By Ashlie Miller
My latest $2 splurge at a recent yard sale was “The American Patriot’s Almanac: Daily Readings on America.” Written as a “this day in history,” it prompted me to go down online rabbit holes to learn more about Memorial Day.
On April 26, 1866, many gathered in the South to decorate the graves of fallen Confederate soldiers. This date, April 26, marked the surrender of the Confederacy in North Carolina in 1865. Yet, during those commemorations, some Southerners noticed the unadorned, neglected graves of Union soldiers left behind. Some may have been brothers or uncles. Many could have simply been strangers. But all were fellow humans, fellow Americans. This acknowledgment—the sanctity of life even in death—tugged at their heartstrings. These men once belonged to someone. So, they also decorated the graves of their enemies in battle (Union Soldiers), but brothers in humankind.
Can you imagine something like that happening today – recognizing the humanity in someone who varies so vastly from you, even to the point of death? This is not a call to celebrate the difference, but to look past their opposing point of view to see the person.
A few years later, in May 1868, Major General John A. Logan commissioned Decoration Day, calling 5,000 people to gather at Arlington National Cemetery for this day of remembrance. Late May was chosen for the abundance of blooms throughout the North and the South available to bestow upon the graves. General James A. Garfield, who was not yet president, gave a speech that may be worth taking your time to read in full this holiday weekend. A quick Google search will bring it up. I was struck by the following:
“I am oppressed with a sense of the impropriety of uttering words on this occasion. If silence is ever golden, it must be here beside the graves of fifteen thousand men, whose lives were more significant than speech, and whose death was a poem, the music of which can never be sung…We do not know one promise these men made, one pledge they gave, one word they spoke; but we do know they summed up and perfected, by one supreme act, the highest virtues of men and citizens. For love of country they accepted death, and thus resolved all doubts, and made immortal their patriotism and their virtue.”
Being remembered for how one dies, not what one says – we will not likely be asked to pay such a high price. But while many of us work to cultivate a perfect social media post, do we seek to live lives built on action? At the end of the day – the end of our lives – what will matter most is what we did, not what we said.
We would all do well to remember the men “whose death was a poem” this holiday and strive to live lives louder than our words.
Ashlie Miller lives with her family in Concord. You can contact her at mrs.ashliemiller@gmail.com.
