By Rhonda Sassano

I was taking my morning walk, and one of my favorite songs started to play.  I relished the familiarity for a moment and, forgetting I was wearing earbuds, joined the vocalist singing, “How deep the Father’s love for us… how vast beyond all measure…that He would give His only Son…and make a wretch His treasure…How great the pain of searing loss…The Father turns His face away….as wounds which mar the Chosen One…bring many sons to glory.”  The truth of those words really hit home all of a sudden.  Did the Father trade His most precious son for me, for someone who really is a wretch? I truly am a worthless worm, and I deserve absolutely nothing!  How could the Father possibly love me so much? As I was trying to think of an analogy to express my heart, I thought of one of my young clients.  This client has several habits that are not only annoying but downright infuriating, and all of my skills are constantly tested by his behaviors and whole-body eye roll.  Yes, definitely my least-favorite person, I thought.  Then I wondered, is that who I am to the Father?  Annoying and infuriating even?  His least favorite person, perhaps, with all my disobedience and certain-that-i-know-best attitude.  Yes.  The Father choosing me over His Son would be like me giving up my most precious, beloved, treasured, and highly-valued son, Victor!  In essence, “trading him in” for my very least favorite person! I thought my heart would burst at just the thought… 

And I imagined this scene:  I am sitting on a throne, staring Victor in the face and I’m pointing to the exit sign.  And then I turn my head, so I won’t see him walk away; but now I am looking directly into the face of my least favorite person… and Very Least Favorite isn’t even vaguely aware of the sacrifice that just occurred… an extreme, anguish-filled, heart-wreaking sacrifice!  For his benefit; for his promotion; for his eternal blessing and glory!  I cannot even speak these words without emotion swelling, and overtaking me… What a scene in heaven that must’ve been… What do you think the angels must have thought and felt? The only grace is that they already had a full understanding of the Father‘s heart, that it was never to send Jesus away, but it was the only way to grant us access to relationship with Him.  If I had been standing there that day among the Angels, human as I am, I think I might have run up to Father and grabbed his hand, and demanded that he not allow this atrocity to happen! Oh Father!  This sacrifice will never be worth it!  Look again at the one your Son is being sacrificed for… And realize that least favorite person will never return the feelings, the love, the vulnerability, the intimacy, that You have experienced with Your Son.  Least Favorite could never possibly measure up in even one area!  

And I can see and feel the Father placing His hand on my head and then sharing with me that it was Jesus’ desire to be the sacrifice! He actually counted it an honor and privilege, even, to serve the Father, and each one of us, in that way. He gently reminded me that Jesus had already walked through the pain, the betrayal, the frustration, because time doesn’t apply to Him the way it does to me.  And somehow, because of his love for us, He found it bearable… And not only bearable, but Jesus counted it J O Y !  I can see myself, knees melting, trembling hands clinging to the Father‘s feet and begging for an explanation.  Father utters only one word:  “LOVE.”  Those fiery, intense eyes become so kind and tender and gentle that I throw my arms around his neck and smother Him with kisses.  When I pull away to take a breath, Jesus is right there, scars and all, glowing with glory.  “It’s done.  I did it for you, precious Rhonda.  And I cannot wait to be with you forever!”  My heart is thrilled beyond description, literally tingling with His nearness… my breath catches in my throat as Least Favorite glances in my direction.  I’m so sorry, Jesus.  Please, please forgive my, my …. You see my heart, Jesus.  You know it’s been .. not right from the beginning with this client.  But the circumstance wasn’t his fault and even if it was, I still can easily afford to extend a little grace to him.  You’ve given me so much!  Sacrificed your whole life me!  How can I withhold from him patience and a real effort to understand?  I cannot.  I choose to let You soften my heart towards him.  Help me extend just a little bit more of the compassion and mercy You have never withheld from me.  

The screech of a hawk soaring above jerked me back to reality.  My pace quickened to make up lost time, the rush of wind helping dry the dampness on my cheeks. 

What a beautiful gift I had been given… more grace and mercy from my ever-loving, ever Present, ever-encouraging Father and Savior!  I only pray that my impact on Least Favorite will be such that he, too, will recognize, appreciate, and embrace the sacrifice made for him.  

“God is not looking for those who can but those who will.”