By Ashlie Miller

Together. It is such a lovely thought of a word. It has connotations of joyful union and shared closeness. The opposite of that – separation – conjures up thoughts of loneliness, fear, division, and sadness.

The baby of our family expressed such sadness recently. Maybe it is because he has only known “together” for all of his five years of life. There is always someone with him. Even when playing alone, Mom is just around the corner, likely making a sandwich or cooking dinner. He embodies joy, optimism, and much love he is willing to share physically with a giant, plow-into-you bear hug. He is also quite empathetic. He is a sharer of joy and sorrow when he notices others are sad.

This month, we gathered as a family to remember my mother, my children’s Nana, who passed away two years ago. We ate one of her favorite desserts – German chocolate cake – and shared stories and thoughts while looking through old family photos. The family’s youngest members mostly ran around laughing and playing, just as Nana would have wanted. I am sure they caught glimpses of her while the old VHS tapes played on the television downstairs. Still, otherwise, they were a little less connected to the reminiscing. 

A few evenings later, as I tucked our little fellow into bed, I could see a look of distress on his face as he squeezed his most cherished lovey, whom he calls Puppy Love, in his arms. I leaned over and asked what was wrong. He closed his eyes tightly and said, “I hope Puppy Love never leaves me.”

It took my breath away. We all love Puppy Love; he has been with us since the oldest brother (now 17) was a baby. I tried to rationally but empathetically identify with his fear and hurt. It was not the time to tell him that inanimate objects cannot will to leave on their own. Nor was it the time to teach responsibility of not carelessly losing beloved items. His reality was knowing that things (or people) you love dearly could disappear someday. I gave him AND Puppy Love a big hug. Then, I told him he takes such good care of his lovey that Puppy Love would never want to leave him. 

It would be sad if this lovey left us because there is no real hope of reuniting. Separation is a scary and painful thing to ponder. 

Grieving my mother, his Nana, is very different, though. While separation hurts deeply, it is temporary. We WILL be reunited. Some days, that thought is not enough to hold back the wall of tears that trickle or burst unexpectedly. Our souls long for “together” and cannot deal with separation well because we were never meant to be permanently parted: 

“And the dead in Christ will rise first.Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words.” 

(1 Thessalonians 4:16-18)

Our souls long for “together” because our Lord knows our future immortality. The Christian can grieve with Hope (which is a Person, Jesus Christ) because we can rest assured of our eternal togetherness if we know this Hope. Never to be left again. Never to be separated. Better yet, we will share this togetherness with the Lord. What completeness and wholeness. What true togetherness! 

Ashlie Miller grieves with Hope along with her family in Concord. You may contact her at ashliemiller.com.