Why is this Happening to me?

By Rhonda Sassano

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? WHY DOES THIS K E E P HAPPENING TO ME?

We often wonder “Why, Lord, am I going thru this?” The next divine encounter might be the reason why. This is a small example, but maybe you can relate: Last year, Victor had 3 flat tires in less than 14 days. He was like, God, what is going on?!?! He “got real” with the Lord for a minute. Then, when Victor gets into the tow truck, he asks the driver, “How can I help you?” And based on the conversation, Victor shares his testimony with the guy. Later, Victor’s father-in-law also had a conversation with the same guy about the Lord. He didn’t know that Victor had already plowed the ground a bit. And, no. No harvest that day. But seeds went out or hardened dirt was tilled or fertilizer was mixed in. Maybe it was just a little water to promote growth. Either way, the Father has need of your story to draw in the next tow-truck driver. Or the StarBucks barista or customer. Or the impatient bank teller. The careless buggy-collecting teen in the Harris Teeter parking lot. Am I saying you should tell your story to every person you meet? No. I’m saying you need to be WILLING to share it with anyone you meet. Am I saying that the Lord allows us to experience brokenness so someone else can get saved?

Yup. Not usually for that purpose alone, but yes. And you need to get ready.

1 Peter 3:15 “Worship Christ with your life. And be ready to tell anyone who asks about the hope that lies within you.” Sometimes people ask without asking. They’ll broach a subject or tell you something personal, and then they wait for your response. That is STILL asking, even if it isn’t phrased as a question.

You need to be willing to face your area of brokenness and recognize it for what it is: normal. Not embarrassing or showing weakness or sharing TMI or any other lie the enemy wants you to believe. It is NORMAL to be broken. To have addictive behaviors. Don’t misunderstand me here. I am not saying it is ok to engage in addictive behaviors. I’m saying we need to recognize them, understand what area of brokenness we are trying to cope with, and ask the Lord to forgive us for believing the lie there and replace it with His truth instead. (A less offensive term for addictive behaviors is “coping mechanisms.)

You need to understand that God has a purpose for the brokenness He has allowed into your life. He always has a plan. A plan for your GOOD. A plan for your GROWTH. When you really consider all that has happened in your life: the good, bad, ugly, and beautiful, isn’t that exact conglomeration exactly what has perpetuated your closeness to Jesus? Aren’t all the circumstances, challenging, easy, difficult, painful, joyful what brought you to where you are today? Where else might you be except for the Lord intervening in one inconvenient way after another?

Listen. Let me be really real with you right now. It IS very difficult to be transparent. It’s a huge risk to share your story and make yourself vulnerable. It feels like one of those dreams in which you went to school not completely dressed. And you don’t need to have the same level of transparency with every person you meet. But you DO need to admit that you have brokenness. That you are broken. That you have weathered some terrifying storms in your lifetime. Earthquakes, even. And each one of those experiences has changed you. For better or for worser, you are not the same.

When I am getting my heart ready for Sunday, every week, it’s tough. I have to continually submit my will to the Lord. I have to find the courage again to be vulnerable, to let you in to my pain. Every week, in the words I pray before the message, I intentionally lay my heart bare. I remove all the covers from my life. In the prayers I pray, you can see all my struggles. You can hear all my desires. You can gain a sense of my failures and despairings. I hope you realize that all I am, my whole life, is on the altar, but I’m still struggling to be still and trust Him when all I really want to do is crawl away and hide. But you need to know that those prayers are birthed in the secret place where no one is allowed but Jesus. Sometimes, when I start to write out what’s on my heart to say, words are just…too insufficient. So I find a passage or a Psalm that communicates the love I want to feel from Him, the faithful kindness I want to experience, and all those things I’m only believing because I know God’s word is true, not because I’m feeling any of it. So here’s the challenge. Follow me as I follow Christ. Take the risk to recognize the brokenness, recognize the goodness of God in it, and be willing to share it. It could change someone’s life.

Would you spend some time asking the Father for His perspective on the circumstances of your life? Is there something you need to learn, to do, or to change? Ask the Holy Spirit to bring to mind any coping mechanisms that have slipped in. Ask Him to bring into the light any lies you are believing that are perpetuating that coping mechanism. Ask Him to replace it with His truth and set you free. Consider the grace the Father has extended to you. How can we withhold that precious, life-changing grace from others?

If you have the courage, here’s a prayer: Father, I acknowledge my brokenness. And I acknowledge that You have allowed it into my life. Not for my hurt or for my pain, but to draw me closer to You, to push me to seek Your face more than ever before. To honor me with a deeper understanding of Who You are. So I receive all the brokenness from Your hand. I let go of all the blame. I forgive the one who has hurt me the most. You allowed this, all of this, for my good. So I would choose You. Help me now to dig deeper, to discover the well of refreshing, the spring of rejuvenation that is found only in Your presence. Help me hear the lies I speak to myself. Give me courage to believe Your truth and be free of addictive behaviors. I can endure pain without coping. I lean into You. You promised that when I am weak, then I am strong with YOUR strength.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

If you are struggling with depression, anxiety, discouragement, or disappointment, please reach me here: sunnyshade13@gmail.com. I am a certified mental health coach and work with those who are fellow-strugglers to find health and healing through creative experiences and expression.

With joy,

Rhonda