Lynna Clark

By Lynna Clark

I love my little town. Salisbury, NC has so much going for it. Sure, that includes some crazy but don’t you think every family has a touch of crazy? It keeps things interesting. Sometimes folks refer to us as “Smallsbury” in a derogatory fashion. That’s okay. I think small is a good thing. In fact, someday when I write my book I might just title it that. Smallsbury, USA.

Many neighborhoods still exist here where we look out for one another. The other day I was standing at the kitchen window when I noticed a cop car slowing down. It proceeded to pull into my mom-in-law’s driveway. My heart just stopped. I alerted David so we both moved to the front window and peered through the curtains like Gladys Kravitz on Bewitched. What is going on across the road?!!

We checked our cell phones to make sure we hadn’t missed a call. As we watched to see what was afoot, David grabbed his shoes so he could run interference between the police and his eighty-nine year old mother. Not that we needed to warn her in case she was smoking pot or something. We just wanted to be there if she was going to be arrested while “Bad Boys, Bad Boys” played in the background.

However, before David could get his shoes on all fear was gone. The policeman turned out to be our nephew. Since he was in town for court, he decided to stop by his grandmother’s house to check on her. Then every cop’s worst nightmare happened. His grandmother sent him across the street to our house with a box of doughnuts. Talk about stereotypes. Bless his heart. 

This would not be Nina’s first brush with the law. She was driving home from serving Meals on Wheels one night years ago, when she made a right turn beside a vehicle which was stopped for a light. Since there was no turning lane, the police pulled her over. When asked for her license she realized her purse was locked in the trunk. Exiting the vehicle into a night filled with flashing blue lights, there she was, guilty before God and everybody. As she opened the trunk she was sure that all who passed thought she’d been busted for drugs. Nervously she retrieved her purse. Suddenly matters got even worse. Dropping her pocketbook, as we say in the South, she watched as the contents spilled across the pavement. No telling how many tubes of lipstick rolled into the gutter that night. As she stood there mortified, two nice policemen chased down the contents. Her lifetime motto has always been, “Lipstick makes everything better.” That night might have been the one exception.

As you know, things aren’t always as they seem. The policeman knocking on her door was not there to interrogate. The cop carrying doughnuts across the road was just doing his grandmother a favor. And the lady in the blue light was not being busted for drugs. In Salisbury though, we already knew that. Word travels fast here because we’re all standing at our windows, peering out checking on our neighbors. I especially love that small town living includes policemen who love their grandmothers, deliver doughnuts, and chase lipstick for nervous women.

God bless Smallsbury!

*Special thanks to my beloved nephew Jason Hinson who allowed me to take his picture while in uniform holding a box of Krispy Kreme. What a man!

By Lynna Clark

My mother-in-law has the best humor. She is also very determined. Once she gets an idea in her head there is no talking her out of it. She lives across the street from us and last month she had gravel, or “crush ’n run,” delivered to her driveway. It’s something she’s done for fifty plus years. The truck comes, dumps a big ol’ pile of rock and she is as happy as if she has good sense.

We knew this had become a current priority because she had mentioned it to us several times. “Get ready! Gravel is coming!” she would say.  For my husband, [her son] that was like saying, “Just so you know, the gates of hell are about to open.” Her idea of a good day is hauling gravel by the wheel barrow load to its designated spot after shoveling it into her wheel barrow. But before the gravel comes, it is important to dig out under the carport so ground level is not too high. Then you have to wet everything down real good so it packs tight. It’s a very important process.

After mentioning her plan several times, and how important is was to get some crush ‘n run, because she had not had any delivered in about thirteen years, her son said, “So mama, how are you going to get the gravel spread?” She replied with a head wag, “I will spread it myself!” Son says, “Mama, the last time you did this you were young, like still in your seventies. Can we figure out a different way to do this? I’m not as young as you are.” For he knew he would not be sitting across the street watching his eighty five year old mom haul gravel.

Finally, after numerous conversations like this, she mentioned to one of her daughters her plan.  Her firstborn replied, “If I hear tell of you shoveling gravel, I will make a speed bump out of you.” This is her calm daughter. Usually we depend on the younger daughter to take care of such issues. But this time offspring number one made her opinion clear in no uncertain terms.

When mom-in-law called to tell me to watch her driveway for speed bumps, I told her to make sure to lay down parallel to the drive instead of crosswise; and if she didn’t mind, to position herself in the middle of the drive so she wouldn’t create too much trouble for us to get in and out.

Not to be outdone by all the instructions from well-meaning children, she asked before she was made into a speed bump, if she could at least roll up and down the drive. That way, she reasoned, the gravel would be packed down so tight it would resemble concrete.

I love her humor. I love how sharp she is. I love how everyone has her best interest at heart and how we all instruct her, even though she really does know everything. Seriously. She has been through so much life, that there isn’t much she does not know. Oh to be that sharp and fun at eighty-five!

I heard the beep, beep, beep, as a gravel truck backed into her drive. It deposited two huge piles of the coveted crush ‘n run. Shortly after, a grandson with a blade pulled up and leveled the drive. Mom had previously, probably under cloak of night, dug out under the carport to the desired depth.  A hard rain began to fall as the grandson finished spreading the crush ‘n run. The driveway is leveled and packed. Later mom waters the gravel under the carport to her heart’s content. No mothers or offspring were harmed in this production. All is well in her corner of the world. Now if we can just figure out how to keep her out of the creek.  Because you know, that when the rocks get moved around, water gets still and mosquitoes breed, and… the saga continues…

The Firstborn, Jo, Nina, and the Middle Child, Gail

By Lynna Clark

I have a framed sign in my house that I love. It has held true for many years. Come to think of it, I probably should dust that thing. I love it even more especially now. It simply says, “He is faithful in every season.”

Nearly everything in my life changed the day I lost David. No longer do I hang the stockings while thinking of how to get the Zero candy bars he loved so much. In fact, for the first time ever, there was no reason to hang stockings. He sure isn’t out hunting down all the chocolate covered pretzels he can find for me. Last year I found the last bag in the pantry in April. Praise God for airtight packaging! What a treat. I even shared them with him though his appetite was already failing.

Thankfully we stopped putting up a Christmas tree several years back. We decided long ago we’d need that space for people instead. Last Christmas he bought me an obelisk; a pretty wooden pyramid structure that fits well in the flowerbed by the door. The kids twisted bright colored bulbs around it and it works just fine in lieu of a tree. And David used to grill steaks on Christmas Eve for the whole family. This year Shane is smoking pork in his new smoker. Just another sign of the new season. David also used to make a foot tub of Scrabble as his mother would say. I found his recipe for Chex Mix the other day and hope to do the same. But there’s no way it will be as good as his. He’d also make white chocolate clusters with pretzels then give me the speech about how he couldn’t get real white chocolate anymore, only the candy coating. Our Christmas experience was always enhanced by the speech. I won’t hear it this year, but it’s okay. I’ve got it memorized. His other Christmas speech involved something about not touching my gifts from him until Christmas morning. I’ve got it memorized too but this year it doesn’t apply.

The point is I’m in a new season. It truly feels like everything has changed. I’ve never in my life lived alone. It’s so weird. I think of things I need to ask him, then realize… he’s not here to tell me the guy’s name who does the Salsa in the endzone. I wonder about our year-end offering that we used to pray about and always, without fail, came up with the same number. I reach for him at night, but he is not there. The light I left on for him in the bathroom stays on all night just so I feel like he’ll be to bed soon. Everything has changed.

Except this.

The Lord is faithful in every season. As the old hymn says, “Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not. Great is Thy faithfulness!” His mercies are new every single morning. For many years I’ve enjoyed the fact that the Lord gives so abundantly. Now He has taken away. Dare I say it? Yes I will. For He is ALWAYS faithful!

“He gives and takes away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord.”

PS: If you are grieving this Christmas, try reading A Decembered Grief by Harold Ivan Smith. My kind friend Karen gave me a copy and it has been such a help. Also, the verses I quoted above are found in Lamentations 3:23, Hebrews 13:8, and Job 1:21. The angels called Him Emmanuel, because He is with us, no matter how alone we feel.

By Lynna Clark

Did you have a good Thanksgiving? I sure hope so. For me it was bittersweet without my Beloved. David was always the main cook and the rest of us just contributed a side dish or dessert. This year all three of our daughters were able to be here with their husbands, plus three of our grandkids. To say the house was full is surely an understatement. Apparently everyone thought there wouldn’t be enough to eat, so each cook prepared extra. The guys fried two turkeys, because why not? When we surveyed the crowd ahead of time, pumpkin pie was named as the favorite dessert. So of course I made four. Then Stephanie and Shane tried out new dessert recipes so we’d have a little variety. She made a fabulous black bottom coconut pie while Shane concocted an apple cake with a cheesecake topping. Oh! And Sweetie Marie, granddaughter number three made brownies with a fudge icing. The problem was finding a place to put everything. Did I mention I have a very small house? Not tiny like the trendy kind. But the kind where the laundry room was the only place left to put desserts. The washer and dryer never looked so good! Of course the other daughters filled in with potatoes and dressing and veggies oh my! Black Friday was spent seeing my oldest daughter and her husband off on their fourteen hour journey back to Illinois; then emptying the dishwasher and well… finding things. Considering the house was packed a day earlier with so many people it was hard to find a place to land half a butt cheek, things were surprisingly tidy afterwards. I did have to take out a search for an oven rack. I have no idea how it got there but hey. Who cares! The back deck worked just fine for an oven rack with no where else to go. Family gathered, food was enjoyed, and a good time was had by all. I’m sure David would be proud. I know I am. Nothing says love like the rallying of a bunch of kids taking care of their mama. And that they did. As we look forward to Christmas, let’s hold tightly to the most important things. Which as you know, are not things at all.

Photo by Sweetie Marie with her Poppy’s camera.

By Lynna Clark

“When Jesus came by, he looked up at Zacchaeus and called him by name. “Zacchaeus!” He said. “Quick, come down! I must be a guest in your home today.” Zacchaeus quickly climbed down and took Jesus to his house in great excitement and joy.” -Luke 19:5,6

What a picture! A grown man in a tree. All his accumulated wealth didn’t make him any taller. I feel your pain Zac… well, except for the rich part. There was a time when I loved to climb a good tree. Now I don’t even venture onto a step stool. I’ve been warned. Anyway, I love this little story. What a beautiful picture of the heart of Jesus. Loosely translated He said, Hey buddy! Come down from there! I want to be friends with you too. Let’s go get a little matzah ball soup and get to know each other!

Zac scampered down that tree so fast he probably had bark burns. Then the friendship began. Jesus invites us too. No need to stay in the tree. There’s joy to be had!

Let’s go!

Tree art by John Koch of Ocracoke Island, NC

By Lynna Clark

“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you shall find rest unto your souls.” -Matthew 11:29

Isn’t it kind that the Lord invites us to be yoked with Him? He actually wants to bear our burdens and give us rest. We are not meant to handle life by ourselves. Back in the days when the nation of Israel was being formed, the Lord gave an unusual command. Exodus 20:8 says to “Remember the sabbath day and keep it holy.” It was to be a day of rest. Pagan nations all around them wondered at their logic. For who sits around on a perfectly good work day when they could be out making hay while the sun shines? But rest and worship by God’s people has always been a testimony of His provision. It is how we learn to trust Him. Watching Him provide has been one of our greatest blessings. In order to experience a deep soul rest, be yoked with Him. He will gladly bear our burdens.

Bonus verse: “Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.” – Psalm 46:10

By Lyyna Clark

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” -Proverbs 4:23 [Nutshell #3}

In a day when we are bombarded with all manner of influence, how wise is this advice. Refusing to let those negative harmful thoughts become a part of our thinking will set us on a path of joy rather than sorrow; strength rather than pain; and hope rather than despair. Beside this little verse I made a note in my Bible during some very dark days.

“I will not entertain thoughts of suicide or ever go there. I will not crack that door in my thinking.” -my promise to those who love me.

There’s an old 70’s song with the line, “I pushed my soul in a deep dark hole, and then I followed it in“* That’s where I often found myself until I made my promise, wrote it down, and put the date beside it. I will not go there. Whatever your weakness, whether it’s infidelity, anger, negativity or chocolate covered pretzels [you know those Snyder ones with a bit of salt and dark chocolate… speaking for a friend],

Don’t crack that door!

Guard your heart above all else. It’s just wise.

*From Kenny Rogers and the 1st Edition, What condition my condition was in. 1967

By Lynna Clark

For years my tagline has read, “Only a minute, but eternity is in it.” So many times a life changing Truth comes in a tiny golden nugget. For instance, this quote from one of my favorite authors came like a small but delicious caramel. Have you tried those soft ones by Werther’s that are covered in chocolate? Yum. Sorry I can’t share my stash with you, but here’s this.

“Gratitude always leaves us looking at God and away from dread. It does to anxiety what the morning sun does to valley mist. It burns it up.” *

For instance: Instead of dreading the holidays because without David everything will be sad and different, I’ve begun giving thanks for all that the Lord has blessed me with. I’ve found that when I do that, my anxiety is replaced with thoughts of baking pumpkin bread, or making a list of gifts to search out for my loved ones. I didn’t say it was easy. In fact I think it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. But! I still have so much!

Gratitude: Scripture is so laced with it that I’m having a hard time choosing the best verse. Let’s go with this one:

“And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.” -Colossians 3:17

Your kindness to me during this terrible time of grief has been amazing. Can I ask you for one more thing? Hold my hand and walk with me. Together let’s choose thankfulness over dread, and watch with amazement as God burns away our anxiety like sun on the morning dew.

*God Will Carry You Through by Max Lucado

By Lynna Clark

Oh the stuff I am learning. How to change the water filter… how to empty the vacuum canister… how to take apart the outdoor umbrella base to empty it of water so it doesn’t freeze… All sorts of new tricks. I guess I took for granted many things David did for us; just being the man of the house. Part of it was his way of protecting me from using strength he knew I didn’t have. But mostly he just stayed in behind the stuff that I never thought about. Who knew the vacuum would eventually fill up if no one flipped that little latch so the dust would fall out? Thank the Lord I had sense enough to hold it over the trash can before I tried it. Then our water began tasting like a combination of metal and bleach. And it dawned on me. The filter needs to be changed. Kinda like the box of soda in the fridge which helps keep down odor. It’s supposed to be changed? Huh! Who knew? So I lefty-loosied the filter until my hands gave out. Then realized I had it upside down. So then I righty-tightied it until that sucker popped off and behold! Clean water was mine again! Woohoo! I am woman! Hear me roar! Or something more fitting for a woman of God.

Lest you think I’m a total dingbat, [too late, you say?] I’ve always been in charge of the finances. David never looked at our money or worried about our lack thereof. He knew I’d manage it. Occasionally he’d say, “Stay off Amazon for a while. I might have bought something I’d like to be a surprise.” So I would. I wouldn’t even check my emails until he’d tell me his package had been delivered. He loved surprising me.

There are some things however that can’t be learned, or fixed so far. There was a supermoon a week or so ago. David and I used to step out on the back deck once the moon was above the trees just to enjoy the beauty of it together. He’d gather me in front of him, wrap his big ol’ arms around me and we’d just gaze into the heavens at the Lord’s beautiful handiwork. Eventually he’d kiss me on the head and we’d silently go back inside. I never imagined grieving over checking on the moon by myself. I’m afraid this Christmas will not be the most wonderful time of the year. If I’m being honest, I almost dread it. But then I’m reminded. If he had not loved me so well, I wouldn’t miss him so much.

Fifty three years together. Two years dating plus fifty one married. All that love in exchange for the grief that is mine for now. Not a bad trade-off when I think of it that way. Especially in light of the fact that I’ll see him again in the not too distant future. What a wonderful day that will be! Even better than Christmas.

By Lynna Clark

From the book of Ecclesiastes come these beautiful words:

“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and time to gather stones.

A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.”

The writer, King Solomon, son of David goes on to say this. “God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.”

As you know, currently I am in a season of grief. Having lost my beloved David to cancer this summer, I couldn’t imagine ever dancing again. However. I’ve been trying to walk outside around the house in an effort to build up my strength. Yesterday when I finished and came back in to rest, I felt something crawling on my neck. A stink bug was tangled in my hair but just loose enough to explore the outer reaches of its new home. Turns out, it was a time to dance. Darlin’ this granny can move! Even in my dotage, I was able to get back out the door and shake him from my fuzzy head. I’m just glad I didn’t fall and break a hip. Dang stink bug. Apparently one can experience several seasons at once.

I like Solomon’s conclusion. Let’s be intentional to enjoy the life the Lord has blessed us with while we can. It’s full of wonderful joys and as David and I learned rather quickly; it can be gone in an instant. Let’s love while we can, and dance every chance we get.