By Ashlie Miller

The month has been overshadowed by much tragedy – horrific headlines, violence, and the anniversary of 9/11. The door is widening for conversation among young people in particular, and the door is being pushed open to go back to church. 

I am hearing stories from Christian friends and neighbors of peers and family reaching out to them, asking to read the Bible or to have conversations with them, or even to say yes to visiting their church with them.

Some are hesitant because of past experiences or stories on how churches seem to be closed off and unwelcoming. I cannot speak to each of those testimonies or on behalf of those churches, even as a pastor’s wife myself. It is disheartening to say the least. But we cannot let those stories or even our experiences be the roadblock. There have been plenty of those in recent years. 

After nearly half a decade of checking out physically and only checking in virtually, people are looking to visit church for the first time or get back into actual community. If I were in a position of having to look for a church, here are some things I would consider: 

Expository preaching. In a world that continually extracts sound bites to post on our favorite platform, we know how drawn we are to sensational statements or parts of phrases to boost our case, or in the case of our heart, justify our actions. When studying larger passages, we can learn original intent, and what we observe about God and His character, humanity, sin, promises, and much more. I need more than a sermon that makes me walk away feeling good about myself; I need truth that is not going to be twisted based on who is using it. 

Pastors who see the kingdom of God beyond their facility and position. I would want a pastor who has encouraging connections with other churches and ministries, celebrating their work. Look how he disciples and equips his leadership team. What are the marks of kingdom work like: evangelism, international and domestic missions, and connecting with neighbors?

Fewer programs and more equipping. Before asking for suggestions of a church to visit and then requesting specific programs, consider reframing that to: How is the church equipping the congregation? Is it a community of hospitality? How are people being discipled toward growth, encouragement, and accountability? Do they excel in entertaining or equipping?

Reevaluating my preferences. If a church lacks a program I desire (children and youth ministry seem to rank as the top request, followed by lively music), what is it that they are really doing well? What are they investing in instead? How could God use a church quite different from what I want to cultivate maturity in my life?

And give each church a fair chance. It is amazing how we will subject ourselves to abuse of miserable service and experiences in almost any other area of life except the one that matters most. That is very telling, isn’t it?

Ashlie Miller is a pastor’s wife of a church plant in the University City area. You may contact her at mrs.ashliemiller@gmail.com.