The Grass is Greener Next Door

by   April 21, 2024 with No Comments

By Ashlie Miller

My neighborhood walks often look more like a saunter while I stop to snap a picture of this iris, that azalea, or those clematis. I enjoy sharing them with friends in my Facebook stories to encourage others to observe their adjacent yards or share with those who cannot walk their neighborhoods. Together, we share our admiration and memories associated with certain flowers. 

The fantastic thing is that from house to house, in the same ecosystem, the flora highlighted by owners can vary greatly. One home may choose NC native plants in a well-kept lawn. Another may choose a symmetrical design with carefully cultivated plants usually found in other countries. Yet another may have an award for creating a habitat to welcome and protect local creatures – a natural lawn. Even the actual plants, like irises lately, might be in full bloom on one street today, while just around the corner, nestled in a shadow, irises are only beginning to bud. While it could create opportunities to be dissatisfied with one’s yard, it also gives one a chance to celebrate the beauty in a neighbor’s yard. 

Flowers are one thing; grass is another. Ask my husband, who may be the chiefest of sinners in coveting the green grass of a neighbor. Ours has taken much effort, to no avail. Rejoicing over a neighbor’s grass is a little more difficult than admiring their flowers.

Why is it more difficult to rejoice when others have a victory or win in life? When someone gets a promotion we hoped for, is accepted to the college or program we had our eyes set on, becomes engaged, or announces a pregnancy, and we are still waiting, how much effort does it take to rejoice with them?

Romans 12:15 couples our need to rejoice and weep with others. Though empathy and sympathy may open the door for weeping together, why would Paul need to instruct rejoicing with others? 

– It guards against my covetousness and envy, readjusting my gaze from the provision to the Provider who also loves my friend.

– It keeps my pride at bay. Instead of wondering why they got what I feel I deserved, I can humbly consider how God allows a common grace for all humanity.

– I become less egocentric. I begin looking for goodness that is always happening all around me in the lives of others.

As you get your steps in, consider slowing your pace to a leisurely stroll. Pause to look at the gifts in another’s yard, and if your neighbor is outside, ask how life has been for them lately. You may find an opportunity to rejoice not only in their plants but also in the beautiful things happening in their lives. 

Ashlie Miller often gathers more photos than steps on her walks. She and her husband are parents to 5 children in Concord, NC.

I Am Not a Goldfish

by   April 20, 2024 with No Comments

By Doug Creamer

            I am really a blessed guy because I am close with all three of my siblings. My older sister and I have been close for many years sharing our faith. My brother and I have always been close except for a few years in our youth. My younger sister and I were close because we were the last two at home when our older siblings were away at college or married and out of the house. I love catching up with each of my siblings whenever we can talk or see each other.

            My brother and I have gotten together for lunch whenever I am up in the area close to his work. We can talk about anything. We have both helped each other move numerous times. I think he has done more to help me than I have for him, but we always have a good time working together on projects.

            My older sister often comes over to see me when I am visiting my mother. We have shared some special times together through the years. There is always plenty of news with her family. It seems like someone is either getting married or having a baby or some other exciting thing. We understand each other.

            My younger sister and I catch up on the phone. We always laugh about something and share our struggles together. I have called her on more than one occasion when I needed to talk. She lives a block away from the beach so I love to go over to her house when I visit my in-laws and spend an afternoon sitting or walking the beach with her.

            We were talking last week and she said something that I really liked. I had done something that could have hurt her feelings. When I realized it I felt terrible. I apologized right away. She laughed and said, “Don’t worry, I’m a goldfish.” I said, “What are you talking about?” She laughed and explained that goldfish only remember something for 3 seconds and then they forget. She said not to worry because as a goldfish she had already forgotten about it. The trouble is: I haven’t!

            I am a sensitive person and I can easily get my feelings hurt. I would love to adopt the goldfish mentality. The trouble is my mind will not allow me to forget. I try to forget things. I try not to dwell on things. I try to let something go in one ear and out the other, but it doesn’t work. Things have a tendency to swirl around my brain again and again.

            Being sensitive is both a blessing and a curse. Being sensitive allows me to understand others and have compassion for their situations. Being sensitive allows me to pray more deeply for others. Being sensitive allows me to see others’ pain and help them by lifting their burdens and cares and standing with them through their situations.

            The problem with being sensitive is that it leaves me broken. Broken over my own mistakes. Broken for others who are suffering. Broken by a broken world. Broken by the lost who do not know the love of our Savior. But I have learned that God can use broken people if they will bring their brokenness to Him. When we are weak, He is strong. He is the healer. He is the restorer. He brings beauty from ashes. He makes beautiful things from the broken pieces.

            Sometimes I really wish I was a goldfish and could easily get over things, put things behind me, and forgive myself. Other times I am thankful that He draws close to me and picks up my pieces. He is at work in me. He works through me. He sees beauty and opportunity in brokenness. He doesn’t want me to be a goldfish. He wants me to be me. He wants me to be sensitive because that is the way He made me. Does it get in the way sometimes? Yes. Is it challenging? Yes. It is a blessing? Yes.

            I want to encourage you to not be a goldfish. It’s okay to be sensitive. It’s okay that you experience brokenness. Bring your hurting heart to Jesus. Release the pain to Him. Find the peace that goes beyond understanding that He offers to you. He cares more deeply than you will ever imagine. He sees you. He loves you…just the way you are. You are beautiful in His sight. He loves your tender heart. God works through sensitive people. Open your heart to Him so He can work in and through you.  

Contact Doug Creamer at PO Box 777, Faith, NC 28041or doug@dougcreamer.com

Spring Petals and Crosses

by   April 19, 2024 with No Comments

By Roger Barbee

Last night’s wind left dogwood blossoms covering the walkway of our back garden. When I exited the screen porch, I tread on a blanket of still-white petals from the tree next to the walkway. None of the other dogwood trees had lost their petals, and this one particular tree still had many of them left on its limbs, but for whatever reason, it had showered a spring dusting that caused me to think about death. Especially the death that Christians celebrate this time of the year.

Crucifixion most likely began with the Assyrians and Babylonians who tied their victims to a tree or post, leaving their feet to dangle. The Romans, after learning of the punishment during the Punic Wars,  began using crosses to perfect the punishment. The Roman Empire used it especially in the Holy Land, and in 4 B.C E. the Roman general Varus crucified 2,000 Jews, and the historian Josephus writes that there were mass crucifixions during the first century A.C.E.

 The victim was scourged, forced to carry the horizontal beam to the upright post, stripped, then either tied or nailed through the wrist to the cross beam before it was attached to the upright post. The victim’s name and crime was posted above his or her head. It was a slow, painful, and public death. Viewed as a shameful way of death, it was reserved for only the worst of criminals, and no Roman citizen would be executed in this manner.

Christians wear crosses, churches attach them to high steeples, and the symbol is used in a myriad of other ways that represent our belief. Yet, the crosses we use are sanitized images of what was used to kill. The Christian crosses have no representation of blood, mucus, pieces of torn flesh, urine, feces, or hair. Nothing that is evident from such a brutal death is on any part of the gold cross worn around the neck of many Christians or on the silver crosses that are present in all Christian churches. They are pristine, and I suggest that is where we delude ourselves concerning His death.

Through our art, music, architecture, jewelry, and more, we have created a false image of what His death was. While we read and say the words of it, we deny its reality by our accepted images of what His execution was. What  I am suggesting is that we can be honest of its brutality by our language of His ordeal and the images we use for it. Each of us, for instance, can discard the neat, golden cross worn around our necks and wear a small, rough, and irregular wooden one that would be more representative of the cross on which our Savior tasted death for us. I appreciate that houses of worship will not and perhaps can not remove their crosses. But we individual Christians can make a small change to remind us of His death on a tree and the brutal pain He endured.

Family Enjoys a European Running Vacation

by   April 18, 2024 with No Comments

By David Freeze

Rowan’s premier running family enjoyed a very special vacation, and the details are worth sharing. Mom, Rebekah, is owner of the Lazy Five Vets and a lifelong runner. Here are excerpts from her family’s travels for 10 days in June 2023. Other family members are dad, Scott; daughter, Hope; and sons, Noah and Eli.

Rebekah said, “Running is always a part of our lifestyle, even if on vacation. We may be at different levels with mileage and workouts but being a running family, we have enjoyed some great memories and experiences running in other places. I always find it intriguing to see how other people truly live and even what type of exercising they love to do when on vacation in other areas of the United States or now a tiny piece of Europe. I have often struck up conversations with people that we would never have until they see our family running together. I honestly was quite anxious and apprehensive about us getting in good runs in Europe. We were in countries whose languages were foreign to us, places that I did not know anyone, and was just unsure if it was normal for their culture to exercise in parks, on trails, etc. I was pleasantly surprised to find some great runs, some that will give our family memories forever.”

The family was looking for trails because they prefer soft surfaces. They often use trail maps, not always the best option for the running. Rebekah also used the Strava app, Google Maps and topography sites. She found another app call Wikiloc, used more in Europe. Various concerns included how busy with traffic, how hilly or flat, how large are the trails and was the area part of a park.

Rebekah said, “Safety is always a top priority when looking for a place to run. Noah and Eli are old enough now they can go on their own and we all need to feel comfortable. Hope and I typically stay with Scott, or we run together. I am now the slowest runner in our family so Noah or Scott would run with Hope on her workouts. Oftentimes we will choose areas that we pass each other so out and backs are typically how we plan the run out. We always know where each other is planning to run and stay in the same area. I always carry my phone and have international capability just in case. I also really pay attention to others around me, runners, cyclists, are they alone and are women running alone. I never run with music in unknown areas due to safety concerns. We typically try to run in the mornings as well, with less traffic and typically the people around us are those exercising in early morning hours. We did some afternoon runs but never at night.”

The family started in Munich, Germany, and during the ride to the hotel, they saw lots of cyclists riding along trails that connect city to city called “Redwig.” “We thought it so wonderful to provide countryside and city options for exercise without the car. Similar to our ‘greenways’ but all on tiny gravel, these trails went miles and miles from one city to another.” The family’s first run the next morning had to be along the city paved bike paths to a large park they found, an absolutely beautiful place to run.

Rebekah added, “I was amazed at all the walkers, runners and cyclists we passed, many with dogs. The trails were very wide and offered lots of different options to cut through and repeat what you previously ran. We could easily get 10 miles or more in this flat park. Eli did some mile repeats, Noah just enjoyed running, while Hope and I did a fartlek (a type of speed training). I will say this park was one of the quietest and cleanest city parks I had ever seen, even though there were many people and dogs. We just all took in the beauty that morning.”

To be continued next week…

Look for the One in 5K and Fun Run at Knox Middle School on April 13, benefiting the Family Crisis Council along with other events at www.salisburyrowanrunners.org.

If Only I Had…

by   April 16, 2024 with No Comments

By Ann Farabee

If only I had —

My thoughts beyond those four words are a bit too personal to share.

We all have to deal with our “if only I had’s” in life, don’t we?

Seems odd, doesn’t it? Most everything in life can now be changed, but changing an “if only I had” can be very difficult to change — and sometimes impossible to change.

What if we could take one of those “if only I had’s” away?

What if it became repairable? What if the slate could be wiped clean?

What if?

Have you ever had someone you owe money to tell you to just forget about it and wipe the slate clean? I have.

Have you ever had someone that you hurt totally and completely choose to forgive you and wipe the slate clean? I have.

Have you ever watched a classroom full of students using a whiteboard and wipe the slate clean? I have.

My students loved using the whiteboards. Everyone had one to use, the had a marker of their color choice and everyone had an eraser.

I would put a math problem on the board and they would work it out on their whiteboard. That was a lot more fun than using paper and pencil. They loved being able to erase their mistakes. On the whiteboard, there was no way to detect that the incorrect answer had been written on their first. Their slate had been wiped clean.

One time, my family had rented a video to watch at home, and somehow it went missing. I searched and searched and then I forgot about it. (I am not liable for this years later, am I?) Much later, I went to the video store to rent another video. At the checkout, I was informed that I still had one checked out. I froze in fear. I saw a sign in the store that made me realize that not returning a video was a crime.

Apparently, the fear on my face was enough because after a bit of research by the store employees, I was told there was no additional charge and to forget about it.

That, my friends, was wiping the slate clean.

That fear, though short-lived, was real. For a second, I wondered if they would actually charge me all those late fees. It would have been a debt that was due that I could not afford to pay.

The slate was wiped clean. In spite of my crime — I mean my mistake — I was still accepted and considered to be a customer of the video store.

Sometimes, those white boards were still a little smudgy after our math lessons.

That was when everyone’s favorite part of using the whiteboard came — each student used a spray bottle and a cloth to wipe it clean.

No matter how many marks were on it, wiping it clean happened almost immediately.

I love when Jesus picks up that whiteboard in heaven and says, “The slate has been wiped clean.” I will save you, guide you, give you rest and give you the Holy Spirit. I will give you a home in heaven.

Dealing With Depression

by   April 15, 2024 with No Comments

By Rhonda Sassano

Yup.  Still here.  Depression is a real booger. My phone calendar, every morning, reminds me that others are wondering if I’ll be different today, better, more engaged and less distant.  

I’m trying.  

I made myself a list this morning, hopefully from the Holy Spirit… and I thought I’d share it with you.  Perhaps you’ll find something helpful in your own journey.  

  1. Make a list of things I’ve stopped doing.  Pick one to start doing again.  Add another tomorrow. Or next week. 
  2. Express thankfulness for every little thing.  Count my blessings.  Increase gratitude, in my heart, if not in my words.  
  3. Be obedient to the Holy Spirit, no matter what.  It’s the easiest way to be, literally, closer to Father. 
  4. Take care of my self—- wash my hands, brush my teeth, put stuff away, take showers, use lotion, makeup, fragrances, etc. 
  5. Engage in a creative activity that expresses my emotions.  Ask the Holy Spirit to help me acknowledge the feelings in ways that open the door for healing. 
  6. Clean / organize / plant something.
  7. Don’t give in to addictions; let the pain drive me to the Lord instead. 
  8. Speak Scripture over myself.  Read them with my name in there.  Col 1:1-17, esp 17.  Ps 1:1-3
  9. Eliminate sugar from my diet.  Yes, seriously.  Tell myself, “I hate sugar.  I hate what it does to me.  I detest sweet things because they actively worsen my health.  Sweet treats are a trick of the enemy to make my emotions feel better temporarily.”
  10. Time for quiet reflection is vital to recovering healing.  Don’t fill it with music or worship but allow sadness / grief / disappointment / fear / anger to overtake me and bring it to the Father.  Use the honesty tool and write down what Father says. Reread it to myself for 7 consecutive days. 

Remember that brokenness is painful.  But necessary for the next step.  Healing is coming.  Do my part.  Wait on the Lord.  Be of good courage and He will strengthen my heart.  And yours. 

Love, 

Rhonda

If you are struggling with fear, anxiety, discouragement, disappointment, or depression, please reach me at sunnyshade13@gmail.com.  I am a certified mental health coach and would count it a privilege to walk with you in your journey to better mental health. 

“God is not looking for those who can but those who will.”

Who Are You Thinking About Right Now

by   April 14, 2024 with No Comments

By Ashlie Miller

What do you do when you think of someone you haven’t seen in quite some time? Do you reach out to them and let them know? Do you stop and pray for them? Thankfully, a friend who thought of me out of the blue stopped and prayed for me last week and then texted me to let me know. Though a good friend, she lives many hours away. We usually see each other at funerals these days, and we only text occasionally, yet she was thinking of me. 

The text read, “Thinking about you and praying for you.” She reminded me that the Lord knows my requests and hears me. Nothing on social media would have alerted her; I am private about my personal needs. We have not been in contact about ongoing struggles or prayer needs. How, then, could she have known? I believe it is because we share someone extraordinary – the Holy Spirit, who ministers to us as we pray and read God’s Word.

In the Kingdom of God, this is a common occurrence. Many Christians from all walks of life pray fervently – moms, dads, grandmas, singles, teens, and professionals. You may feel alone and think no one notices or considers you, but remember, you can be a part of a community of believers. The love that overflows from their relationship with God will cause them to notice others, pray for them, and perhaps help them, if possible.

Sunday morning, on my walk, my playlist reminded me of the song “Someone Is Praying For You”: 

When it seems that you’ve prayed ’til your strength is all gone

And your tears fall like raindrops all the day long

He cares and He knows just how much you can bear

He’ll speak your name to someone in prayer

Romans 8:26-27 reminds us: 

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.” Wow, the Spirit intercedes – prays – on behalf of the believers in Jesus!

As the Holy Spirit intercedes on our behalf, and as other believers are faithful to pray and read their Bibles, it is clear that the Holy Spirit can breathe the names of others who are struggling to fellow believers. But it’s not enough to just know this, we must act on it. When we trust that those random names were put on our hearts for a purpose, we can reach out, encourage, and even sometimes be tangible help to those in need. This is our responsibility as Christians, and it’s a privilege. Sometimes, the answer to someone’s prayer is us!

Ashlie Miller is a pastor’s wife and serves at Mission Bible Church in Charlotte. She and her husband, Chad, are parents to 5 children.

Unwelcome Critters

by   April 13, 2024 with No Comments

By Doug Creamer

            We live at the end of a street next to acres of woods. It makes for a quiet location. We like the peacefulness and privacy that the woods provide. We also enjoy living in a good and safe community. One day I hope to have a nice path through the woods, something I can enjoy on a warm summer day.

            The woods provide lots of wildlife. We have a variety of birds that visit our feeders and bring us great joy. We also have deer who like to visit our yard when the vegetables are ready to harvest. We have seen possums both in the yard and trying to sneak in our garage. Naturally, we have an abundance of squirrels and rabbits.

            Our unwelcome visitor came just after the holidays. You may remember that we had a mild winter and this particular visitor should have been hibernating. But the warm weather had brought this critter out and then it naturally wanted a warm place to spend the cold nights.

            I have lived in this part of our county for over thirty years and have rarely smelled a skunk. This past winter we woke up at night with our eyes burning from the odor. One neighbor saw the skunk, another caught it on their doorbell camera. There was no mistaking we had one in the area.

            One day I discovered dirt had been dug out from under the concrete slab that holds our heater. Then I discovered that our water pipe had been dug up where it enters our home. Something was wrong. We called a professional who confirmed our fears…a skunk decided we have a nice warm place to sleep.

            I’ll spare you the details, but the professional took care of our problem…much to our relief. I was delighted when he gave us the all clear. I thought our critter woes were over. Then one day I was walking out the garage door and down our steps when I thought something ran past my feet.

            It’s here that I will confess that I need to see my eye doctor. I haven’t been to the eye doctor in a few years and my vision is not what it used to be. I got a flashlight and inspected the area in question closely and discovered nothing out of the ordinary. Problem solved, until the next time I went out the door and I saw the same thing again. Something was definitely there.

            I did a more thorough inspection of the area and found some sunflower seed shells. I looked further and discovered a sunflower I had saved had been nibbled on. I removed the food supply, thus ending the mouse adventures around my back door. I hope he moved out!

            When I think about it, there are many unwelcome critters that come into our spiritual lives that we have to learn to fight and remove. The first to come to mind is temptation. We all face temptation because our enemy the devil knows just how to lure us away. Sometimes we just let him and we take the bait. We permit and perhaps even encourage temptation to live around us and fail to remove it. We are promised that there is no temptation that is too strong for us and that God promises a way of escape…but we have to choose it.

            Another way we all struggle at times is being discouraged. It’s normal to be discouraged for various reasons. We need to learn to turn to the Lord AND let others in to help lift us out and show us the light of hope. Other times we might find ourselves living with constant discouragement, overwhelming anxiety, or even depression. These mental skunks may require us to call a trusted friend, our pastor, our family doctor, or even a counselor to help us evict the skunk and to clean up our stinking thinking. God is with you and He will help you.

            I want to encourage you to take care of you. Learn how to fight and resist temptation. Walk away from situations that lead you down the wrong path. Find brothers and sisters who will stand with you and encourage you in your battle. If you are feeling overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Finding the right person to listen and stand with you is critical to bring healing to your mind, body, and spirit. You are a precious son or daughter of God and He wants the best for you.  

Contact Doug Creamer at PO Box 777, Faith, NC 28041or doug@dougcreamer.com

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