Ashlie Miller

By Ashlie Miller

While Mother’s Day is responsible for catapulting card and flower sales, Father’s Day has been reduced evidently to beer paraphernalia, novelty office games, or grilling supplies that are more ornamental than useful. Dads, do you really want any of that stuff? The clearance tables, weeks later, would have me believe the answer is “no.”

Television and movies succumb to the common tropes of the befuddled father often surrendering to his inadequacies as a household manager or the overconfident but not taken seriously professional or blue-collar worker. Why would anyone want to spend a Sunday celebrating someone like that?

Fathers are often absent from the nuclear family or, at best, disengaged. Then there are families who have lost fathers due to tragic situations, abandonment, or terminal illness. My childhood was not unscathed either.

Fortunately, I was blessed with precious father figures for different seasons of life. My Daddy, the definer of what I would think “Father” would be – tall, handsome, a Marine. Oorah! I saw him as strong, although I did not know he was living with cancer. My maternal granddaddy along with my grandmother, stepped in during difficult years to love and to care for me.  Later, God provided a stepfather and another grandfather to share love and care as well.

Then there is my my husband, with little expectation growing up of having a large family of his own, who has proven to be an exemplary father. He displays love, intentionality, and engagement with each of his children. The moments, memories, and milestones I missed by not having a bond with my own Daddy in my developmental years, I partake through his relationship with our children. I’m a big believer in God’s redemptive story. Seeing a loving earthly father imperfectly but  beautifully echo the Heavenly Father is something to celebrate!

Realistically, not everyone has the same redemptive stories in their lives. There may be generations of absent, disengaged, or abusive fathers. It can leave a person jaded from clearly observing the good in another father figure, even the Heavenly Father, yet He is the perfect Father. Maybe a good scavenger hunt through the Bible will set things right:

If you have been rejected or dealt with harshly by an uncaring father, God is tender and compassionate to those who fear him (Psalm 103:13).

Do you see yourself as fatherless? He inclines Himself to the fatherless and the widows and places the lonely and deserted into families and homes (Psalm 68:5-6).

Did your father fail to be the provider he was supposed to be? God the Father knows your needs before you ask (Matthew 6:8), sees your worth (Matthew 6:26), and not only rewards us based on His all-seeing presence (Matthew 6:4) but also gives good gifts for the asking (Matthew 7:11, James 1:17).

Whether or not you have had a loving example of fatherhood, Father’s Day can be happy if you get to know the Heavenly Father this weekend.

By Ashlie Miller

“Have a great summer!” If you dig up an old school yearbook, someone at some point likely wrote that in the front or end pages of yours. Although it’s in the middle of the year, summer comes at a closure and seasonal “goodbye” for many people. We wish a “great summer” in a way that we do not proclaim any other season, except perhaps the Christmas holiday. While each season has its gift, does any season provide as much time for recreation, leisure, and renewal?

Swimming, running, and pickleball, hiking and camping in the great outdoors, attending games, outdoor concerts, movies in the park, grilling at the neighbor’s (Northern or Cali transplants, do not call this a barbecue, please), block parties, summer-themed festivals, and even the quieter hobbies of bird watching and gardening all bid us outside. Or maybe you escape the humidity and enjoy the air conditioning by catching up on puzzles, watching Christmas movies in July, completing the work-in-progress hobby or task, or reading.

Many also find a fire reignited, not just by sitting around a campfire and sharing stories and thoughts, but perhaps as students attending a camp or children at a Vacation Bible School. I remember the days of hot camp meetings as choirs joined together and preachers preached under a large tent over a sawdust-laden ground. 

Attendees of VBS, youth camps, and seasonal church meetings often leave with a sense of renewal, rededication, or recommitment to what (or Who) matters most. 

Even work can seem less like the exhausting tedium of toil in this season for some (with apologies to landscapers and road-workers). Extended hours of daylight can provide more opportunities for recreation after hours. 

The season can be a life-giving recharge before schedules for many resume or take an upswing in September. Recreation lives up to the name of RE-creating life and vibrancy within us.

Summer often takes us back to the memory of Eden – the garden of the dawn of the ages that held such promise, but was spoiled by mankind’s will, desire, and lack of contentment, trust, and obedience. The place of walking in intimate communion with God. 

We look to re-create such things through moments of leisure. Maybe if we spend enough time appreciating nature, we will learn something about ourselves or something greater beyond ourselves, if such things exist. Perhaps if we make time to connect with our neighbors, friends, or community, a hole of deep communion will be filled. If we are lucky, maybe some focused solitude on a worthwhile project will make work feel purposeful, beautiful, and enjoyable for once. But summer will end, and there may still be desires unsatisfied. C.S. Lewis famously wrote, “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”

Let’s not pretend that we can recreate Eden or heaven on earth through our recreation this summer, but if such pleasures and pauses bring a greater awareness of creation, our Creator, and a need to return to such things, we truly can “have a great summer!”

By Ashlie Miller

Recently, our 18-year-old son graduated from high school. While he was but a newborn, an event nearby rocked the community – what became known as the “Sun Drop Murders” (whose victims were Donna Barnhardt and Darrell Noles). Our family would often pass by the area on the way to my in-laws, the kids’ grandparents.

At our son’s graduation, I reminisced on the passage of time – a time that went by too quickly. I recall the early years of struggling with language arts in particular, and then seeing him later thrive and enjoy those subjects. Likewise, it seemed like yesterday that he was struggling to breathe when many colds would affect his little body and turn into infections. The sweet times when I was his world, and he was mine, transformed into launching into independence. Eighteen years flew by too quickly. Some days were long, but the years really were short, like the saying goes.

But 18 years can also drag on senselessly, sometimes seemingly without hope. While we cannot speak on behalf of the victims’ families, most of us know some measure of prolonged waiting, though many of us may not relate to a sense of delayed justice. In this case, and in my comparison, those years of waiting really have been a lifetime.

Perhaps you resonate with excruciating years of waiting for something or someone. We resonate with the Psalmist who said, “How long, O Lord?” (Psalm 13:1). Tragedy, estrangement, betrayal, despair, and scarcity can feel more tangible than the resolution our soul longs for.

Though these murders may have been unsolved, they were never fully closed. The Concord investigators pursued justice, and the case was never forgotten, either by the families or law enforcement, thankfully.

In our own lives, we can also trust that God sees all wrongs that need to be made right, keeps record of our tears, and never forgets. But when we cannot see Him working, or things are not resolved in our way and understanding, we might doubt Him or our faith. Yet, He is still working. The recent arrest can remind us that secrets have an expiration date. Yes, sometimes humans can uncover them. But our Sovereign God sees when things happen and will, in His way and time, either now or in eternity, execute perfect justice.

Do you feel unsettled when stories seem unfinished? For years, I remember seeing the banner outside the Sun Drop Bottling Company with requests for information on the horrendous acts against the sanctity of two lives. Eventually, though there was no resolution or answers, the banner eventually came down. It still felt unsettling when I would drive down Old Concord-Salisbury Road. We all still longed for answers, none more so than their families. Many people chimed in on social media when the case broke in May. So many exclamations of justice served and resolution, because deep down, each of us knows that evil should not have the last word. Is that evidence that we were created by a just Judge?

Stories like these give us cause to celebrate our local law enforcement. But it does not have to end there. We can reflect on God’s sovereignty, that He never forgets, that true justice (His justice) will prevail, and our longing for it is evidence of His design in us (whether we believe in Him or not).

By Ashlie Miller

“Where are you going to college?” That was the default question for my generation and maybe yours upon high school graduation. The follow-up question naturally assumed you had some idea about your life – “What do you plan to study?” Such weighty questions for mere 18-year-olds upon graduating high school.

Over time, with respect given to those entering the trades (I see you, Mike Rowe) or wanting to avoid huge debt, the question has transformed into, “What are your plans after graduation?” and acknowledges other options including community college, the trades, a gap year (or years), the military, and many other once-in-a-lifetime opportunities to do while you’re young.

But everyone, regardless of their chosen vehicle, is still trying to arrive at their destination, even if they are not yet certain where that is. So how can a graduate – or anyone for that matter – be certain they will reach their destination? My oldest son carries a keychain that says, “A man who follows God always gets to where he is going.” Is that an exclusive and perhaps naïve thought?

First, one has to consider the age-old perplexing question of, “What is my purpose?” Devoid of Christ, who can say? Who could define purpose and humanity’s end goal?

With Christ, many know that our chief end (as the catechism states) is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever. In that understanding, God “make[s] known to me the path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore (Psalm 16:11). That is a promise of fulfillment regardless of a gap year or earning a Master’s.

But there are so many ways to go. How can anyone discern the perfect path? Reading God’s Word regularly as a Holy Spirit-indwelt Christian will light our path, even as we walk by faith (see Psalm 119:105). But even with a well-lit path, there are many distractions. How can we find and use wisdom? James 1:5 tells us that God is waiting to generously give us wisdom if we will simply ask.

Why wouldn’t we ask? Because we prefer to handle most things ourselves. Yet Proverbs 3:5-6 (perhaps one of the more familiar Proverbs) tells us to trust in and acknowledge the Lord alone, wholeheartedly, and not rely on our own understanding. The result? God will straighten out our paths. A straight path is much smoother than detours and dubious shortcuts.

Even with all these Divine helps, we are still prone to question our decisions. That is when we can rest in promises found in Psalm 32:23-34 and Proverbs 16:9, which both tell us that though we may make plans for our lives, if we delight in God’s ways, He promises to establish our steps.

These are truths worth remembering ourselves as we journey through life. If you have young family or friends in the class of 2026, perhaps you could share these with them to encourage them as they enter the big, wide unknown.

Ashlie Miller just celebrated the graduation of one of her sons. You can email her at mrs.ashliemiller@gmail.com.

By Ashlie Miller

My latest $2 splurge at a recent yard sale was “The American Patriot’s Almanac: Daily Readings on America.” Written as a “this day in history,” it prompted me to go down online rabbit holes to learn more about Memorial Day.

On April 26, 1866, many gathered in the South to decorate the graves of fallen Confederate soldiers. This date, April 26, marked the surrender of the Confederacy in North Carolina in 1865. Yet, during those commemorations, some Southerners noticed the unadorned, neglected graves of Union soldiers left behind. Some may have been brothers or uncles. Many could have simply been strangers. But all were fellow humans, fellow Americans. This acknowledgment—the sanctity of life even in death—tugged at their heartstrings. These men once belonged to someone. So, they also decorated the graves of their enemies in battle (Union Soldiers), but brothers in humankind.

Can you imagine something like that happening today – recognizing the humanity in someone who varies so vastly from you, even to the point of death? This is not a call to celebrate the difference, but to look past their opposing point of view to see the person.

A few years later, in May 1868, Major General John A. Logan commissioned Decoration Day, calling 5,000 people to gather at Arlington National Cemetery for this day of remembrance. Late May was chosen for the abundance of blooms throughout the North and the South available to bestow upon the graves. General James A. Garfield, who was not yet president, gave a speech that may be worth taking your time to read in full this holiday weekend. A quick Google search will bring it up. I was struck by the following:

“I am oppressed with a sense of the impropriety of uttering words on this occasion. If silence is ever golden, it must be here beside the graves of fifteen thousand men, whose lives were more significant than speech, and whose death was a poem, the music of which can never be sung…We do not know one promise these men made, one pledge they gave, one word they spoke; but we do know they summed up and perfected, by one supreme act, the highest virtues of men and citizens. For love of country they accepted death, and thus resolved all doubts, and made immortal their patriotism and their virtue.”

Being remembered for how one dies, not what one says – we will not likely be asked to pay such a high price. But while many of us work to cultivate a perfect social media post, do we seek to live lives built on action? At the end of the day – the end of our lives – what will matter most is what we did, not what we said.

We would all do well to remember the men “whose death was a poem” this holiday and strive to live lives louder than our words.

Ashlie Miller lives with her family in Concord. You can contact her at mrs.ashliemiller@gmail.com.

By Ashlie Miller

Early Monday morning, I was shocked and saddened to see that an older couple had succumbed to the flames of a house fire in Rowan County just before midnight Sunday. Life taken in such a way is nothing short of tragic.

Yet, later in the day, as reported online by the local paper, I saw the couple’s church – Homestead Baptist – post encouraging scripture and announcing a prayer vigil. My husband and I were honored to serve this family for a couple of years at that church when we were young in ministry over 20 years ago. To call them pillars of their community is an understatement, as many attested at the prayer vigil Monday evening.

What struck me most, in the midst of tears and sorrows, was that there was still talk of God’s goodness. Indeed, the night ended with CeCe Winans’ rendition of The Goodness of God. This church is clearly clinging to the verse they shared –                    1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 – “that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.” 

But what about others?

Being a Christian and a minister’s wife has given me unique opportunities to be by bedsides, in funeral parlors, and in homes of many who grieve. While many profess to know God, not all who profess such things grieve with hope.

Anger is a common response to the death of a loved one; in fact, many recognize it as one of the stages of grief. Even righteous Job in the Bible sat in this stage, believing God to be an unjust tyrant for a season. But while some can still say or will eventually remember that “God is good,” there are many who will live much of their lives believing “God is cruel” for taking a loved one, regardless of age or situation.

In tragic losses, how can we still see God as good and not a cruel tyrant? It may help to begin with questions about the faith system we lean into:

Do my beliefs point to an eternity manipulated by mankind? Does heavenly assurance have more to do with works on my own behalf or prayers said and works done on behalf of another? What if the way I view the scales when my works are weighed is different from my god’s point of view? Could he mercilessly revoke earnings? If so, it would be easy to see why I could believe that God could be cruel.

Do my beliefs reflect confidence in God’s grace and mercy—given through the perfect sacrifice of Jesus and leading to eternal peace—or do they reflect confidence in my own efforts to earn a place there? Do I realize that breath is a gift from God that He gives and can take at His will for His glory? If so, then whatever death befalls me or my loved one may be the result of living in a fallen, sinful world, but the gift available for eternal life reveals a good God.

Next week, the headlines will reflect more tragedies, perhaps one close to you. Once past the shock and natural stages of anger, will you, too, be able to say, “God is good”?

By Ashlie Miller

If this weekend is difficult because Mom is gone, I write this for you:

Imagine writing a letter to Mom who has passed away – it may be pretty raw. For many, Mother’s Day can be a lonely, sad day. Memories of gathering for picnics or brunch, going shopping, or taking a special trip can be replaced by wondering what to do with the Sunday or weekend once Mom is no longer present.

Your mother may have died suddenly, or you may have had a long goodbye. While we may celebrate that our mothers are no longer living with pain, sometimes there is still a pain that lingers inside us. It’s something more than grief of lost things – the person, the relationship, the future memories to be missed. For some, there are things left unsaid, sorrow over past actions, or regrets about what we could not do or prevent.

Maybe your family didn’t say things that should be said, like “I love you,” “I’m proud of you,” “I’m sorry,” or “I forgive you.” There was no great animosity in the relationship; things went well, in general, but there was no real verbal declaration of true love.

Or perhaps, you live with your head down in shame and guilt over the lack of honor given to your mother during a season of rebellion. It may not have even been for most of your relationship, or perhaps it was. Her patience and prayers during your rebellion welcomed you back home, but now that she’s gone, you wish you could go back in time to undo what was done. Wasted years, we may call them.

Some children learn of their mom’s health issues too late in the game. Mom was trying to protect you from hurt, decisions, financial or other obligations. You believe you could have done more if you had known earlier. And you feel guilt, or maybe even anger.

“Does she know how I feel? Does she know I have regrets? Does she know I am sorry?” If we could write a letter to her, maybe it would be filled with things like that. But what would she say? I cannot speak for all mothers, but for the Christian mother, here are two things we know are true:

Firstly, God Himself has wiped away all of Mom’s tears. The sorrows she carried on earth are healed perfectly! (See Revelation 7:17 and 21:4). Have you had seasons where you get past hurt or manage it in the moment? That is only a foretaste of the grace God bestows upon His beloved in eternity – and when He wipes away tears, He does so completely and perfectly.

Secondly, Mom is not remembering any of the former earthly things – any losses, any hurts, but even the wins and gains all fade when before the presence of God (see Isaiah 65:17). That comforts my heart! She is so overwhelmed before her Maker, Savior, and Sustainer that everything pales in comparison. She could not remember even if she wanted to.

On this Mother’s Day weekend, for those without Mom, remember these truths and live in the light of love and forgiveness. If your mom is still here, do the best that you can, considering the relationship, to let her know you love her.

Ashlie Miller’s mom is in heaven, but with five children of her own, Mother’s Day is still sweet. You may email her at mrs.ashliemiller@gmail.com.

By Ashlie Miller

Rarely do we see thorns as a positive thing, though the loveliest roses are accompanied by them. Perhaps it was an adaptation after the Fall to protect the plant. Usually, however, we are not looking to be surrounded by thorns. They prevent our movement and hinder our freedom to explore.

Yet, there are times when thorns are a good thing, and even the hindering of a path proves beneficial. In the book of Hosea (chapter 2, verse 6) in the Bible, God says of Israel (His chosen people), that in their unfaithfulness, He would put up a hedge of thorns as a wall around her. This would keep her from the liberty to pursue other idols that would ultimately be destructive to her.

Maybe you have prayed for a “hedge of protection” around someone you love or your own family as they embark upon an adventure. I usually think of a hedge as a large, square-cut bush to mark off a territory or to provide privacy. In this passage, God puts up a hedge less to block something from getting in but more to prevent His people from chasing after sinful lifestyles.

Have you ever felt this type of intervention? It may look like being laid off or having more month than there is money. Maybe the hardship is being too busy to stop and pursue things for oneself or for leisure. Chronic health issues may hinder undertakings. Could it be that the Lord knows our struggle to cultivate idle time so that it does not become idol time? He mercifully puts up a blockade to keep us safe from such endeavors during seasons of life that need pause for maturing and growing in God’s Word and wisdom.

I enjoy a walk on a well-maintained trail, but at times, we venture onto unmarked trails through the woods. Occasionally, thorns line the paths, and as a courtesy to those behind the leader, we will either call out “Thorns!” or carefully push them aside while the smaller hikers pass through. However, there are times when a walk leads to an area that is not worth exploring further because of the amount of brush and thorns. We might turn aside or even make our way back to clearer paths.

I love this verse in the song, Already Yours by Ordinary Time:

“You are waiting down all these roads,

‘Round every blind corner You can be found.

But when I turn down my own easy path

Will Your thorns reach out to tug

And turn me ‘round?

May Your thorns reach out and tug me around.”

Maybe you are walking down a path where you can’t seem to make progress. There is pain – not the good kind from working muscles that have been in a state of atrophy – but real hurt or harm. There is heartache, guilt, and shame. You are not making gains in life nor seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

Could it be thorns that are trying to pull you back and turn you around? Don’t keep trudging through the thorns. Perhaps they are merciful hands trying to return you to the straight and clear path.

By Ashlie Miller

“God is so good!” my young adult son proclaimed after hearing his father (and pastor) echo something my son and I had discussed just a day earlier. “Did you and Dad talk about this?” he asked. “No, not at all, I suppose God wanted both you and me to remember the lesson,” I replied.

Less than 24 hours before, my son and I were talking about how young adults can have great wisdom that those much older take note of. “You don’t sound like most people your age,” he sometimes hears, in response to his reflections on church, God, and being a Christian. Why is that? Well, he would be the first to tell you he has had the benefit of years of discipleship, even outside the home. You may call it indoctrination, but that does not buffet his experience. He knows how he has, at times, let free will and other influences direct him toward more dangerous indoctrination.

We have learned the value of intentional discipleship. Beyond the wise words of a sage or mentor, in discipleship, there is a sense of accountability, learning, discernment, and allowing questions from someone who loves you about the choices you make.

Sadly, too often in the Church, new life in Christ (whether at a young age or an older one) is celebrated for its vivacity and zeal, yet nothing is done to pour into it further or direct it so it does not become a wildfire.

It makes me think of the importance of pollination with flowers. Flowers are the beauty of spring! They beckon the bees, butterflies, hummingbirds, and many other critters to pollinate. Flowers certainly bring us as humans some measure of joy as they adorn gardens, landscapes, and even hidden coves. Their presence reflects hope and beauty – much needed in the grind of life. But flowers do fade over time.

Imagine an apple orchard in bloom. How intoxicating! For a while, it would be a lovely, ethereal place to visit. Probably some really beautiful photo opportunities. But if the blossoms never transitioned into fruit, what a disappointment – not only to us as consumers, but to the farmers and the ecosystem.

Likewise, the fruit of the Spirit that comes after years of sanctification and growth is meant to benefit the Church and others regularly.  Love, joy, peace, patience, etc., are virtues that develop within us as evidence of the Holy Spirit living within! We were not meant to live as passionate, zealous people who never grow fruit to share with others!

Who has helped or is helping you grow beyond your passion? What effervescent young ones are giving you hope and allowing you to help navigate their energy to lasting fruit?

Ashlie Miller wipes the pollen off her porch table not nearly often enough lately. You can email her at mrs.ashliemiller@gmail.com.

By Ashlie Miller

Reading through Galatians, two words leap off the page – “even Barnabas.” Barnabas is one of the most likable of the many followers of Jesus mentioned in the New Testament. Our first introduction to him in Acts 4 paints him not only as a very generous man but a great encourager – in fact, his name means “Son of Encouragement.” When Saul, former persecutor of the Church, is transformed by the Holy Spirit into Paul, proclaimer of the gospel of Christ, he is met with due skepticism. Barnabas steps in with an open mind, not letting fear of Paul’s past affect his own confidence in the Holy Spirit’s ability to use this new friend and fellow Christ-follower. It is Barnabas who brings Paul to the other apostles in Acts 9 to offer a first-hand account of Paul’s transformation. Acts goes on to show Barnabas as a trustworthy, spirit-filled exhorter (Acts 11).

This disciple is easy to love, which makes the words “even Barnabas” hit like a gut-punch. For context: “But when Cephas (Peter) came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned. For before certain men came from James, he was eating with the Gentiles; but when they came he drew back and separated himself, fearing the circumcision party. And the rest of the Jews acted hypocritically along with him, so that even Barnabas was led astray by their hypocrisy” (Galatians 2:11-13).

“Even Barnabas.” The way Paul confronts his brother in Christ reminds me of the line from the Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar: “Et tu, Brute?” It hits with the same tenor. We have come to know Barnabas so very well, and now we wonder if we know him at all.

What happened? Although the Bible doesn’t fully elaborate on how Barnabas came to follow hypocrisy, I wonder if I can empathize here. He was doing so well in his Christian walk. If we were to make a chart of how to look and live like a Christian, he would be the poster child. Luke, the writer, refers to him as “a good man, and full of the Holy Spirit and of faith.” Barnabas surrounded himself with great followers and leaders, like Peter. I wonder if both Peter and Barnabas struggled with people-pleasing. Before we look at that latter phrase with contempt, let us remember that most of our weaknesses are the backside of the coin of a strength. Even Paul speaks of being all things to all people for the sake of winning some to Christ. But when we seek to please and accommodate people out of fear of how they will respond to us rather than out of an opportunity to win them to Christ, we can become hypocritical.

Perhaps it is the elementary mistake of forgetting the rules of “follow the leader.” In case it’s been a minute since you last played: it has one rule – wait for it – “follow the leader.” Participants line up in a single file, imitating and following the leader as he or she walks or moves. It is a reflection of the leader. Most who lose and get called out are those who have their eyes on someone else in front of them or are distracted by something else outside the game. Winners are those rule followers who keep their eyes on the leader.

Thankfully, I can tell you there is hope in the story. After this moment of confrontation, Barnabas was still found useful for the kingdom and the building of the church. Paul mentioned this brother in Christ in a later letter with affection. Though his death is not mentioned in the Bible, early scholars report that it is likely Barnabas died a martyr’s death, possibly in Cyprus, indicating that he continued his walk of faith. There is hope for us and fellow-believers, too. At some point in our journey, many of us will need to be reminded of the rules of “follow the leader,”and when we are reminded and readjust, we, too, can continue in steadfastness.