Ashlie Miller

By Ashlie Miller

Like a modern, online edition of the white pages, it is easy to learn someone’s family surname or maiden name, thanks to Facebook. You may find many family tree members through just a few clicks on sites like ancestry.com. Last names and family trees have always fascinated me – from where they are derived and their prominence in certain countries, states, and regions.

The family who welcomed me after my father died and my mother remarried was the Lawrence family. Most of my life, I recall seeing a framed, cross-stitched piece that said, “A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches… (Proverbs 22:1)” in my Grandparents’ home.

I have witnessed this truth within this family, well-known for embracing as family those who were not family by blood – foster children, adopted children, step-grandchildren, and close friends. If you speak this name in the towns nearby, you are met with a positive response. Every time. It is not a family of extravagant means, but there is extravagant love. There is integrity in this name, good character, and godly wisdom. 

But not all of us were blessed with “good names” in our family of origin. There may be generations of hurt, betrayal, and even hate that our family name connotes. Shame at mentioning the last name. Maybe an association with an infamous family name raises an eyebrow at the checkout line. You may avoid using that name when placing an order.

It could be that you have not rightfully earned the honor that comes with your family name of origin. You may live in shame for bringing disgrace upon those who have loved you well. When others find out to whom you belong, there is a moment of disbelief that you are their child or grandchild. You were brought up better, after all. 

Is there hope? Can we ever lift our heads? Yes! In Revelation 2:17, God speaks of giving to those who overcome (those who have trusted Christ as Savior and have endured) a white stone with a new name written upon it.

When we trade the identity we were born with for a new spiritual identity and are called “Christian,” we receive a name that we do not earn but one that is gifted to us by grace. When our Father looks at us, He sees His child. He bestows us love and blessing that we could not merit alone. We want to live in a way that reflects that name and brings honor. Sometimes, we may stumble and cause others to wonder in disbelief that we belong to Him, but He loves us and can transform us. 

Have you thought about not only who you are but whose you are? How has a “good name” brought you comfort and given you renewed purpose?

Ashlie Miller and her family of 7 of live in Concord, NC. You can share with her about your family story by contacting her on ashliemiller.com.

By Ashlie Miller

Let us begin with a controversial statement – watermelon tastes best sprinkled with salt. I can already see the email notifications lighting up! I am a Southern gal raised in Southern ways. My earliest watermelon feasts occurred at my grandparents’ home on Sam Wilson Road in Charlotte. We would sit at a newspaper-covered picnic table adorned with dull knives and a salt shaker. Today, I still prefer a watermelon with salt. It enhances the flavor, whether it is already sweet or needs some help.

Any food connoisseur, from the home cook to the high-end chef to the passive foodie, could list many foods whose flavor is enhanced by a pinch of salt – bitter coffee or chocolate, sour grapefruit, even a salad. Although a common seasoning, it does extraordinary things. It both suppresses less-than-desirable or offensive flavors and enhances the lovely ones.

It is no wonder that Jesus refers to salt when He commands His followers to be the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13) or when Paul says to season our conversations with salt (Colossians 4:6).

Salt is helpful in many ways – gardening, cleaning, preserving, and offering sacrifices; it was even a commodity in ancient economies. As Christians, we can see many metaphors of how that relates to our walk in Christ among the people we encounter daily. However, as we finally officially enter summer and you likely will pick up a watermelon to enjoy, let us consider how we can add flavor to our conversations and relationships with others.

If salt suppresses things that are not desirable – like conflict – how can I diffuse such things in conversations? I could avoid partaking in a juicy piece of gossip under the guise of a prayer request. It may mean that I speak up for someone not around to defend themselves. It may also mean avoiding flattery – speaking kind things to someone’s face that I would not say about them to others – with the intention of personal gain.

If, like salt, we are to enhance the desirable flavors of things – how can I intentionally work towards edifying someone? I might send someone a note of encouragement on a job well done or a thank you for a kind gesture extended my way. I may see someone who is down or struggling through life and pray with them or speak life into their spirit. Sharing scripture is a great way to succeed in that.

Although, like salt, we may be merely common, we know that God chooses to use the simple to confound the wise (1 Corinthians 1:27). By observing something as humble as salt, we know that a little can go a long way in making a profound impact on the lives of others. We do not have to wonder about what profound things we can say. When we walk in the Word and pray to our Father in heaven, we can have confidence in the words He can use to suppress the bad and bring out the good.

What steps can I take today to be the right pinch of salt, balancing conversations to point upward toward Christ and eternal things and outward for the good and building up of others?

Tune in next week for more controversial statements like – pineapple on pizza is delicious! (I kid, I kid).

Ashlie Miller enjoys her salty watermelons on the back porch of her Concord home with her husband and 5 children. You can contact her on mrs.ashliemiller.com to let her know if you prefer your watermelon with or without salt.

By Ashlie Miller

While many meet Mother’s Day with joy and appreciation, Father’s Day often comes differently. There may be situations where the father is not physically or emotionally present in the home. Father’s Day has always been a little different for me because my father passed away when he and I were young. Due to the unique circumstances of his upbringing, I do not have a connection to his ancestors or close friends from his childhood. Because he died young, few adult friends can share memories with me.

For many years, I struggled in my grief process. Like many of my generation, I have few photos of my dad or me with him, nor do I have many material possessions that belonged to him. There are not many tangible mementos to prompt my recollections. As you can imagine, and maybe experience yourself, I yearn to have memories that keep him alive in my heart and mind. I am grateful for those who did know him and who share memories – any memories – with me so that I can envision who he was.

There are many studies regarding the antidote that gratitude can be for depression and anxiety. Remembering good things and expressing thankfulness for a person or a season in life can be a salve to soothe aching hearts. In the Bible, Paul often begins his letters with gratitude for the people he is writing to. He mentions remembering and giving thanks for them even when he is about to confront a problem. Gratitude helps. Psalm 112:6 talks of how the righteous will be remembered forever. Again, when we reflect on their memories, gratitude helps.

This Father’s Day, I am asking you to do something for yourself or someone else who may not have their father on this side of eternity and will approach this day with sadness. First, reminisce with gratitude that you had your father for as long as you did – the gift God gave you in giving Dad to you. Reflect on the good moments and even how you overcame the tough ones. Let the gratitude slowly melt away that sadness.

Secondly, ask others for their memories of your loved one. It can be cathartic, and you can often learn things that will encourage your heart about your loved one that you never knew. Through small stories, I have learned how sweet and kind my father was and how he was easy to be around.

Finally, if you know someone who has lost a father either recently or decades ago, would you consider sharing a favorite memory about that person with the loved one? It does not matter how small or trivial it is to you. That memory can add to the tapestry of who the person was to those around them. If the person helped direct you or guided you in a way others may not know, share that. Express your gratitude for the role – however small or profound – that they had in your life. Those impactful memories will impact their loved ones today.

These types of memorial days can be overwhelming to many people. We can seize the moment to allow thankfulness to do its work in us or help others along the way to grow through the lifelong process of grief. We can help make it a Happier Father’s Day.

Ashlie Miller is the daughter of the late James T. Hughes, who lived an all too brief but important life in North Carolina and served as a Marine.

By Ashlie Miller

While many proclaim the joys of autumn, for others, the fall brings a sense of dread of living through dark, cold isolation. I can recall dreading the season when I lived in a house with fewer windows than I have now, feeling suffocated by the lack of light. 

While reading through the Gospel of John with our church in both large gatherings and small groups recently, I came to a scene of such darkness and hopelessness. I wonder if you can relate. 

It had been dark – not just that early morning, not just at midday a couple of days before – but in the atmosphere of the brothers, those who had followed closely. Though Jesus communicated that He would not be the political messiah or social justice warrior their people longed for to ease their pain, they still hoped there would be more. Mary Magdalene had also followed closely, watching the One who had forgiven her, radically changed her, and truly loved her give sight to the blind, heal the sick, and even raise the dead. Perhaps she had also hoped with wonder at this strange idea of a “the kingdom.” But no, all that was gone – brutally killed and buried. 

Wrecked with grief, she does the one thing she can to continue serving Jesus, going through the motions of ministering to Him, even if it were an empty charade now. It was still dark – at the tomb and in her spirit – but surely it could not get worse. Wait! The immovable rock sealing the tomb has been moved. Had someone arrived before her, stepping into the cherished role of caring for His body? NO! His body is missing! She runs to the disciples, hoping they can help her make sense of this tragedy upon a tragedy. As two of them have their own experience at the tomb, Mary is still perplexed, unable to understand it all now. Absorbed in tears that further cloud her mind and vision, she sits outside the grave, squinting to see men in white sitting in the tomb. One asks why she weeps. Choking down tears as she tries to call out His name, she can only say that she does not know who has taken her Lord and where they have laid Him. 

Then, another man, coming out from among the flowers, asks why the tears and for whom she is looking. Again, she pleads for answers so she can serve, the one thing that can bring her joy at this point. Then, with clarity, this gardener, this tender of the soil and growing, living things, says one simple word – “Mary.” The name was common enough during that time, but the One speaking it makes the difference. She knows that voice and realizes the speaker knows her. He is not dead! Hope is not lost! The darkest night and morning are over! Though gentle and lowly in heart, He is the mighty conquering victor over death and the grave! 

Things are very different now. No longer needlessly going through the motions of service, she can serve joyfully at promises fulfilled, hope and peace being present in a Person. 

It may seem odd to write about the resurrection in autumn. But in a season marked with things fading and a future glimpse of the coming season marked by little to no life, you may be painfully reminded of a personal season marked with much darkness, sadness, and loneliness. Your judgment is off. You want to believe what you know is true, but so much in your face screams otherwise. Tears are not cleansing – they are clouding. Take heart – the Lord sees and is not far off. Cry out those tears of honesty and frustration! He hears. He will call your name soon. Continue to serve. It may seem routine, but it is the best thing you can do now. Recall God’s past faithfulness to His promises.

However, remember the only way to recall what is true is to abide in the truth. God’s Word is that unchanging, life-giving Truth. 

Ashlie Miller is wife to Chad (a pastor in Charlotte) and homeschooling mom to five children in Concord, NC. You may contact her at ashliemiller.com.