By Ashlie Miller

“Goodbye, Bathtub and Living Room. America’s homes are shrinking.” I read these words myself days after my husband mentioned cities like Charlotte are building new, more affordable homes by cutting rooms like dining rooms and living rooms.

It is a trend we have seen over time. Formal dining rooms have been unused for decades. There used to be formal sitting parlors (or at least I have read about them in old literature) for entertaining guests.

While this trend may reflect the economy and lack of space, particularly in the ever-growing region where we live, I hope we do not see a reduction in the purpose these rooms have served over the years.

Hospitality. That is the word that comes to mind when I think of these rooms. Unfortunately, over time, we have seen families spend more time outside the home to spend time socializing rather than hosting within the home to cultivate relationships with others.

In the book of Titus in the Bible, Paul writes to his young friend in ministry first to be on guard of false teachers. In contrasting the church leaders with these false teachers, Paul lists what they should not be like as well as how these leaders should behave. What are these evidences of their faith in Christ? First on the list – to be hospitable. Merriam-Webster defines the word as “given to generous and cordial reception of guests.” In Christian terms, it means loving the stranger, entertaining them, particularly fellow Christians, and sharing the gospel as they pass through.

It is interesting to note that this is first on the list of how elders should behave. The list does not begin with what the world may consider success, which usually is a material, worldly measurement. Hospitality is within the grasp of any person, but especially for the Christian called to love others as himself (found in the Great Commandment in Matthew 22:37-39). Sadly, too many visitors to the church or those with whom we regularly come into contact could say this is a characteristic lacking within both the home and church and, sadly, even in church leadership. While Christian leaders may seem well-qualified in certain areas of success and achievement, our lack of hospitality is blinding. Others cannot see our message due to our lack of generosity and “cordial reception.” How often have we witnessed guests who seemingly enjoy a service or even fellowship only to leave because of a lack of hospitality, genuine kindness, and concern for their well-being?

If the shrinking size of homes is any indicator, we have become more obsessed with entertaining ourselves and being consumers in pursuit of autonomy. Independent. Not needing others to bring fulfillment to our daily routine, nor to encourage them on their journey.

Though our house size may be shrinking, I pray we will further open our homes to entertaining strangers who may one day become friends and family.

But how does one show hospitality if we have not seen it modeled, do not have a lot of resources, or it is not part of our innate personality? Ah, I cannot wait to share more with you of the examples I have seen, the benefits I have received, and the amazing, ordinary people who have helped me cultivate this quality in my life.

Ashlie Miller and her husband, a pastor in SouthEnd Charlotte, seek to cultivate hospitality in their home in Concord, NC. You may contact her at ashliemiller.com .