By Rhonda Sassano
I stopped those words from escaping my mouth just in time. I wanted to use them like a caveman’s club to beat the pulp out of the one speaking to me! I know that seems harsh and probably unnecessarily so, but oh! How disappointing, no, how devastating to hear your best friend say, “I can’t handle your stress…” Stunned, I sank back in my chair as silence filled the space and enveloped us both. My friend didn’t seem to notice the quietness now stilling my mouth and squelching my voice altogether. My thoughts whirled viciously and pummeled my already-aching spirit with ridicule and sarcasm. My spirit crawled into a dusty, neglected corner and wept.
Wow. I thought I already knew what alone felt like. I was wrong. I whispered to myself, “this intense loneliness…it’s just feelings. It will pass. Who needs friends anyway? Aren’t I mature enough by now to know that the Lord is really and truly the only one I can trust? The only one who will never give up on me or leave me without support? I guess I should be grateful for the reminder…”
My friend started a new conversation and I joined in, determined to not allow any noticeable difference in my tone or demeanor. Likely she had no idea the impact of her comment. And obviously, she didn’t need the added stress of hurting me… I reminded myself to take time later to truly forgive her and ask the Holy Spirit to speak truth over any lies trying to take root based on her words. Maybe I’ve been leaning on her too much, I mused. Going to the Father should be my first reaction, not seeking out my friend who has her own troubles and issues… I repented for pouring out my heart to anyone other than my Father. And I set my mind to remember, next time, to allow brokenness to push me to Him. Not to a friend. Not until I hear His heart about the matter. Then, I can share from a place of peace rather than burdensome neediness.
I read an article earlier that talked about a full cup spilling out when it’s bumped or shaken. Whatever is in the cup is what spills out, whether it’s coffee, tea, anger, love , or peace…
Psalm 62 instructs me what to do… “I stand silently to listen for the one I love, waiting as long as it takes for the Lord to rescue me. For God alone has become my Savior. He alone is my safe place; his wraparound presence always protects me. For he is my champion defender; there’s no risk of failure with God. So why would I let worry paralyze me, even when troubles multiply around me? Trust only in God every moment! Tell him all your troubles and pour out your heart-longings to him. Believe me when I tell you—he will help you! (Psalms 62:1-2, 8 TPT)
People aren’t meant to be trusted; even the dearest, closer-than-close friends are not trustable like He is. They all pale in comparison to His faithful, compassionate love and care! He is ALWAYS present, ALWAYS available, ALWAYS listening, ALWAYS everything I need. So what about friends, then? No man is an island, right? Right! But when I am needy, friends get stressed trying to meet my needs, because they simply cannot meet them. And that is by the design of a wonderful Heavenly Father who allows me to be in need so I will seek His face and discover Who He really is…
…and He is exactly every thing I will ever need.
With joy,
Rhonda
P.S. If you find yourself in need of counseling, coaching, or prayer, please reach me at sunnyshade13@gmail.com. I am a certified Mental Health Coach and art therapy practitioner. I’d count it a privilege to hear your heart and offer you hope, healing, and practical help.
“God is not looking for those who can but those who will.”
