snow flurries. Other than that, we have enjoyed some wonderful fall weather. The good weather has allowed me to get quite a bit of work done outside, which always feels great. I have also really enjoyed the beautiful fall foliage. 

            Giving thanks for the everyday stuff can help improve your outlook on life. Sometimes life gets hard and we lose focus on the good things that are happening around us every day. It’s easy to get distracted by the news or the political backbiting. Take a moment and look around you at all the ways God has blessed you. A thankful heart can change your perspective, especially in challenging times.

            Have you got a roof over your head? Do you have a bed to sleep in? Do you have food on your table? Do you have nice clothes to wear? There are people in Ukraine, Palestine, and Jamaica, just to name a few places, who don’t have these simple basics for life. Turn your heart to God right now and let him know how grateful you are for life’s basics.

            Have you thanked God for the people in your life? We never know how long anyone has on this earth. This is the first year we will celebrate Thanksgiving without my Dad. It gives me a deeper appreciation for my family. We should be thankful when we get the opportunity to spend time with the people who mean so much to us. It doesn’t matter if it’s family, neighbors, or friends. We should engage and enjoy every chance we get to be together.   

            Have you thanked God for your church family? I have been fortunate to have good church families all through my life. I love my church family. We have a great men’s group at my church. My church family has been and will be there for me when I face difficult times and I will be there for them too. We are blessed with a good pastor who truly shepherds our church family.

            While good food it is not the most important part of Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the many delicious treats that I will be enjoying this Thanksgiving. The good food often stirs great memories of years gone by. I remember other gatherings and the efforts people made to come together through rain, snow, and ice to celebrate and share special times together. Holiday food traditions stir the warmth and the love that should fill our hearts with thanks.

            I want to encourage you to steal a few moments of quiet and thank the Lord for your many blessings. Good food, family, friends, a place to call home, and good health are all great places to begin your thanksgiving prayers. A thankful heart will change your perspective on whatever situation you find yourself in this year. Remember God is good in spite of your circumstances and that He has blessed you in so many ways. God painted me a beautiful sunset this evening that took my breath away while I was walking. Don’t let the world push you around. Take time to notice God’s goodness and faithfulness in your life and give Him thanks. Happy Thanksgiving and many blessings to you and your family!

Contact Doug Creamer at PO Box 777, Faith, NC 28041or doug@dougcreamer.com

A Tribute Too Late

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By Roger Barbee

In September, 1968 I left my hometown in North Carolina and traveled to Maryland where I began teaching in a rural county on its Eastern Shore.  Like most recent college graduates, I was eager and knew I was ready to “change the world.” I had four years of learning behind me that I felt had given me all that was necessary to conquer any hurdle that presented itself. I had, as Mark Twain observed, “the confidence of a Christian holding four aces.”  When I arrived to my assigned junior high school, I was not fazed by the number of students assigned for my two 7th grade classes of Language Arts/Social Studies, the poverty of my students, and all the problems their poverty would present. After all, I had my degree, and one of my sisters had helped me carefully choose a small, but versatile wardrobe fitting for a young educator. 

Because this was early in the integration of the county’s schools, the tracking system was used.  In such a system students were placed in classes based on academic scores. My two classes of Language Arts/Social Studies were sections 7-14 and 7-4, one the lowest academic class, and the other near the top of the academic ladder. My 7-14 section met in the morning in the main building, and after lunch 7-4 met in the National Guard Armory directly behind the school.  The racial make-up of the fourteen sections was not surprising—the lower sections were all black and the highest sections were white, and in the middle sections there was some balance of blacks and whites. However, as I mentioned, I was ready to take on any problem of education and to correct it. I do not remember myself as being arrogant, but I was confident.

Many of my sixty odd students were mired in poverty. Before too long I learned how to ignore the odor of clothes worn too often without being washed, or the breath from a mouth that knew no oral hygiene, or the sour stench of urine. I learned how to smile when I gave my Chap Stick to a student who had asked to borrow mine. If returned, I later would drop it into the trash can. I became accustomed to “loaning” lunch money. I learned to deal with any discipline problems in my room and not to send any unruly student to the school office because that short trip would likely result in a paddling of a black student by the white principal or his white assistant. I learned to make two lesson plans for my classes—one that I turned in to the principal, and the one that I used in my room. I learned the value of keeping my classroom door closed to the outside world of the school.

An 8th grade girl that I remember as Joyce taught me a valuable lesson about the influence of parents. One day walking down the main hall, I saw a girl at the water fountain. A substitute teacher was calling for her to return quickly to class, and the girl said, “I will when I am ready, God ….” I took the girl to the office and she was suspended. Two days later I was called to the Guidance Counselor’s office of Mr. Jim Robinson. In his office sat Joyce and a woman with disheveled hair and a loose dress covering her amble frame. I noticed that her shoes were well worn like her dress, and that they did not properly fit her calloused feet. Mr. Robinson informed me that Joyce would be allowed to return to school as soon as she apologized to me. The four of us sat in the small office and Mr. Robinson gently told Joyce to apologize to me so that she could return to school, but she just sat looking down at the floor. Mr. Robinson repeated his request a few times with the same result. Finally, Joyce’s mother reached across the sofa they shared, shook her daughter, and said, “God…., Joyce, apologize to this man.”  I looked to Mr. Robinson and said, “I accept Joyce’s apology” and walked out—never to forget that lesson.

Before September was over, I became aware that, although I had knowledge and skills to offer my students and fellow educators, they had offerings that I needed to accept willingly and with grace. One student named Jerry began calling me only by my last name, but he pronounced it as “Baabe”. However, he said it with affection and respect, so I went with it. I became aware that the more I gave my students, especially the less gifted ones, the more they gave me. The words of my Granny Susie resonated in my ears: “Sugar draws more flies than vinegar,” and I learned that for many of my students, kindness was the most important thing I had to offer them. English and social studies could follow.

Four of my colleagues took me under their care and guided me in how to teach and sometimes more. Irvin and his wife Doris, both teachers a bit older than I, fed me good meals since a young single man would not cook or eat healthy. They also offered me social outlets with their friends, and they tolerated my immature actions by always being a safe harbor where I could lick the wounds that only a young man could inflict on himself.  Frank taught me how to live and enjoy each day as if it were a song or other gift involving music. He was, after all, a music teacher. His attitude concerning life was not trivial, he was old enough to be my father, but he had learned that most events in life were not to be taken too seriously.  Fred, too, was old enough to be my father, and he had a “lazy eye” that took me some time to become accustomed to. A large, imposing man, he was an assistant principal, but his office was down the main hallway away from the main office. He taught me how to politically navigate a school and how to avoid conflicts with the administration. He was wise in the way of schools and men. He shared with me all the wisdom of his that I could absorb. But Jim Robinson, the guidance counselor, taught me the biggest lesson of all.

Somewhere in my early months, and for some unknown reason, I began carrying a yard stick. I would use it as a pointer to the chalkboard, tap it on the floor to gain the attention of my students, lean on it when stressing a point or correcting a student’s behavior, or just carry it in my hand as if it were a sword and I a young officer. I don’t remember how long I carried the yard stick, but I will never forget Jim Robinson asking me to come into his office one day during my free period.

After we had settled, Jim asked me about the yard stick and why I carried it. I gave him the best reasons that I could, some of which I have mentioned. He then went on to tell me that my 7-14 students, the ones who had class with me in the main building, came from extremely poor homes. I told him that I was aware of that, but what was his point. He then explained to me how the poverty of their homes meant that their parents were usually uneducated, frustrated by their life circumstances, and sometimes heavy drinkers. He went on to explain that many of the fathers and some mothers were crude and that my students had grown up in brutal environments. Parents like these, he went on to explain, thought little of beating one of my students with a limb or stick or hand. For so many of my students, he said, life at home could be mean, and often the safest place for them was school. I asked Jim what that had to do with me, and he looked at me and said, “The yard stick, Roger. Your students see it as a weapon in your hand. It will make them fear you.” Stunned, I sat for quite a while with Jim in his office, and having taken in all his words and their importance, I thanked him and went to my classroom down the hall and put the yard stick in the room closet. Then Jim surprised me again when a few days later he came into my room and thanked me for listening and explained that our conversation was a rare in his experience.

In The Odyssey, the young Telemakhos, the son of Odysseus, has Mentor, a comrade of his father, to guide him. I, too, had my Mentors who were black and they took a young, idealistic white man in their care and worked to help him understand things about living and teaching. And as I look back over these near fifty years since that fall of 1968 and write about them, I thank them for their patience, wisdom, and willingness to share their craft with a young man. They taught me much, but most of all they taught me, as we say in teaching literature, the point-of-view–to see every “yard stick” through the eyes of a child.

Thank you, Irvin and Doris, Frank, Fred, and Jim.

45 Years of Running

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By David Freeze

45 Years of Running Have Seen Lots of Change

   I was one of the people glued to the ESPN 2 coverage on Sunday of the New York City Marathon, a race I was fortunate to do four times. It was also my first marathon and capped my first complete year of running 1980. While watching my very first marathon on TV, which just happened to be New York City, I quietly committed to participating in the next year’s event. All this from a guy who could then barely run a mile.

    Jim Fixx’s book, the Complete Book of Running, was a huge bestseller in 1977. Fixx is credited as a major contributor to the American fitness craze, and I was all in by 1979 after watching this first marathon. I got serious quickly, began running daily while dropping 25 pounds over the first month. I learned on my feet and by reading Fixx’s book. I was hooked immediately. So were lots of others.

    The euphoric feeling of accomplishment after a successful run makes the effort worth it as running has become an increasingly popular hobby due to its many benefits. 

    The first New York City marathon was organized by New York Road Runners in 1970. 127 runners were registered to run, but only 55 finished. Nowadays, marathon running is so popular that over 55,000 finished the recent 2025 marathon. More are casual runners who view running as a recreational activity than the competitive athletes who once dominated the sport.

     Locally, as an example, there will be more than 20 races within 2 hours drive time on Thanksgiving morning. Many will be filled with those who pay an exorbitant fee to get a participation medal and won’t pay a lot of attention to mile pace.  

   As running has become an increasingly popular activity, more people are running, but times are not becoming faster. The average marathon time has increased over the years, meaning runners are only getting slower. For most people, running has become less of a sport and more of a hobby. There are a multitude of reasons why people have begun to pick up the hobby, as there are both physical and psychological benefits to running. Running improves overall cardiovascular health, strengthens muscles and burns calories. Most people also view running as a way to manage stress and boost mood.

   While we run physically, our mind is also in motion, processing various thoughts. Many people find their minds wandering in different directions. Some use running as a way to meditate, relieve stress, and provide clarity for problems in overwhelming situations. The repetitive motion of running can be both calming and grounding.

   When running, heart rate increases, breathing gets harder, and endorphins are released. Running is not only physical but psychological, and oftentimes it is more of a mental challenge than a physical one.  Our brains dictate when we should stop rather than muscle exhaustion. Therefore, running is an exercise for the mind, just as much as it is for the body, because running forces the mind to overcome its doubts. 

    Running has become a more diverse sport, where people of all ages, races and genders have taken up the hobby. At the beginning of the running craze, runners were mostly men; but today, women have started running and often outnumber men in certain events.  

    Running used to be inexpensive while requiring only a pair of running shoes and an open space to run. It is certainly more expensive now. The right running shoes have become an investment in our health and most runners have multiple pairs and types. We used to repair our one pair of shoes with Shoe Goo. Races have a rising entry fee, and many runners pay for coaching. Fueling the body with the necessary nutrients can also be costly and there are plenty of fads.  Although it is easy to participate in the basic activity without spending too much money, there are so many resources and ways for the sport to get expensive. 

    I bought my first Garmin watch for about $40 while the upper end now tops out over $1,000. Everybody wore cotton in the 80’s, and now it’s all about performance tech material. Socks have evolved nearly as much as have shoes.

    Running has become less of a competitive sport but a widely embraced lifestyle. The benefits of running, including physical and mental improvements, are appreciated by many. Running at its core remains an accessible and rewarding form of exercise.

    Next up is the Girls on the Run program hosting a graduation 5K open to community runners on Saturday, November 22nd, and the Thanksgiving Day Butterball 5K follows. Look for these and other events at www.salisburyrowanrunners.org

Old Dog

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By Lynna Clark

Oh the stuff I am learning. How to change the water filter… how to empty the vacuum canister… how to take apart the outdoor umbrella base to empty it of water so it doesn’t freeze… All sorts of new tricks. I guess I took for granted many things David did for us; just being the man of the house. Part of it was his way of protecting me from using strength he knew I didn’t have. But mostly he just stayed in behind the stuff that I never thought about. Who knew the vacuum would eventually fill up if no one flipped that little latch so the dust would fall out? Thank the Lord I had sense enough to hold it over the trash can before I tried it. Then our water began tasting like a combination of metal and bleach. And it dawned on me. The filter needs to be changed. Kinda like the box of soda in the fridge which helps keep down odor. It’s supposed to be changed? Huh! Who knew? So I lefty-loosied the filter until my hands gave out. Then realized I had it upside down. So then I righty-tightied it until that sucker popped off and behold! Clean water was mine again! Woohoo! I am woman! Hear me roar! Or something more fitting for a woman of God.

Lest you think I’m a total dingbat, [too late, you say?] I’ve always been in charge of the finances. David never looked at our money or worried about our lack thereof. He knew I’d manage it. Occasionally he’d say, “Stay off Amazon for a while. I might have bought something I’d like to be a surprise.” So I would. I wouldn’t even check my emails until he’d tell me his package had been delivered. He loved surprising me.

There are some things however that can’t be learned, or fixed so far. There was a supermoon a week or so ago. David and I used to step out on the back deck once the moon was above the trees just to enjoy the beauty of it together. He’d gather me in front of him, wrap his big ol’ arms around me and we’d just gaze into the heavens at the Lord’s beautiful handiwork. Eventually he’d kiss me on the head and we’d silently go back inside. I never imagined grieving over checking on the moon by myself. I’m afraid this Christmas will not be the most wonderful time of the year. If I’m being honest, I almost dread it. But then I’m reminded. If he had not loved me so well, I wouldn’t miss him so much.

Fifty three years together. Two years dating plus fifty one married. All that love in exchange for the grief that is mine for now. Not a bad trade-off when I think of it that way. Especially in light of the fact that I’ll see him again in the not too distant future. What a wonderful day that will be! Even better than Christmas.

Too Many Thanksgivings

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By Ashlie Miller

Divorce, death of a loved one, relocation, and having to work on holidays. Many seasons of life can transform holiday gatherings. I remember as young parents, the logistical gymnastics it took to get three boys ages five and under to multiple Thanksgiving dinners. His dad’s side, his mom’s side, my side, usually within about 24-36 hours! I often stressed at the thought of making it to each place intact with any amount of appetite left to receive the endeavors of the cook graciously. Then, there was balancing multiple plates while discouraging little hands from touching all the biscuits and rolls (because, let’s face it, that is all they wanted, regardless of how much effort went into the turkey and dressing). Don’t even get me started on getting through it all with no naps. But over the years, due to changes in the seasons of life, gatherings may be fewer in attendance, and some have even completely dissolved over time (who wants to take over hosting now that Grandma has passed?). 

Time brings more transitions, and again, we find ourselves with multiple gatherings to attend. This year is probably record-setting for us with five: a Friendsgiving begins our festivities, followed by three consecutive family gatherings, and topped off by a church family celebration. I no longer have to balance multiple plates, and the loss of loved ones over the years brings a new appreciation for the numerous gatherings, even if my introverted spirit will need a week to recover afterwards. 

“Won’t you get tired of the same meal repeated five times?!” you may be asking. Actually, a traditional Thanksgiving meal is probably my favorite menu. Yes, each of the gatherings will likely have several vegetable sides (both green and starches like sweet potato casserole), stuffing or dressing (there is a difference, and I prefer the latter if given the choice), rolls, a turkey, of course, a few other miscellaneous sides, and a full dessert table (which, depending on the household, may include sweet potato casserole if not considered a vegetable). 

You likely have similar tables and multiple gatherings, but that is where the similarities in the gatherings end. The reflections of gratitude, abundance, and grace will vary at each location. One place may be filled with fun and games, laughter, and the joy of the time together, unwinding with the people you feel most comfortable with. Though gratitude is not expressed in words, there is a common understanding of what you have been through together. Another stop may reflect getting through tough times – want and need, loss of various kinds, working through grief or other sorrow. It may be quieter and more awkward, but a different measure of grace is present. You may be blessed with a gathering that is straightforward and intentional with expressing praise to the Creator and Provider through testimony, writing it out on a placemat or leaves for a gratitude tree, or casually sharing stories of sustenance over the past year. Not every place is easy, though, is it? You may be gathering where the focus is the meal, not the people, nor the Great Provider. Tensions are strained. You wonder why you even show up. Perhaps the grace is what comes after leaving and realizing the gift of the solace, though imperfect it may be, of the home you have built away from where you grew up.

I’m not sure how many feasts are on your schedule. Whether you approach them with reluctance or with eagerness, there is room for grace and gratitude in as much variety as the sides that accompany the turkey. Just be looking for it. 

Ashlie Miller will be giving thanks in Cabarrus and Rowan County. Nothing could be finer! You may contact her at mrs.ashliemiller@gmail.com.

Turning 100

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By Doug Creamer

Turning 100

            We took a trip home to see my mother-in-law over the weekend. We had a nice drive up. While I was up there I got the chance to see my sister and her family. We enjoyed a long walk on a warm afternoon, which included a few moments standing out by the Chesapeake Bay. The water was almost like glass and the beauty of the day was captivating. The drive back to North Carolina was cold and windy and included snow flurries as we arrived home. It was a full weekend.

            If you met my mother-in-law you would never know she was 100. Her mother lived to be 107, so her genes must be good. The only hint of age comes from her using a walker, which only serves to steady her on her feet. In the kitchen, her favorite place, she doesn’t use the walker. Her face is smooth and free of wrinkles, though her eyes are a little weak after a hundred years of service. Conversations are pleasant when she wears her hearing aids, and her outlook on life seems positive, even though she worries about her kids, grandkids, and great grandkids.

            I asked about her childhood and she told me that she lived through the Great Depression and World War II. She talked about the rationing and its impact on daily life. She grew up in Georgia where people like their tea to be sweet. The sugar rationing had a big impact on the sweet tea. She talked about growing up in a large family and the rationing of shoes meant that her father had to re-sole their shoes because they couldn’t get new pairs.  

            I asked about food during those difficult times. She said she grew up on a farm where they always had enough food to eat. She said they had chickens, cows, hogs, sheep, and goats. She remembered sheering the sheep and preparing an animal for a meal. Animals were not thought of as pets, they were food. She talked about all the work that had to be done on the farm and how each family member had chores to do. She told me that her dad, who was also a blacksmith, had a big farm and had to hire men to help get all the work done.

            She told me that her dad’s farm came from her grandfather. She had aunts and uncles who also had farms around them. They would help each other get the work done when it was sheep shearing time or when the corn harvest was ready. It took everyone working together to get all the work done. It brought a smile to her face to remember how people came together to help each other out.

            She told me about graduating from high school in a class of twelve. She remembered that most of the people she knew graduated from high school in her community. After high school she went to work for the telephone company in Savannah. She was young and the supervisors were strict. She worked at the phone company for more than 15 years and had several promotions.

            She reflected on other areas of her life, including stories of her children. There were hard times and good times. She has told me a couple of times how she met my father-in-law, who passed a few years ago. It is a great story filled with love. She told me that she strongly believes that her faith in God throughout her life has made all the difference.

            She told me that everyone needs to repent of their sins and turn to the Father for grace, mercy, and love. She believes in the power of prayer and she firmly believes that we can hear the voice of God in our spirits to help guide us through life. She shared some specific examples of how God spoke to her, guiding her through her choices. She wants everyone to have a relationship with Jesus so they can go to heaven.

            At 100 years old, she is excited to go to her heavenly home. She knows there are streets of gold and beauty beyond compare. She knows her family is waiting for her to complete her journey and join them for a glorious family reunion. We have had many conversations in recent years about what heaven will be like when we get there someday. She is at peace about her final destination and prays fervently that all will join her.

            I want to encourage you to turn your hearts over to Jesus. Trust Him. This world and all its craziness will one day pass away and we will be with our Savior and Heavenly Father for all eternity. No one knows their day or hour; my mother-in-law just wants everyone to be ready. Between now and then, she hopes people can learn to work together, much like her family did on their farm.

Contact Doug Creamer at PO Box 777, Faith, NC 28041or doug@dougcreamer.com

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