Midwifery school is no joke. In the last three months I've been stretched, exhausted, miserable and brain-dead; yet somehow it has all been wrapped up in such a profound grace and a sweet, sweet glory. I have absolutely loved all the material and I could not be more stoked about this crazy path I'm on. Things have been so laid out for me in Boise, it's kind of crazy. I have accepted a wonderful internship that has me committed to the Treasure Valley for at least a year and a half. I have met and fallen in love with the most wonderful community and I get to live with one of the coolest chicks on the planet! And on top of all that, I've met a particularly good lookin' guy that I have become increasingly fond of:) Transitions typically are not my thing, but this one has been so easy and oh so good. Never in a million years would I have chosen Idaho as a landing point, but I feel so strongly this is where I'm supposed to be...for now anyway.
One thing that many people have been asking me, and quite frankly I've been asking myself, is why midwifery? Why am I, a free-spirited travel junkie, working towards a career that requires me staying in the same place and living on call 24/7? I don't have straight forward logical answers for you (no surprise there), but I will do my best...
My mom had three home births and used midwives so I have always been very familiar with the term. However, I can't say there was a specific time where I was like "Hey, I think I'll spend my life catching babies." Although let's be real, helping bring life into the world is a pretty sick job. Above anything, my heart is for empowering people; women in particular. I wouldn't go as far to say that I'm feminist, but I can definitely get pretty dang worked up when women are sent to the kitchen with their prego bellies and their bare feet. My heart's cry is to raise up mothers and teach them how to be daughters; daughters that are outrageously loved by their Father.
So what does that have to do with midwifery? And what even is a midwife?? Someone recently asked me if a midwife was the same thing as a surrogate. The answer is no. And we're not second wives either. I do have to be honest, coming into midwifery school I was pretty ignorant to what midwives actually do. I mean of course, they deliver babies, but aside from that I was pretty clueless. I didn't know what they stood for or how they showed care. I had no idea that I, as a future midwife, get to be an empowerer. I get to educate, influence, counsel and encourage women in how to be incredible mothers. In doing so, I get to teach these woman how to be daughters. I get to teach women how to care for themselves and for their children. I get to coach fathers in honoring their wives and loving their kids. I get to carry hope and diminish fear in people's homes. I get to teach people to love and be loved. As women, our bodies were made fully capable of giving birth. I get to release that truth and call out strength and identity.
As wonderful as that all sounds, I cannot deny that I am completely terrified at the idea of tying myself down for long periods of time. Turns out my commitment issues are real. This is where I'm learning to lean into that sweet peace, trusting that the Lord knows my heart and my love for spontaneous adventure. The glory is that midwives are needed all over the world! At this point in time Boise seems to be my spot. Aside from the days where I desperately miss the sea, I'm very much ok with that.
Over the last three months I got to experience the full beauty (and chaos) that comes with community living. I lived in a house full of girls and it truly was so wonderful. Sure, it got annoying and tiring and sometimes ya just want 5 minutes of alone time, but those girls blessed my life in so many ways. I will say that after living with ten other midwifery students I find that I've become extremely immune to discussing things that others may find offensive or even repulsive. On several occasions I've had to stop myself from talking about things that, well, aren't exactly suitable dinner conservation. Sorry, but our bodies are so freaking cool and sometimes I just feel like the whole world needs to know what they can do!
I am currently posted up on the East coast soaking up every ounce of Christmas break. It's so fun having such a legit fam to do life with. This time of year is truly the best. I mean how could anyone beat Egg Nog milkshakes from Cookout and Home Alone on repeat? It just doesn't get better. When break is over I will be heading back to Boise where the hands-on part of my school will begin. Bring on the babies!!
