Ashlie Miller

By Ashlie Miller

I remember when our first Christmas ornament broke. Literally, the first ornament my husband and I received. It was either for our wedding or at Christmas, and I think my mom purchased it from a lady who was just beginning a business with painting doodle characters on ornaments and personalizing them. It was cute, and many families in our area had them. You may even have a very similar adornment on your tree today.

During the early years of our marriage, we had survived a stage 3 cancer, rocky finances (thanks in part to bills for experimental treatment not covered by insurance but effective nonetheless), and learning to communicate as a couple. We were fragile. Things felt unsteady at times. And then, the ornament – a symbol of our covenant – was broken. It hit me like, well, a ton of bricks on a glass ornament! I was certainly more emotional over evergreen decor than seemed normal, but we did not replace the shattered bauble. I learned to move on with life and realize that our marriage was much more secure than a temporal symbol.

Since then, we have had many broken ornaments. So many that we have an annual ornament hospital bin that gets attention either by me or my go-to fixer (my middle son). Usually, the ornament is salvageable with a bit of super glue or E-6000 glue. We no longer buy glass ornaments that shatter.

Many other broken things come to the surface during the holidays. No doubt, you have your own sense of woe and sadness. Cherished loved ones who have passed. Estranged relationships. Boundaries of time and distance that create difficulty in connecting with family relationships; one cannot be two places at once, and has to make a choice. Loss in other ways – jobs, health, stability in some way.

In another week, those who do not know the joy and stillness of the 12 days of Christmas leading to Epiphany will begin to experience longing, sadness, and depression as things come to an end. The gifts are given, the gatherings cease for another year, and a bleak and weary winter seems to loom (despite the sunshine on Christmas Day). Even my youngest children talk of post-Christmas blues.

Christmas is a season of hope, long after the joy has passed. Jesus appeared in a broken-down stable in a manger to one day restore the broken relationships each of us has with God. O Holy Night is a song worth revisiting, with stars (special for this momentous occasion) shining brightly amidst a world riddled with a history of “sin and error pining” since Adam and Eve’s exodus from Eden. But then, Jesus “appeared and the soul felt its worth.” Wow, “felt its worth” – do we really? The Glory of heaven left that perfect place to come redeem and restore our relationship with God. He loves us that deeply. This should do something for our identity and sense of worth. The “thrill of hope” that we no longer have to live in our brokenness can lead to our own “weary world rejoicing!”

This week, you may have more gatherings that remind you of loss and brokenness. It can take one’s breath away and even make us unable to speak or fully engage as we may have done at one time. You may have to celebrate in solitude, where once there was a houseful of celebration. But one thing has not changed: there is still a “thrill of hope” within our grasp if we can see it. Embrace that, even if quietly, amidst the broken ornaments.

By Ashlie Miller

When my husband and I were first married, it was very different from the advice given today before marriage: “Have all your ducks in a row, finish college, establish a stable career, have no or little debt, and maybe one of you should already have a house.” No, we barely had two nickels to rub together! But we had love and a covenant of faithfulness, and that was enough. But love and covenant don’t always leave room in the budget for extras, and our first few Christmases together were tight. Buying a tree to decorate for a few weeks was out of the question. Still, we managed a tabletop metal ornamental tree that we still have, with a few special ornaments we liked.

As I mentioned before, we gift a special ornament to each child around Christmastime. They will have a little start for their own trees one day. Over the years, I, too, have collected favorite ornaments for myself. I began to notice a pattern in what I acquired – wooden, maybe metal, mostly nativities or characters from the nativity, globes, stars, and sometimes those reflecting our own travels or vacations. Some were gifted by family or friends who share my affection for nativities and Christ-centered decor. Others were snagged during after-Christmas clearance days at Hobby Lobby. Several ornaments made their way to our tree through visits to The Cove in Asheville, the Billy Graham Library, or while serving at Operation Christmas Child.

Although I did not set out to have a themed tree, these items adorn the main tree in our living room as a gospel testimony, and it has taken a lifetime to decorate, patiently accumulating the collection. It is fitting, really, when you consider what this season – no, what this life – is all about. This tree reflects a promise and prophecies thousands of years in the making. It was a plan established before the dawn of time as we all know it. A promise that God would fulfill to make a way for all people to have access to God through His most precious gift – His Son, who was already truly God and would step down from heaven to become truly man.

While many argue over whether or not a Christmas tree (or Christmas in general) is pagan, the glow of my tree, adjacent to the glow of my gas logs, radiates a daily reminder of Christ’s amazing sacrifice of leaving the glory of heaven and taking the form of lowly humanity. What a brilliant way to begin quiet time with a hot cup of tea and an open Bible alive with the fulfilled prophecies of the Advent of the first coming of Jesus to earth! It is no wonder that many of us experience January blues after putting away such symbols of God’s faithfulness to His covenant.

How does your Christmas decor speak hope and faithfulness to you or to others? Slow down and make time to soak in or share the message of the Advent season through the gifts that something as simple as your Christmas tree. And keep your eye out for a humble nativity to adorn its branches.

Ashlie Miller and her family deck the halls in Concord, NC. You may email her at mrs.ashliemiller@gmail.com.

By Ashlie Miller

The Thanksgiving sandwich. It is legendary, at least at my house. Maybe it is a shepherd’s pie, a casserole, a chili, or a stew at yours. After all those hours and days of work, who wants to see any of that effort go to waste? Those who know me well know that I can make whole new recipes from a couple of leftover meals. Those veggies will become a broth in a couple of weeks! Last night’s take-out will be breakfast once I put an over-medium egg on top of it! A Thanksgiving breakfast hash with an egg on top is a thing of beauty. 

It is not only comforting to me to reuse leftovers, but it feels rewarding to keep things out of the trash. Everything can be useful; nothing is wasted. To others, leftovers stay in the fridge until a layer of penicillin grows, with no desire to revisit that meal. I think it is all in the presentation, myself, whether leftovers are nourishing or feel like nothing special.

I am thankful God does not waste anything. Because He is sovereign, even the wrong turns we take on the path, the losses, and disappointments He redeems and uses in His own way to bring glory to His name (and He has many – Redeemer, Provider, Restorer, Healer, to name a few). 

It does not always feel true during the roughest seasons of our lives. Unlike the delight of enjoying the smoked turkey that my friend spent half an evening and morning preparing for us to enjoy, going through trials often leaves us wanting. Maybe we have invested time into something or someone and see no harvest, or worse yet, a devastating loss – a job position we did not receive, a relationship that failed, a child who rejects parental love.  Maybe it was willfully sinning and making decisions that not only lead to regrets but a life that is forever altered. 

But with God, that is not the end of the story. Sometimes we see a reversal that we had faith to believe would happen because we know God completes what He begins. Maybe we see the door God opened up because one was allowed to close. A relationship may have a more loving ending than it appeared possible several years ago. Or, we may not see on this side of heaven a complete restoration of losses, but heavenly glory awaits those who know Jesus as Savior. What a glorious thought!

God gives abundant grace! He knows our frame is but dust (fragile). While simple leftovers from the Lord would be more than sufficient, and He does not waste anything, the wonderful thing about God is that He has new mercies daily. That’s far better than anything we could warm over and present afresh. Better than simply making the best of things. 

Now, don’t mind me, I still have some breakfast hash with sweet potatoes and Brussel sprouts and a couple of Thanksgiving sandwiches to assemble this weekend. 

By Ashlie Miller

I’m embarrassed to admit it, but there was a time when I did not express gratitude as I should. It was not because we were lower middle class (or were we upper lower class?) and did not have many possessions. We had what we needed plus a little, and even a poor church mouse can be cheery and worship with gratitude. Although we often look down upon the youth of today and their sense of entitlement, I think there were plenty of us who took things for granted – that what we needed or desired would be provided. Full stop. 

Thankfully, some mentors in my life who bore with me – a teenager with 90s angst – continued to pour into me, treating me to meals, unexpected shopping trips, or other times together. When one young mom took me for an afternoon treat, I remember it was not until after I had made it back home that I realized I had not even thanked her for making time for me. Gratitude is like a muscle to work. When we do not practice it, it atrophies. Though I had learned to worship God in the church, I had not exercised gratitude in the marketplace and in my daily life. I was really weak in that area. Thankfully, that moment became a turning point. 

Fast forward – for years, my mother had inexpensive, vinyl tablecloths adorning her Thanksgiving tables along with Sharpies for guests to write notes of their reflections on the last year and why they were thankful this year. We can see the progress over time of grandchildren and the seasons of life of each family unit. Hand-tracings, sometimes shaped into a turkey, represent the hands that are too little to write. There are notes from those who were guests that year, many of whom have now passed away, making the $5 tablecloth invaluable. 

You may have your own gratitude tradition – a decorative stick tree with paper leaves marking thanks; a journal filled in by family members; social media posts expressing reflections throughout the month; circling the room to share testimonies. It can also be much more subdued, with taking a moment for one person to say grace while looking back at what the family as a whole has come through that year. 

As previously mentioned, five different Thanksgiving gatherings await my family this year. As a Christian, I am aware that Sundays are not the only day to worship. Nor is Thanksgiving the only special day for expressing gratitude, but intentional gatherings marked by thanks can effectively set us up for a rhythm of offering praise to our Provider. 

My youngest child often loves to end a meal with a gratitude game we play. He delights in getting it out for us. I am sure part of it is childlike delight in playing a game with the family, but the result is practicing praise. If gratitude is a muscle to exercise, I am excited to see how strong my children could be if they continue to work this routine of thankfulness. 

You may be approaching the coming week as just another full week of gatherings. That could be all it is for you. The idea of exercising anything in a week of total consumption is not inviting. What if you practice exercising your gratitude before your gatherings? What difference could what you give (thanks) make in your personal takeaway for the holiday ? 

By Ashlie Miller

Divorce, death of a loved one, relocation, and having to work on holidays. Many seasons of life can transform holiday gatherings. I remember as young parents, the logistical gymnastics it took to get three boys ages five and under to multiple Thanksgiving dinners. His dad’s side, his mom’s side, my side, usually within about 24-36 hours! I often stressed at the thought of making it to each place intact with any amount of appetite left to receive the endeavors of the cook graciously. Then, there was balancing multiple plates while discouraging little hands from touching all the biscuits and rolls (because, let’s face it, that is all they wanted, regardless of how much effort went into the turkey and dressing). Don’t even get me started on getting through it all with no naps. But over the years, due to changes in the seasons of life, gatherings may be fewer in attendance, and some have even completely dissolved over time (who wants to take over hosting now that Grandma has passed?). 

Time brings more transitions, and again, we find ourselves with multiple gatherings to attend. This year is probably record-setting for us with five: a Friendsgiving begins our festivities, followed by three consecutive family gatherings, and topped off by a church family celebration. I no longer have to balance multiple plates, and the loss of loved ones over the years brings a new appreciation for the numerous gatherings, even if my introverted spirit will need a week to recover afterwards. 

“Won’t you get tired of the same meal repeated five times?!” you may be asking. Actually, a traditional Thanksgiving meal is probably my favorite menu. Yes, each of the gatherings will likely have several vegetable sides (both green and starches like sweet potato casserole), stuffing or dressing (there is a difference, and I prefer the latter if given the choice), rolls, a turkey, of course, a few other miscellaneous sides, and a full dessert table (which, depending on the household, may include sweet potato casserole if not considered a vegetable). 

You likely have similar tables and multiple gatherings, but that is where the similarities in the gatherings end. The reflections of gratitude, abundance, and grace will vary at each location. One place may be filled with fun and games, laughter, and the joy of the time together, unwinding with the people you feel most comfortable with. Though gratitude is not expressed in words, there is a common understanding of what you have been through together. Another stop may reflect getting through tough times – want and need, loss of various kinds, working through grief or other sorrow. It may be quieter and more awkward, but a different measure of grace is present. You may be blessed with a gathering that is straightforward and intentional with expressing praise to the Creator and Provider through testimony, writing it out on a placemat or leaves for a gratitude tree, or casually sharing stories of sustenance over the past year. Not every place is easy, though, is it? You may be gathering where the focus is the meal, not the people, nor the Great Provider. Tensions are strained. You wonder why you even show up. Perhaps the grace is what comes after leaving and realizing the gift of the solace, though imperfect it may be, of the home you have built away from where you grew up.

I’m not sure how many feasts are on your schedule. Whether you approach them with reluctance or with eagerness, there is room for grace and gratitude in as much variety as the sides that accompany the turkey. Just be looking for it. 

Ashlie Miller will be giving thanks in Cabarrus and Rowan County. Nothing could be finer! You may contact her at mrs.ashliemiller@gmail.com.

By Ashlie Miller

Walking to the mailbox once was a thing of expectant joy that maybe this will be the day I receive something lovely. Not a bill, junk mail, an HOA note stuck to the flag, not a solicitation – a note from a friend. The closest thing most of us see to that is a text from out of the blue, and those are welcome, too. But, a couple of times a year for easily a decade, maybe longer, the reward for a short walk to the mailbox has been a card from a lady named Trudy who sends us cards with a handwritten note of thoughtfulness. We are not special, but Trudy is – I know many benefit from her personal card encouragement ministry. 

Unlike a text, cards not only give me an initial moment to pause, but, for as long as it adorns the table, there are further moments of gratitude for the thoughtfulness behind the card-giver.

It is a given that November is a month to pause for gratitude. Of course, there is the holiday of Thanksgiving, which often prompts us to look for daily devotions or even to make gratitude posts on social media. We also have Veterans’ Day – a time to properly acknowledge those still among us who have given much of their life to serve and sacrifice on our behalf. 

I cannot think of a better position to be in than that of a heart of gratitude before entering a season of giving and receiving, acknowledging the past blessings before looking to the future blessings. We already know that thankful, content people are some of the happiest people, and I’m willing to bet they are also some of the most cheerful givers and appreciative receivers when December comes around. 

While we do make efforts in our home to be intentional to send out thank you cards for specific moments in life, I could do a better job modeling everyday gratitude that extends beyond a quick thank you text. There is something special, intentional, and sacred about sitting down to write in a card I either have on hand or go out to purchase, finding an address and a stamp (which may still have last year’s holiday theme on it), and placing it in my mailbox with the flag up. When I receive a handwritten note, I realize that someone else has thoughtfully gone through the same process. 

The coming 7 weeks or so are already overscheduled. We all agree that we are too busy. It is a setup for anxiety, frustration, and maybe even a desire to hurry up and get through it. Asking to have a good attitude through it, never mind a cheerful one, may seem like too much to ask. But maybe taking time to share gratitude for someone in our lives intentionally could help change the way we enter another hectic end to another year that flew by too quickly.

I would guess that our friend Trudy has a pretty merry holiday season. Thanks, Trudy, for being such an encouragement to so many. 

Pardon me for being in a hurry, I’m off to pick up some thank-you cards.

By Ashlie Miller

The past week, with all its dreariness, sogginess, and chill, either set you up to feel cozy and restful or possibly miserable, and dare I say depressed? Our first home was in Landis, a cozy little house in a cozy little town. However, the few small windows where the sun would shine through were not enough to overcome gloomy days for me. There were other issues, I am sure that accompanied that – a husband whose role at his job began to require lots of travel while I was home with three small boys under the age of 5. 

I dreaded the time change because there would be less sun, less time to get them all outside, and let their energy loose. Can’t we just have springs and summers? And why these semi-annual time changes? I thought they were going to end that! 

Where would we be without these seasonal changes? Not necessarily the time changes (which most people question), but actual seasonal changes, including the dark, slow, cold ones. 

One does not have to be acquainted with agrarian life to understand that cycles are life: transformation, growth, dormancy, buds, flowers, fruit, seed. Even the animals take note of what each season offers them: mating, eggs and hatchlings, migration, metamorphosis, gathering, and hibernation. 

As the most unique of all creation, and those ordained to rule over all of the rest of creation, sometimes, as humans, we push ourselves to carry on through each season with no lull in tempo. That can be true in the literal astronomical seasons and in the seasons of life. For some, it is hard to imagine or purposely plan a season of rest when there is always so much to do. Besides, hard work is rewarding! Others who regularly enjoy a life of – well, let me put it nicely – leisure, may view entering a season of hard work and growth as a traumatic life experience.

God gave us equinoxes and solstices for the good of the land and its inhabitants. How could we make the most of more time inside – more rest and solitude, time to take up new hobbies or finish household projects, time for reflection, for example?

Likewise, God gave us seasons of life – plenty or lacking, health or illness, riches or poverty, ease or struggle, to name a few. How can we lean into the gifts and grace of those seasons that the Creator has already provided and appointed?

We are in the middle of the fall season, the beginning of shorter days, and approaching an even colder, bleaker season. Our personal lives in general may be in a season of energy and joy or exhaustion and sadness. How can we take stock of those intervals and receive the gift that is already afforded? 

It takes time, awareness, and intentionality, but the rewards can be sweet in their own ways. 

Ashlie Miller hopes to read more books, improve in a new hobby, and finally get the attic better organized in the coming months. You may share your plans with her at mrs.ashliemiller@gmail.com.

By Ashlie Miller

Looking at my social media scroll this week,  I wouldn’t have thought there would be so much talk about monarchy – kings or no kings, and crowns. Though no king or queen rules us, the idea of monarchy still captivates the thoughts of many – just ask any American anglophile the latest about the British monarchy.

It is a tale as old as time, almost quite literally. In the Old Testament, we see a chosen people led by a theocracy – by God alone. God sets His people apart, but they don’t like that. They want to be ruled by an earthly king. Though warned of the oppression it would bring upon the people, God allowed the prophet Samuel to make a king for them. Saul proved to be a miserable king. David, the man after God’s own heart, was imperfect – failing morally, as a parent, and as a leader. His son, Solomon, though credited as the wisest man to live, was only halfway committed to the ways of God. As promised, oppression and disaster ensued for the people of Israel. An earthly king may have been what they wanted, but it isn’t what they needed. 

If we are all honest, we all do want a king. We daily crown or dethrone people on social media. We either long for the Eternal King to make things right or fight to put ourselves on the throne of our hearts, ruling oftentimes defiantly against the order He established during Creation. One way or another, the fight for a monarchy is our life’s pursuit. 

Then, there is the pursuit of the crown itself. I am sure time (and a gripping Hollywood script) will tell us more about the Louvre heist of the crown jewels and how on earth they dropped the crown, but what a picture for how temporal even the greatest riches are. The race is on to recover the jewels before they are cut into smaller, less valuable pieces. 

Christ encourages us to lay up treasures that moth and rust can’t destroy, nor thieves can rob and steal (Matthew 6:19). Even if we guard our earthly treasures, we can’t take them with us (too late to ask the French queens) or ensure their protection after we are departed. The only lasting treasures are eternal endeavors, and a crown awaits the saints. How do we measure the value and permanence of such treasures?

What crowns are we chasing today? Sure, it may be superficial success, fleeting fame or influence, or a facade of eternal beauty and youth. Or it may be something more practical, like security, safety, control, and certainty. 

After my husband and I visited the Louvre in Paris, I read about the Mona Lisa and its fame. Before it was stolen in 1911, many would not have even been able to describe or pick out the Mona Lisa. More people visited the empty wall where the Mona Lisa once hung than came to see it in the years before. I remember seeing the French Crown Jewels in the Galarie d’Apollon with a smaller crowd than those getting selfies with Mona Lisa. I wonder, once the gallery reopens, how many will flock to see what is no longer there—fleeting riches. 

Will our hearts be empty cases of perishable riches or filled with treasure yet to be fully known? Who will wear the crown on the throne of our hearts? We get to decide. 

By Ashlie Miller

While many are trekking to farms to select the perfect pumpkin, my family was behind on getting to the apple orchard. As my husband puts it, “You don’t go to an apple orchard because you need apples. If you need apples, you go to the grocery store.” This excursion was to connect with our adult son in Western NC at a midway point where we could enjoy lots of time together for the day – Hendersonville, NC. 

Because it is nearing the end of the apple-picking season, we should have considered the scavenger hunt that lay ahead of us. For several rows, it was more like a search for one good apple. Fermented, rotting apples blanketed the ground beneath the trees. They were beauties from a distance. Bright reds and supple greens. But for human consumption, they were less than desirable – riddled with holes, yellow jackets, other bugs, and mushy. 

After hiking several rows back and moving toward the center of the rows, we victoriously discovered ripe apples in abundance on the trees. It took no time for a family of 7 to fill up a bushel box. 

There are so many words to describe a delicious apple: crisp, tart or sweet, crunchy, juicy, delectable, rosy, or maybe golden, shiny, ripe. Those aren’t separate things, but multiple characteristics – each one as important as the other – of one fruit.

Such is the case with the fruit of the Spirit. Rather than some Christians having one variety of fruit and others having another, each should be growing in all aspects through their journey of sanctification. At first glance, Galatians 5:22-23 looks like a list of things a Christian should achieve by hard work. But another list, the works of the flesh in verses 19-21, are the exhausting works of sensuality, never bringing the satisfaction of the fruit that God brings forth in the life of a Christian believer. 

“Ah, but I know many nonChristians who display love, joy, patience, etc.” God, in His goodness, has given common grace to all humanity. After all, God made each of us in His image. Since He is a God of love, joy, patience, etc., it is only natural that His creation would display some of those qualities. But much like the rotting fruit on the ground, separated from the tree, those qualities eventually disintegrate. An earthly, temporal display of love and goodness is not the same as an enduring, eternal fruit of love and goodness. 

Further, when we focus on the fruit rather than God, we work by our own efforts to have something that resembles fruit. And that work leads to sins of debauchery and taking things into our own hands to manipulate what looks like love, joy, and goodness. In the upside-down world we manifest, that ends up looking like perversions of love, spiritual efforts that deny God’s authority, and a multitude of offenses in our relationship with others (again, see Galatians 5:19-21 for that list). 

Works of the flesh are exhausting and unfulfilling because it is a result of my own narcissism. It pretends to care about others, but really, it is an effort to heal myself or prove myself to others by my own efforts. Fruit is evidence of the submission of the work of the Holy Spirit when I focus on God first and then others. One of these things pretends to love others but idolizes self at the expense of others; the other is true selfless, sacrificial love that trusts God to provide all good things to and through us as His children.

By Ashlie Miller

“I’m very thankful for the wasp nests that were on our dryer vent,” my husband said at the dinner table this week as we all thought back on the busy week (and it was only Wednesday). We all nodded in agreement. We have something called a “graticube,” a wooden hexagonal cube with gratitude prompts to encourage positive family discussions gathered around the table. 

Earlier in the day, a dryer vent cleaner company inspected our vent system. Our biggest concern was the wasp nest we could see building just outside the attic. We noticed it at the end of last winter but were assured by others that the wasps likely died out and would not come back to this nest. However, we began noticing wasps again recently. 

After attempting to remedy this ourselves (thanks to Google and YouTube), we finally called in the professionals. We learned that our issue was bigger than wasp nests (yes, plural, they discovered). The central hose leading out evidently had not adequately been installed, then disconnected sometime since we moved in, resulting in a heavy dusting of – you guessed it – lint dust!

While we certainly were not delighted with the estimate for repair and cleanup, we understood why my husband was thankful for the wasp nests. They could have chosen any spot around our home and wooded back yard, but chose the one place that had a bigger issue that needed our attention.

It reminded me of Corrie ten Boom’s story about fleas. For those unfamiliar, her family, who were watchmakers, famously hid Jews in their home during the German occupation in the Netherlands to protect them from arrest and being sent to prison and concentration camps. Eventually, Corrie’s family, including her sister Betsie, was sent to Ravensbrücke – a concentration camp with filthy, overcrowded barracks. Things were very bleak, but the sisters secretly shared portions of the Bible with their many bunkmates, an act and book completely forbidden. Still, finding things to offer praise and gratitude for was minimal.

In the midst of their intense suffering, Betsie reminded her sister that they should be grateful in all circumstances, a challenge Corrie found impossible with the brutality of the soldiers, worse than poor living conditions, and the bleakness of the situation that offered no hope. Corrie reminded her sister that even their mattresses were full of fleas and lice. “I simply cannot be grateful for fleas and lice,” she said. Betsie responded, “But you must.” A short time later, they learned that the reason the guards never visited their overcrowded room was that they were disgusted by the prospect of catching lice or fleas. Who knows how many women received hope and encouragement through the gospel because of this blessed misfortune? 

So, there’s a challenge for the coming week – what minor annoyance (in the grand scheme of things) actually was for your good or a blessing to others? Can you see where God permitted things that are ultimately results of our broken and fallen world to draw your attention to bigger issues or a greater blessing? 

Ashlie Miller counts her wasps, er, blessings with her family in Concord, NC. You may email her at mrs.ashliemiller@gmail.com.