Deadly Regrets

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By Ashlie Miller

Like Aesop’s fables, spring trees and plants tell stories of something worth learning or remembering. Some tales have emerged from folklore tied to Christianity, but I love the symbolism many admirers of creation have developed to share the gospel story. One such tree I only learned about recently is the Judas Tree (the Eastern Redbud). A friend noticed a photo of this tree on my Facebook stories and gave me a short lesson on its legend. Much like the story of the dogwood tree, which reflects the crucifixion of Christ, the Judas Tree reflects the tragic narrative of the one who betrayed Christ. I will let the reader take the time to Google this folklore as it is pretty interesting.

Judas is a tragic being in the Christian narrative. One chosen to follow Christ and, in the end, not only sold the Messiah for temporary treasures but then regretted it to the point of ending his life. Imagine kissing your Teacher, your friend, and also the one whose last point of touch with you was to serve you by washing your dirty feet. His Teacher said, “What you do, do quickly,” almost as if Judas could only do such betrayal issued by the Enemy in haste. Isn’t that always the way with the Enemy? He whispers hurry and haste because he realizes that if we slow down, pause, and consider what we are doing, we will have instant regrets.

After seeking an opportunity to betray Christ (see Matthew 26, Mark 14, Luke 22, and John 13 for reference), after going through the motions of the Last Supper, after kissing the One whom he would betray as a signal that “this is the man,” the weight of sin and wrong upon his heart is worse than that of those 30 coins he throws at the feet of the chief priests and elders. It’s too late. He cannot turn back the clock on the events he set in motion. Regrets. Is it repentance?

Others who are much wiser and more eloquent than I have written on the difference between regretting and repenting, so I will not expound on it here but rather remind the reader. Judas is a picture of one with regrets. His actions are external. They lead to such great sorrow that his only control over the situation is an external, physical fix – returning the money, verbalizing his mistake, and then ending his life tragically. He cannot change the outcome or his future.

How is that different from Peter? Peter may not have betrayed Christ but he denied him. Repeatedly. The one so quick and loud with words and boasts of promised faithfulness to his Rabbi was hiding in the corners when it was crunch time, marring his talk with cursing, distancing himself in the heat of the battle as he warmed by the fire.

But Peter’s battle is internal and emotional, and he is unable to make amends on his efforts. At a final moment with Christ (John 21), we see a private conversation between Peter and the Messiah, one of a repentant spirit that leads to change.

Both men sinned greatly against the One they followed so closely. With one man, efforts made to cover sorrow over a mistake led to tragedy. With the other, a contrite spirit led to freedom, experienced through repentance and forgiveness. No longer living in constant sorrow, a man changed to set the world ablaze with the gospel.

This Holy Week, let us take a walk or drive, notice the Judas Tree, and then ask ourselves, “Am I living a life of regrets I cannot fix? Or am I ready to surrender in repentance and know the freedom found only in forgiveness that will lead to a change in my life?”

Ashlie Miller is a homeschool and co-op teacher and wife of a lead pastor church planter. You may contact her at mrs.ashliemiller@gmail.com.