My Super Power

by   August 19, 2024 with No Comments

By Rhonda Sassano

Since I’ve begun a new career recently, I’ve discovered that I have a super power.  Actually, it’s a power I’ve always had, but now I have learned how to use it effectively, and how to use it to my advantage.  

The really cool thing about this super power is this:  YOU HAVE IT TOO!  You may already be using it, even!

Are you intrigued yet?  

As an explanation, let me tell you a bit about my job.  I’m a Registered Behavior Technician (RBT) and I work with children who have a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder.  Basically, my clients are kiddos who engage in maladaptive behaviors in an effort to communicate.  (Please don’t be offended if you love someone with ASD… this is my best attempt at a very brief description of the myriad of symptoms they deal with.) The disorder prevents them from recognizing that their actions have consequences and affect others. My job is to reinforce acceptable behaviors and withhold reinforcement of unacceptable behaviors.  

But wait… isn’t that, uh… 

Parenting 101??? 

Well, yes. Yes it is!  Fortunately, I was pretty good at that part of parenting.  But these clients have a disorder, not just a natural bent to childishness; and they are not my own children, and it’s outside acceptable standards to treat them as I did my own children (with a pain stick!) 

So now I hear your question:  if you can’t punish them, what CAN you do? This is where the super power comes in:  I can IGNORE the maladaptive behaviors.  

Long pause . . . .   . . .      .  .  .  

Uhhhhh…. yeah.  Ignore.  

No, really!  Ignoring the maladaptive behavior really works IF it’s done properly:  zero reaction. Zero flinching.  Zero eye contact.  Zero communication of any kind.  Zero everything because ANY anything, even a minute reaction, can encourage the behavior to continue.  

Once I understood, I tried it out on someone else’s client.  Day One:  A rather tall client, whom I’d never met before, ran up to me and totally invaded my personal space.  She shoved her face close to mine with a grunt and a glare.  I took a step back, saying, “Hi friend!” Satisfied, she ran off.  Day Two:  Same tall client ran up to me, totally invaded my personal space.  She shoved her face close to mine with a grunt and a glare.  I didn’t flinch and looked away.  She stood there a few seconds, frozen with confusion, awaiting my reaction.  When I held my position, she walked away. Day Three:  Tall client continued playing when I arrived, and every day afterwards.  

This is too simple, right?  It isn’t as easy as it looks on paper… The really really good news is this:  ignoring works on other stuff, too.

Here’s my list so far, ‘cause I’ve been experimenting!

Ignoring drivers who cut me off or do something equally irritating. 

Ignoring FB comments that are inflammatory. 

Ignoring the customer in front of me with 24 items in the no-more-than-12 line. 

Ignoring comments or behaviors from co-workers who are trying to get a reaction out of me. 

Ignoring my best friend’s too-much-focus on the phone to really hear me or support me. 

Ignoring my kids’ continued demands for information when I already told them what to do. 

“Ok,” you say, “I get it.  But I can’t ignore everything!”

Right you are.  The super power part is in knowing the difference. 

Try this as a rule of thumb:

If ignoring will improve or eliminate the situation, then ignore.  If ignoring will make it worse (like when my spouse and I have a disagreement and one of us retreats into silence) then ignoring is not an affordable option. 

In terms of Christian living, ignoring is more than a superpower; it’s actually a weapon of destruction for strongholds and addictive behaviors alike. Even my fleshly nature benefits from a good dose of ignoring.  

I spent many years trying to “get over” a couple of powerful but invisible addictions. Every episode of temptation was a HUGE effort to “not go there.”  Then the Holy Spirit brought some teaching into my life about “focus.”  Whatever I aim the camera lens at and “focus” on, that’s what comes into view, clear and magnified.  If I’m mostly focusing on what NOT to do or what to avoid, then that is holding my attention, clearly and strongly.  Instead, I should focus my lens on Jesus, on righteousness, on good things, on truth, on hope (Phil 4:8) When that is my focus, filling my lens with sharp clarity, everything else  fades to the background!  Addictions and temptations disappear from sight!  After a few weeks of really making an effort to make and maintain my focus on the Lord, I was actually surprised when the temptation did rear its ugly head.  But suddenly it was so grotesque to me that I quickly turned my lens back to Jesus, refocusing on the Author and Finisher of my faith, and guess what?  Ignoring worked! That temptation grew distant and faded away into the blurry background!  

Here’s the lesson in a nutshell:

Whatever I feed GROWS.  Whatever I ignore DIES.  It works in childhood discipline.  It works in my garden. It works in my body.  It works in my job, and it works in my real spiritual life.  See?  I told you!  IGNORING IS MY SUPER POWER!  

Still don’t believe me?  Try it for yourself.  And don’t give up after a half-hearted, I really-don’t-think-this-will-work effort. Really try it!  You’ll be surprised, encouraged, and relieved at the results!  

With joy,

Rhonda

P.S.  If you struggle with anxiety, depression, discouragement, or disappointment, please reach out to me.  I’m a certified mental health coach and I would be honored to help you find a path to a better place.  You can email me at Openhartstudio@gmail.com.  I’d love the opportunity to connect with you!

“God is not looking for those who can but those who will.”

Summer Send Offs

by   August 18, 2024 with No Comments

By Ashlie Miller

And just like that *snap*, summer vacation is coming to a close. For some of us, it was too fast, but we felt like it would never end, especially if one of our children was away for the summer. Such was the case with our oldest. He set out to serve at a Christian summer camp in western NC for the summer.

Letting him go for a summer, well, that was easy. After all, summer does go by quickly. We knew he would be returning, ready to explore life with a gap year ahead of him. Gap years are the time some students elect to take between high school graduation and their next steps. Gap years can be tricky. Sometimes, it is taking a breather in some way before entering the many responsibilities of adulthood, while others are anxious to begin a career by stepping into internships, apprenticeships, and more. Others plan to save up as they plan to work through college.

In any case, having a sense of purpose and direction is critical. Otherwise, a gap year may lead to a season of idleness. That can lead to laziness and slothfulness and an opportunity for the devil to tempt us to build idols when we are idle. 

We prayed as our son set off for camp—a time to reflect and ponder his purpose in the upcoming gap year. God met us in our prayers, allowing our son to intern there for an entire year. It all came together quickly and somewhat unexpectedly. After ten weeks of grueling schedule, he came home to rest, recharge, and recalibrate. Then, Friday came. 

Many other families prepped their college-bound sons and daughters for a new adventure. They have had years to plan for this day. The Friday before our son left was a bit different. We knew a day would come when he would be away from us for an extended period, but we had no idea it was waiting for him just around the corner. The day he left was also the anniversary of his Nana (my mom) passing away 3 years earlier. Talk about lots of mixed emotions! But we made it through. His leaving met me with an overwhelming sense of peace and joy mixed with sadness in my tears.

Parents of Christian young adults—send them in God’s peace. Each of them is leaving with areas for growth and maturity. This also provides opportunities for our own growth in Christ as we trust Him with our children. If God has begun a good work in them, even though it is imperfect and at times really messy, we can trust that the Father will complete that good work—even if it is a messy process. (Philippians 1:6)

Pray for them, encourage them, send them Amazon deliveries. Do all you can to engage from a distance, but ultimately, entrust them to their Creator and Savior. I preach to myself here as well.

If your child is not a Christian, pray for the other students they will encounter who are. Pray they will reach out, grow in their faith, and desire to share the gospel with your loved one. Most of all, remember God loves them more than we ever could and cares more perfectly than we can.

Ashlie Miller and her husband, Chad, have a few more children and several years left until they are empty nesters. You may contact her at mrs.ashliemiller@gmail.com.

Meteor Showers

by   August 17, 2024 with No Comments

By Doug Creamer

            Every August I head outside late at night to watch the sky in hopes of seeing some meteors. August is the time for the Perseid Meteor showers. They tend to last for over a week, with one or two peak nights. I have a folding chair that almost reclines, and I take that out to a dark place in my yard and watch the sky for a magical show.

            This annual tradition all began over forty years ago. My sister was a lifeguard on the Outer Banks and worked for the National Park Service. She invited me to come and stay for a few nights with her. She would work all day guarding and I would hang out at the beach. After work we would eat dinner and then always did something fun.

            One night as I was heading to bed she told me about the meteor shower that night. She said she was getting up in the middle of the night to go out and watch them and asked if I wanted to go out with her. Sometime in the middle of the night she woke me up and we went out and laid on the picnic table to watch for meteors.

            When I looked up I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Where did all those stars come from? I had never seen that many stars in all my life. It was absolutely beautiful. Then the meteors started to fall. We were having a great time watching nature put on a fantastic show. Then straight overhead a meteor hit the atmosphere that lit up the night sky. It was a pure bright light that lasted for only a second or two. We both exclaimed, “Wow!” at the same time. It was spectacular! It left a trail in the night sky that lasted for over a minute. We were both so excited to see such an incredibly beautiful sight.

            I have gone out every year since, hoping that I might see something like that again. I have been lucky enough to see a few small fireballs through the years. I have also seen one huge fireball on a different night that was seen from several states. But the memory of that one night with my sister has kept me looking up every August in hopes of seeing something special once again. I love getting someplace where it is dark, especially at the beach, where I can look up at God’s wondrous creation and admire its beauty.  

            The darker you can get your surroundings the more you can see and appreciate the beauty of His heavenly creations. In the darkness, the slightest light can shine brightly. This is something we need to apply to our spiritual lives. God has placed His light in our spirits and we have the responsibility to let that light shine in the darkness.

            Many people live their lives walking around in spiritual darkness. They are hopeless. They are trapped in their sinful lives. They don’t know any way out or any different way of life. They are lost and in need of a savior.

            That’s where we come into the equation. God has put His light in our hearts to be a beacon of hope to those who don’t know His love and forgiveness. Our job is to share the light so they can discover God’s love, mercy, and hope. People who are stuck in their sin don’t realize that God has a plan for their freedom, and better yet, a plan for their future.

            God’s plan includes breaking their chains of sin and hopelessness. He wants them to experience complete forgiveness and total acceptance. He wants to exchange their anxiety and depression for His joy and peace. He wants them to stop feeling abandoned and join the family of God. He wants to change their destination from being separated from God to heaven where they will know His love and care for all eternity.

            I want to encourage you to let your light shine in this dark world. Boldly share your faith and the reason for your hope. Let those who are walking in darkness know that they can experience God’s unconditional love right here, right now. He wants to guide them into a life of fulfillment and peace. It’s available to them today if they will only open their hearts to receive God’s love and forgiveness. You can be the light that can lead people to God’s love. So let your light shine as a testimony of God’s love. Let your light offer hope to all who will come.

Contact Doug Creamer at PO Box 777, Faith, NC 28041or doug@dougcreamer.com

Prufrock on Landis Road

by   August 16, 2024 with No Comments

By Roger Barbee

                                                Prufrock on Landis Road

Driving along Landis Road to my mother’s funeral, I noticed the rich fields of recently planted corn and grasses. The young corn stood green and strong, and the grasses awaited their first cutting to be used for winter feed. A rich spring of new life and growth flanked the road as Mary Ann and I drove to the church. The juxtaposition of the emerging life and our destination reminded me of Hebrews 6:1-3.

At certain stages, we can’t wait to grow older. I imagine that every pre-teen anticipates the imagined magic of charging into the teen years. For other reasons, turning eighteen and twenty-one are wished for. But after those milestones, growing older is dreaded. We edge into the 30’s but turning forty is often seen much like a tolling of bells, and the decades after are viewed as a finality. Prufrock is so uncertain of these years that all he could muster is his questions of “Shall I…?” or “Do I dare…?”

The writer to the Hebrews tells us to leave the elementary teaching behind and “be borne onwards to full maturity.” (Barclay translation) But it seems to me that as a culture mostly claiming Christianity, we keep in the same elementary zones of our comfort. We keep plowing the same ground, not expanding our fields and perhaps killing what has sprouted beneath us. And I think our fear of changing and moving comes from our sense of  control over the “same old thing” and “the way it’s always been done”, or “things ain’t like they used to be.” That last one is often offered as a reason not to change or as a whine about a new situation or way. You know what? Things are not as they used to be because those words reflect our memory which is at best suspect and likely tainted by our biases. When a suggestion is made to change the tables and chairs in a room, firm stances are taken in opposition. We resist any change to our comfort zones, thus stifling any growth to maturity or perfection in our Christianity. As Clarence Jordan writes, “Fear is the polio of the soul which prevents us from walking by faith.”

Years ago when I turned sixty, a friend told me that feeling the years of the decade would not come until I was sixty-two or three. She was correct. When I turned sixty-three, I felt the years of being in that decade of life. However, since my accident at fifty-five, I have learned to appreciate the years and what they represent contrary to our secular culture which teaches us to fear what is constantly around us—death. Today is May 15, 2019, a fine spring day on Lake Norman. I see birds flying to nesting boxes to feed the young. Each trip to the box by a parent represents a death which occurs so that a life may grow. It is all a cycle that we have come to fear because of our false sense of control. Our culture convinces us that creams and such will help forestall ageing so much that corporations flourish. Wrinkles and grey are marks of defeat, not marks of growing towards maturity and perfection as Christians and citizens.

The writer to the Hebrews tells us how to grow and mature as Christians.  Robert Ruark in The Old Man and the Boy, a memoir full of secular wisdom, quotes his grandfather saying, “That’s why I like November. November is  a man past fifty who reckons he’ll live to be seventy or so, which is old enough for anybody—which means he’ll make it through November and December, with a better-than-average chance of seeing New Year’s.”

 As a seventy-three-year-old, I hope for a few more years like these I live now because I  feel that I have come to appreciate living a life of obedience and finally, after years of lost living, I am on a right path. I now understand the words of Karle Wilson Baker who writes in Let Me Grow Lovely these words:

“Let me grow lovely, growing old—

            So many fine things do:

Laces, and ivory, and gold,

And silks need not be new;

And there is healing in old trees,

Old streets a glamour hold;

Why may not I, as well as these,

Grow lovely, growing old?”

            Prufrock feared his coming middle age. Yet, as Christians we need not allow fear to be a polio that prevents our walk. Wrinkles and grey are marks of age, medals of well lived lives in His service.

Final Western State Parks

by   August 15, 2024 with No Comments

By David Freeze

  After seeing a long-distance view of Mt. Mitchell in the clouds the night before, I was still hopeful of reaching the summit in time to see the July 24th sunrise. Still 16 miles away at my motel, I left on the dark and damp morning at just after 6am. I followed the Blue Ridge Parkway to the entrance road for Mt. Mitchell State Park and found most of it socked in by clouds.

    Mt. Mitchell was the first NC state park in 1915 and is one of the smallest at 1,855 acres. Named for Elisha Mitchell who explored the mountain and determined it the highest peak east of the Mississippi River at 6,684 feet. A railroad once operated on the mountain for logging purposes.

   Highway 128 is the entrance road, and I drove to the summit parking area while waiting for more daylight and a hopeful break in the clouds. I realized the area was enveloped in a cloud, so I walked the Balsam Nature Loop as suggested by the owner of Albert’s Lodge the evening before. What I found was sort of an enchanted alpine forest, well worth the effort. At the far end, I walked briefly for the first time on the Mountains to Sea Trail which crosses North Carolina.

    Back at the trailhead, I walked up the paved but steep Summit Trail to the observation area, I’m sure a real treat on a clear day. I was last here as a small child but couldn’t see more than 200 feet currently. A small museum and gift shop, plus restrooms are in the area too. The museum has a life-sized figure of area explorer Tom Wilson and his cabin.

   On the way back down, I stopped at the park restaurant that came highly recommended, but it didn’t open until 11am. Last was a stop at the visitor center for my passport stamp and a map, plus an interesting conversation with one of the attendants. I will return to see the views that offer parts of four states and are so spectacular maybe even Russia, according to Van at Albert’s Lodge with a smile.

    My next park was South Mountains State Park, listed as nearest Connelly Springs and the largest state park at over 20,000 acres. The park has elevations of 3,000 feet and has 47 miles of hiking trails, 35 miles of equestrian trails and 17 miles of bike trails. Opened in the 1970s, the park has primitive camping. The Cherokee Catawba Indians once hunted and fought in the park area and settlers came in the late 1700s. Gold was found in 1828, and 26,000 acres were logged before the state established the park.

   I asked at the visitor center about the most popular hiking trail in the park. The High Shoals Fall Trail is the signature trail and although the desk attendant suggested easier ones, I told her I wanted to see the falls. More than a mile to the falls, the second half was mostly wet rock steps. 400 of them this time, added to that a huge amount of people coming and going including what looked like kids’ day camps. I just stepped aside and gave everyone else plenty of room.

    The park has an extensive mix of 11 hiking trails varying in distance from .2 miles to 5.2 miles and with varying degrees of difficulty. Many of the trails can be combined for even longer efforts. All of the trails leave from one of the three trailheads.

     High Shoals Falls was one of the best I had seen on the state park trails, definitely again worth the effort. This was my 15th park and the most challenging waterfall trail yet. On the way back, I took another trail to Big Bear Falls with a much easier effort.

     My next park was Lake Norman State Park, the closest to my farm, on July 26. The park opened in 1962 after Duke Power built the Cowans Ford Dam and then donated land for the park to the state. Lake Norman was created from 1959 to 1964, but the area is full of long-ago history. The Catawba Indians had a population of about 5,000 but they left the area after it declined to less than 100 because of disease and warfare with any of the eight other tribes close by. There is an interesting collection of arrowheads that have been carbon dated to before 2000 BC.

    With 17 miles of shoreline on Lake Norman, the park has campgrounds, a public swim beach, hiking and biking trails, picnic areas and pavilions, a community building, a boat ramp, and a fishing pier on its 1,328 acres. There is quality fishing in Lake Norman and the park lake. Kayaks, canoes, pedal boats and standup paddleboards are available in one of the smallest yet one of the best parks. There is a 30.5-mile Itusu mountain bike trail. I did the Lakeshore Trail, which is listed as six miles on the park map but closer to 5.6 miles. Two other shorter trails including one that is wheelchair accessible start near the visitor center. The beach is free except for a small charge to swimmers but boats can launch free on Boat Launch Drive. Campground sites are numerous with a bathhouse and restrooms nearby, while six new two room cabins which can sleep six have water, sewer and electricity also available. Everything is free with lots to do!

     16 parks visited, and 26 more to go!

Gotta Run: Final western state parks

Temporary Trouble

by   August 14, 2024 with No Comments

By Ed Traut

2 Corinthians 4:17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

  • Troubles are no doubt around all of us.
  • But for sure they are momentary and temporary.
  • But they will achieve blessings for us at the end – what the enemy meant to harm us with is going to be designed by God to bless us and others. 

Prayer:  Lord I will not today be stressed or focussed on troubles.  I will bless Your Holy name and I will rejoice that You will turn all my troubles and difficulties into blessing and these will just be passing through and I will continue in Your glory.  Strengthen me I pray in Jesus name, fill my heart with Your words of praises and songs today because You are worthy of all my praise.  Amen.

Ed Traut
Prophetic Life

Forgiveness

by   August 13, 2024 with No Comments

It might be easy to forgive someone for the little things they do that hurt us. BUT… what do you do when someone does something…unforgivable! You have to turn to God and discover a way to forgive… Here is an incredible story of just that. Steve Hartman shares a story of HOW you MUST learn to forgive…. WATCH!

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