Criticism Hurts

by   November 13, 2023 with No Comments

By Ann Farabee

Clearly, it was not said to encourage. The young student looked at me and asked this question, “Why are you so fat?” I was pregnant at the time, so I had an excuse. Not that I needed one.

A sixth-grade boy was speaking to a sixth-grade girl: “Why are you wearing that ugly bow in your hair?” Negative attention had been brought to something the young girl had considered to be beautiful, but no amount of compliments would be enough to reel her in from the embarrassment and hurt she felt from that one comment. A bow carefully placed in her hair that morning may have felt beautiful, but one negative remark took that feeling away.

Negative comments. The damage can be irreversible. The child or adult can back away, try to blend in, laugh it off or use any conceivable method of dealing with it, but the truth is criticism hurts. Sometimes it hurts forever.

I have seen children not want to go to school or not want to go home because of it.

I have seen teenagers not want to go to church because of it.

I have seen adults become so offended that they shut down because of it.

Do our negative thoughts always have to be said aloud? Can we not just keep them in our minds and not let them slip out of our mouths?

The word criticism is defined as expressing disapproval or speaking negatively about someone or something. More simply stated, criticism is saying something bad about someone or something.

Without the help of the Holy Spirit, we can be masters of negativity and criticism.

A child was sitting alongside her father during a teacher conference. The parent saw one grade on the report card he did not like, and yelled at his daughter, “What’s wrong with you?”

She and I looked at each other, and as I saw tears forming in her eyes, I think she saw the grief forming in mine.

What a waste of a parenting opportunity to show love and support to their child.

It was all I could do to hold in these words to the parent, “What’s wrong with you?”

James 4:11 says, “Do not speak evil against one another.”

Psalm 19:14 says, “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, Lord.”

There are times when difficult conversations must take place, but with God’s Word to guide us, even those conversations can be held without criticism and with words spoken in love.

Most of the time, hurtful words could have — and should have — been left unsaid.

One year, as my fourth-grade students were preparing for the state writing test, we took a list of words we did not need to use repetitively to the playground, where we buried them. The next school year, a new school building had been built on top of our list, so I suppose those words are buried forever.

Maybe we should bury all those critical words we tend to use?

Maybe we should bury them in such a deep place that they are no longer accessible?

Maybe we can find better words to use instead?

Lord, may our words and the meditation of our hearts be acceptable in your sight. Amen

Ann Farabee is a teacher, writer and speaker. Contact her at annfarabee@gmail.com or annfarabee.com.

Counting Blessings Instead of Sheep

by   November 12, 2023 with No Comments

By Ashlie Miller

“It feels like 11 p.m., and it’s only 6 p.m.!” Several nights this week, children have found me wrapped in a blanket (with the a/c on because it is unseasonably warm, even for NC) and snuggled in my bed, anticipating bedtime. Yes, standard time can hit us hard. Falling asleep is not always the problem; waking at 5:00 a.m. is the conundrum – ask any young mom of toddlers and infants. I have more difficulty shutting off my brain to fall asleep as I age, so I occasionally pop a natural sleep aid like melatonin. On other late nights, I wake up with a random thought like – “What was the next line to the song I learned in 2nd grade?” – which prevents the completeness of a good REM cycle. Unfortunately, when that hits at 3 a.m., it is not a good time for a melatonin rescue.

These are times when remembering things I am grateful for can be helpful. For those who are already deep in their Christmas movie watching, a song from “White Christmas” comes to mind:

“When I’m worried, and I can’t sleep

I count my blessings instead of sheep

And I fall asleep counting my blessings

When my bankroll is getting small

I think of when I had none at all

And I fall asleep counting my blessings.”

What does the Bible say about how to rest and have peace?

Psalm 116:7 – “Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.”

Proverbs 17:22 – “A joyful heart is good medicine.”

Proverbs 15:13 – “A glad heart makes a cheerful face.”

Recalling God’s bounty with praise and contentment brings gladness and rest!

Isn’t it something that our Creator enabled us to have a memory? Why is that? While some may say it is a natural instinct developed for survival with disregard to a Higher Being engaged with our life, why do we remember more than places to find provision? Why do we feel grateful to someone for things and experiences? Why do we express (or at least SHOULD express) thankfulness? Food for thought.

I can thank my Father for giving me a mind to remember. I can then be grateful for a heart that wants to express thanks rather than having a sense of deserved entitlement. Next, I can regularly utter thankfulness audibly as outward praise and inwardly as that never-ceasing prayer – because prayer is not always an ask but also a language of thanks.

Is your heart troubled this season? Does it struggle to find rest? Foster a spirit of gratitude through prayer and praise. May you fall asleep counting your blessings!

Ashlie Miller is thankful for so much in her journey of life with her husband Chad and their five children in Concord, NC.

It Requires Faith

by   November 11, 2023 with No Comments

By Doug Creamer

It Requires Faith

            Some people say that having faith is easy or it’s a crutch for the weak. They don’t understand what is required if you want to be a follower of Jesus. It requires surrendering your will for God’s will. I have never met a person who found it easy to give up his or her own will to be obedient to God’s. In my experience, I have found that God requires me to have faith, to believe and trust in Him for everything.

            Faith in God is built on having a relationship with Him. Relationships require communication to be successful. I have to believe that God listens to my prayers and acts upon them. He’s not like Santa Claus granting things on my wish list. But I do believe that because I have a relationship with Him, my prayers carry weight in heaven. If we don’t believe that, then why do we pray?

            This is why I firmly believe that prayer changes circumstances. When the people of God pray it can change the outcome of specific events. No, I do not believe prayer will help one sports team win over another, but I do believe that God will step in because people have prayed for His intervention. I hope this encourages you to pray as you consider your influence through prayer in the circumstances of your life.

            I have been reading in the Old Testament lately and I have read story after story where God put the people of Israel in impossible situations. They might be outnumbered in battle. They might be out of food or water. They might be broke. Time and time again the people were in trouble and hanging on by a thread. That’s when God would intervene. He would wait until the circumstances looked dire and then He would move, proving His love and faithfulness.

            I think God works this way so we can build our faith and trust in Him. He wants us to know that He is watching out for us and that He cares about us. He wants us to know that He will meet our needs. He allows the dark clouds to build and the winds to blow so we will turn our hearts toward Him. He will demonstrate His love and faithfulness to us. He will protect us and be with us through our circumstances.

            My pastor recently shared a story of a time when God allowed his family to be in a very tight place financially. God was testing them to see if they would trust Him. They did, and God came through for them in a big way. It reminded me of my own financial tight spot at the beginning of this year. I couldn’t imagine how it would work out, but God came through for us in a big way too. He is always faithful if we will trust Him.

After reflecting on these stories, I think it would be a good idea to keep a journal of the many ways God comes through for us. Maybe He has healed you. Maybe He has restored a broken relationship. Maybe He has done a miracle in your finances, too. These stories create testimonies of God’s faithfulness. We could read them when we are faced with new challenges and remind ourselves how He came through in the past for us. It would build our faith and trust in Him for our current situations.

            I believe God allows challenging situations to come our way because He wants to prove Himself to us over and over again. If we never faced any difficult situations, why would we need God? Challenging situations require us to stir up our faith. In the Psalms you can see David is facing unbeatable odds, but then he reminds himself of God’s faithfulness. It’s important to remember God’s faithfulness so we can trust Him in our current troubles. He promises to see us through. There is no situation that is bigger than God. When Peter took his eyes off Jesus he sank into the waves. Let’s keep our eyes on Jesus and trust Him.

            I want to encourage you to stir your faith in God and to trust Him with everything. The Bible says it is impossible to please God without faith. God wants to see our faith and He wants to see our faith grow. Remember that God has been faithful in the past and you can trust Him with today’s troubles and with the future. No matter how difficult your circumstances might look at this moment, don’t forget there is nothing impossible with God.

Contact Doug Creamer at PO Box 777, Faith, NC 28041or doug@dougcreamer.com

Teacher, Coach, Friend

by   November 10, 2023 with No Comments

By Roger Barbee

Although I went to Saint Stephen’s School for Boys in 1976 to teach English and coach wrestling,  I also became a student of several veteran educators in the school, but especially Jim Osuna.

A teacher, the dean of discipline, and coach of cross country and track, Jim Osuna taught young men by demanding that each of them arrive on time, be fully prepared, and perform at their best. He coached in an all-boys’ school where other sports were revered, but he developed IAC champions in cross country and track and field. He modernized the old asphalt track and founded the Draper Invitational Track Meet that had as its stellar race the steeplechase, an unusual event for high schools.  In those days if you came to a track practice you may have seen him driving his red Karma Gia down the track straightaway with a runner frantically holding onto the T-bar that he had fashioned to its rear bumper. In this way he trained the runner to “stretch his legs”  and realize that he could take three steps between those imposing high hurdles.

Jim built confidence in his runners. At an IAC track and field championship held at Bullis School in the late 1970’s I was shocked to see our star two-mile runner,. Greg, to immediately break away from his main competitors from Georgetown Prep in the championship race. Running to Jim, I told him our runner needed to be slowed, but he just said, “It’s okay, we know what we are doing.” Unknown to me, Jim had convinced Greg that he was so well-trained and disciplined that he could sprint out early and break contact with the two runners from Prep. He did and before anyone could react, he was too far ahead to be caught. That two-mile championship was an early example for me of  Jim’s skill at training a boy’s body and mind.

When I asked Jim why the classrooms in the upper school had slate blackboards on three of their  walls, he told me how he and other teachers used them for a week’s lesson. His three boards were covered with information for a week. Those boards, with their different colored chalk lessons, were the precursor of copy machines, and every student of his quickly learned the discipline demanded for the classes’ required notebook. In his required exactness for the history notebook, Jim taught his students the discipline needed for scholarship showing them that they could succeed.

Walking around Jim’s classroom, you would have seen many objects concerned with his world history class. In his youth he had travelled the Nile River Valley on a red Harley Davidson motorcycle and had many examples of ancient civilizations displayed. One object was a stone with Sanskrit carved into it. That is fitting because not only was it a history lesson for his students, but it was also a language that may give us our word mentor. While the Ancient Greek in the Odyssey gives us the trusted adviser of young Telemachus, Mentor, the Sanskrit gives us “man-tar” which means “one who thinks.”

For various reasons,  many of us went to Saint Stephens School for Boys. I went as a teacher and coach, but because of my encounter with Jim Osuna, I gained a mentor, “one who thinks”, and an educator to whom I am indebted to and grateful for.

The Mississippi River Ride is now Complete

by   November 9, 2023 with No Comments

By David Freeze

In August of 2022, I planned the Mississippi River final day’s ride from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, on to New Orleans. Without any real concerns, I had heard about a chance of showers in the afternoon with some heavy thunderstorms in the area. The ride was just over 80 miles and there were no real hills. I even expected to finish with some time to walk around the city.

I started early, as usual. The roads were often in poor repair and had lots of metal in the form of screws, nails, wire and lots of glass. All are big concerns to a cyclist. The rain came early in the afternoon with big winds and heavy downpours. Just afterwards, I had the first flat tire of the whole trip just over halfway to New Orleans. Then I had two more and all my tubes were used up. Darkness wasn’t far away. Very fortunate to have an option, I called David Bourg, a resident of nearby Paulina who I had just met when he stopped to help on the last tube replacement. David drove me into the city, a round trip of over 80 miles for him. All he wanted was for me to pay it forward! I did not complete what amounted to 36 miles on the bicycle along the river. I had a train to catch to Salisbury so finishing this had been on my mind for the better part of 15 months.

I envisioned 3-4 days to fix this. I included cycling north of Laplace to a Marathon convenience store, exactly where David picked me up after the final flat. Then most of another day to ride on into New Orleans to Jackson Square to complete the ride with several photos to prove it. And I wanted to visit David and Lynne Bourg, especially after their invitation to stay with them. David is an engineer for Valero’s refinery in Norco, very near to LaPlace.

My drive to LaPlace got off to a slow start on Friday, Oct. 20, due to wind, rain and hail in China Grove and interstate slowdowns due to several major wrecks in the area. I left just after 4 p.m. and only made 100 miles in the first three hours, but then the pace picked up. I slept a few hours in two different rest areas and arrived just past noon on Saturday after changing to the Central Time Zone. I quickly rode to the Marathon store, had the same grumpy cashier from a year ago, and returned to Laplace. Fourteen miles done and two photos taken!

With a room at the Days Inn, I ran in the dark on Sunday morning, then hopped on the bike during one of the heaviest fogs I have ever experienced. My red light was working, and I had plenty of shoulder to ride on. With not a real hill in sight, I rode south into the gradually lifting fog. Choices of riding on the levee into New Orleans to avoid the city, or not, were on my mind. I decided to take the city head-on.

Following my old friend, U.S. Highway 61, I went straight into the city where 61 is also called Tulane Avenue. I made a few turns to ride through the French Quarter. Jammed with people and too many cars, I tried to follow what was supposed to be a bike lane. Cars were just parked on top of it, and nobody seemed to follow traffic lights or signs prohibiting turns. Lots of people who appeared just a tad odd were on display.

I rode right up to extremely crowded Jackson Square, what I consider the center of town. The Mississippi is beautiful here, the steamboats are moored nearby with street performers and vendors everywhere. Horse drawn carriages and beignets are close also. I took an hour to watch the river with a few massive ships and plenty of smaller vessels going by. I saw two steamboats depart on their tours. Most remarkable was a military jet flyover to commemorate my ride completion!

The ride back over the same road was uneventful, except for the first time I saw all the massive refineries along the river without fog or darkness. One after another. They are even more spectacular when seen at night, with all the lights and a few fires burning from smokestacks.

I visited David and Lynne, had some wonderful ice cream and fought a few mosquitoes, before leaving at almost dark. We had recapped our meeting the year before and how much he helped me out of a tight spot. They hope to vacation in North Carolina.

My drive home was anything but uneventful, I suddenly lost power in my truck just north of Montgomery, Alabama. A part called a MAF sensor went bad and got me a wonderful AAA ride on Brian Martin’s rollback and excellent service at Son’s Ford in Auburn. Alabama. The part arrived the next day, and with Veronica in customer service’s help, I was on the road again by noon. I did get to run through Auburn University and saw the spectacular football stadium.

Friday night through Tuesday night, 1,551 driving miles, two time zones and 74 cycling miles all needed to complete the Mississippi River. I wouldn’t have missed a minute of it! Thanks for riding along, once again! I am already wondering what’s next.

It’s Time

by   November 8, 2023 with No Comments

By Ed Traut

Isaiah 60:1-2 “Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you. See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the LORD rises upon you and his glory appears over you.

  • God has destined His people to be a light to the world.
  • We ought to let our light become brighter and shine even though the world has become more dark and seemingly totally ‘crazy’.
  • The Lord is rising upon us let us follow after Him and allow Him to function through us.

Prayer:  Lord I yield myself to You today and give myself that You may cause Your glory to shine through me to other people and my light will shine and I will be a blessing of life to others I pray in Jesus name.  Amen.

Ed Traut
Prophetic Life

The Cure

by   November 7, 2023 with No Comments

By Lynna Clark

My friend Ann called with an idea. She knows how much I hurt. Apparently she is trying cherry yogurt and it is really helping with her aches and pains. I thought on it while she extolled the virtues. While she explained I went over the list of no-no’s. Through the years, like fifty plus, I’ve tried all the cures. Apple cider vinegar and honey made into a tasty drink three times a day. That one has come and gone throughout the years. In fact, one of our daughters, who’s identity shall not be revealed,  came out rather hairy. I couldn’t help but wonder…

I’ve tried extreme doses of pycnogenol, the extract of grape seeds. No deal. Long before gluten free became a thing, we tried that. Of course sugar was eliminated long enough to make me grumpy, but still in pain. We removed night-shades from our diet. That includes tomatoes, peppers, white potatoes, and eggplant. Okay, so the eggplant removal didn’t cause a lot of anguish. But tomatoes? I love lasagna, spaghetti, and meatloaf… with a side of mashed potatoes. So David, the cook in the house, bless his heart, tried to substitute beets for tomatoes. He made a thick hearty sauce with lots and lots of herbs out of canned beets. Not pickled. That would just be weird. It was pretty good… except our noodles turned pink. Instead of potatoes, he boiled radishes and tried to make them similar to new potatoes. With lots and lots of butter. And guess what. They tasted just like warm radishes. But we kept at it for months. I declare the man has tried everything. And I just keep on hurting. Heavy sigh.

You’re probably right. It’s obviously all the sin in my life. And a great deficiency of faith. Don’t laugh. It’s been suggested… and considered many, many times. Insert whiny voice here. So when my bestie suggested cherry yogurt, my ears perked up. This I could do. I’d have to make sure it doesn’t contain red dye, or artificial sweetener of any kind, and hope it included yogurt made from the milk of happy cows. Will I eat it or slather it on my body?

Then the word Y caught my ear. As-in YMCA. Apparently the woman is trying chair yoga. Dang.

All this time I thought we’d landed on the cure. Not something involving stretching… in a chair, like exercise. The closest thing to that I can get is when I do a fast waddle on the way to the bathroom. Of course that happens often enough to count as a workout. Not to mention the lowering of the posterior onto the… chair. AND unlike chair yoga, this is a 24/7 activity so there’s that. And all this time I thought the cure was out of my reach! Now I know that I just need to keep doing what I’m doing.

And maybe get my hearing checked.

Grace is Amazing

by   November 6, 2023 with No Comments

By Ann Farabee

His name was John.

His mother died when he was seven. Spiritual training stopped.

His father was very strict. They had no real relationship.

He had to stop going to school, so he could work with his father — at sea. When he was 19, his father felt he needed more discipline, and forced him into the Royal Navy, which thrived on severe discipline. He tried to escape, was found, was chained in irons — and received 96 lashes. He was a slave and a slave trader. It was a low point in his life where he described himself as a wretched-looking man.

Then came the night that changed everything.

A tumultuous storm arose at sea. The ship had begun to sink. He fearfully watched as someone was swept overboard. As he held on tightly, he began to remember Bible verses about grace — that he had learned from his mother.

He prayed for the first time in years.

The storm weakened.

The ship steadied.

He referred to it as the hour he first believed.

That hour he first believed, some words began to form in his mind — the words to a song he would write — Amazing Grace.

Can you envision those words being poured into his spirit that night? How he must have kept repeating them over and over in his mind? He surely felt strong emotion over the power in the words. For they were his story — a story of grace.

The first part of John’s life story was filled with dangers, toils and snares. The last part of his story was about grace that would lead him home. Even though he dealt with blindness in his later years, he turned his life upside down for Christ, as he became a loving husband, adoptive father, minister, abolitionist, published author and a song writer.

He never could have imagined that 250 years later those words would also be sung as our story of grace, reminding us of who God is — and who we are — through Christ.

Amazing grace how sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost — but now am found

Was blind but now I see.

Twas grace that taught my heart to fear

And grace my fears relieved

How precious did that grace appear

The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils, and snares

I have already come.

Tis grace that brought me safe thus far

And grace will lead me home.

Mr. John Newton, thank you for writing these words.

God sure did use a ‘wretch’ like you.

Amazing grace.

The sound of it is so sweet.

Can you hear it?

Ann Farabee is a teacher, writer and speaker. Contact her at  annfarabee@gmail.com or annfarabee.com.

Between the Skeletons and the Trees

by   November 5, 2023 with No Comments

By Ashlie Miller

This year, many lawn adornments for Halloween were larger than life and maybe larger than death. November 1, many cleared out the skeletons and made way for Christmas, perhaps mixing a few pumpkins in with their nutcrackers.

During 2020, there was such a longing for Christmas in our household that I broke our tradition of waiting until after Thanksgiving and put up some decor earlier than usual. We all needed a sense of hope that year. I am no Scrooge. As you may recall, we incorporate Christmas in July to help us press on for the year. 

How quickly we can change gears from an ominous celebration of death to one of cheer. Instead of being a season of cheer, however, Christmas can be a time of dreary loneliness and dissatisfaction that can leave us feeling empty.

How can we be full as we enter? Although Thanksgiving is not a Church holiday, I see a Divine placement for us in the busy West – a moment to pause and to praise, to reflect and express gratitude. Why have we, as a nation who initiated this celebration, seemingly drifted from its original intent? Other than looking forward to a huge feast, how many of us take time to wonder at God’s provision and presence?

From a grateful heart, a busy season becomes a cheerful season as we seek to pour out goodness on others, filling our calendars with people more than mere things to do, see, or buy. December will ask me to give much of myself – not just financially but mostly my time and attention. The month can drain even a full sponge, but being filled to the brim is a good place to start. Those filled with gratitude are springs of life, equipped to navigate busy seasons with grace and joy. 

What does the Bible say about a heart of gratitude?

A guarded heart will be a wellspring of life (Proverbs 4:23), bursting forth with a mouth that can speak life (Luke 6:45).

If we overflow with words like that, they can be healing words in a rough season for others (Proverbs 16:24).

Gratitude helps us navigate through any season (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

It makes beautiful experiences (like experiencing God’s presence) even more joyful! (Psalm 95 and 150, for starters).

By all means, put the skeletons back in the closet (or in the storage shed you had to rent to keep those massive ones) and start putting up the tree, but please, please don’t do a disservice to yourself and others by skipping over a pause for praise in November. Love others enough to want to share healing words, yourself enough to want to be full of joy and contentment, and God enough to give Him the gratitude He is due. Maybe start with thinking of one thing to be grateful for each day.

Ashlie Miller adorns her door this month with a harvest wreath circling the verse Psalm 118:1. Her pastor is her husband (Chad), and they parent five children in Concord. 

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