By Ashlie Miller

As a teen and young adult, I babysat often. One of the boys I spent time with loved to build obstacle courses through the house – over, under, through, across, around. Challenges like these are fun when you are a child not so much when you are an adult. We see them as impediments and stumbling blocks – sometimes quite literally when our bare feet discover scattered Legos on the floor in the middle of the night!

In the life of a Christian believer, many hindrances can get in the way of doing the things God wants us to do, particularly for others. What obstructs the door of hospitality in our lives?

Anna began hosting within her home with little confidence. Social anxieties can be crippling and feed lies that speak into our hearts – “You are not enough” or “This event will not be impressive.” However, Anna puts faith in who God says she is, leans into what He is asking her to do, and trusts Him to take care of her limitations so that she does not have to rely on herself. She beautifully demonstrates a welcoming atmosphere and engages with each guest, even when there is a houseful, as I have witnessed.

While you, the host, may not be shy, there may be family members in your household who are introverted and can be overwhelmed by too much “peopling” – spending time with people. In Lizzy’s case, one child joins the group for the meal but then is welcome to enjoy the quiet of his room while others receive a dose of hospitality from his Mom. Lizzy still shares hospitality with the child as she takes note of his own needs and addresses and accommodates appropriately, but does not let that obstruct developing this trait in her home.

For some, like Ellie, the hurdle can be fear of lacking the gift of organization and pulling things together just so, though guests do not bear witness to that. The greatest lesson we can learn from our limitations is that simple is better than perfect. Consider that for yourself. When visiting another home, do we truly feel most welcome when everything is ideally in line, or do we feel more like family when flaws are present that we graciously overlook or maybe even embrace? The end goal of hospitality is not to impress but to welcome, include, and have opportunities to express care.

Then, there is the restriction of our personal calendars. Being intentional with hospitality will demand a ready, willing spirit and forethought. Wishful thinking and dreaming of a perfect time and setting can get stuck in a world of intentions. Sometimes, we have to grab life by the calendar, looking at our days, remembering our routines, and scheduling time to connect with others on a specific day. We must also cultivate a life of open hearts and homes to bring people into our routines. We may have to plan preparation or even recovery days if “peopling” drains us (introverts, I’m talking to you…er…us). We may have to push through exhaustion. Still, the end result – sharing the Light of Jesus through personal connection and welcoming others into outlives – is worth it!

What could happen if we looked at our gloriously busy fall and winter seasons ahead of us and planned to include others in our homes? What could change for them, us, our communities, and beyond?

Ashlie Miller navigates literal and figurative obstacles regularly in pursuit of hospitality in her home in Concord. You may contact her at ashliemiller.com.