Ashlie Miller

By Ashlie Miller

While many proclaim the joys of autumn, for others, the fall brings a sense of dread of living through dark, cold isolation. I can recall dreading the season when I lived in a house with fewer windows than I have now, feeling suffocated by the lack of light. 

While reading through the Gospel of John with our church in both large gatherings and small groups recently, I came to a scene of such darkness and hopelessness. I wonder if you can relate. 

It had been dark – not just that early morning, not just at midday a couple of days before – but in the atmosphere of the brothers, those who had followed closely. Though Jesus communicated that He would not be the political messiah or social justice warrior their people longed for to ease their pain, they still hoped there would be more. Mary Magdalene had also followed closely, watching the One who had forgiven her, radically changed her, and truly loved her give sight to the blind, heal the sick, and even raise the dead. Perhaps she had also hoped with wonder at this strange idea of a “the kingdom.” But no, all that was gone – brutally killed and buried. 

Wrecked with grief, she does the one thing she can to continue serving Jesus, going through the motions of ministering to Him, even if it were an empty charade now. It was still dark – at the tomb and in her spirit – but surely it could not get worse. Wait! The immovable rock sealing the tomb has been moved. Had someone arrived before her, stepping into the cherished role of caring for His body? NO! His body is missing! She runs to the disciples, hoping they can help her make sense of this tragedy upon a tragedy. As two of them have their own experience at the tomb, Mary is still perplexed, unable to understand it all now. Absorbed in tears that further cloud her mind and vision, she sits outside the grave, squinting to see men in white sitting in the tomb. One asks why she weeps. Choking down tears as she tries to call out His name, she can only say that she does not know who has taken her Lord and where they have laid Him. 

Then, another man, coming out from among the flowers, asks why the tears and for whom she is looking. Again, she pleads for answers so she can serve, the one thing that can bring her joy at this point. Then, with clarity, this gardener, this tender of the soil and growing, living things, says one simple word – “Mary.” The name was common enough during that time, but the One speaking it makes the difference. She knows that voice and realizes the speaker knows her. He is not dead! Hope is not lost! The darkest night and morning are over! Though gentle and lowly in heart, He is the mighty conquering victor over death and the grave! 

Things are very different now. No longer needlessly going through the motions of service, she can serve joyfully at promises fulfilled, hope and peace being present in a Person. 

It may seem odd to write about the resurrection in autumn. But in a season marked with things fading and a future glimpse of the coming season marked by little to no life, you may be painfully reminded of a personal season marked with much darkness, sadness, and loneliness. Your judgment is off. You want to believe what you know is true, but so much in your face screams otherwise. Tears are not cleansing – they are clouding. Take heart – the Lord sees and is not far off. Cry out those tears of honesty and frustration! He hears. He will call your name soon. Continue to serve. It may seem routine, but it is the best thing you can do now. Recall God’s past faithfulness to His promises.

However, remember the only way to recall what is true is to abide in the truth. God’s Word is that unchanging, life-giving Truth. 

Ashlie Miller is wife to Chad (a pastor in Charlotte) and homeschooling mom to five children in Concord, NC. You may contact her at ashliemiller.com. 

By Ashlie Miller

Along with crimson reds, warm embers, intensely deep purple leaves, fruits and berries, and pecans & acorns, autumn also brings teachable moments in the brown falling leaves, the winds, and the rains. Many life lessons can be learned in autumn related to change and life cycles. The season provides small examples of how to gently present to children the idea of overwhelming topics like aging and death.

When my teens were very young, I came across this quote: “Youth is like spring, an over-praised season more remarkable for biting winds than genial breezes. Autumn is the mellower season, and what we lose in flowers, we more than gain in fruits.” ~Samuel Butler

When was the last time you stopped to value those in the autumn of their lives? The quote above reflects that embrace. We praise the young for their input and seeming knowledge in our society. We glorify, edify, and value all things in youth culture. Yet, in the passion and ambition of the young, often “biting winds” knock over everything in their path. I was guilty of that as a young teen and adult, viewing those over middle age who appear mellower to have given up, trading vigor for apathy or compromising their passion.

I recall when I was a young parent with little boys eager to venture on an autumn nature walk in the neighborhood. One neighbor had several pecan trees, and we picked up a few from the ground and even from the tree for observation. What a lesson we were about to learn about life and people!

With apologies to columnist Darrell Blackwelder, the actual horticulturalist, I humbly share our observations. Not knowing much about harvesting pecans then, I assumed that anything we saw – green nuts on the tree, fallen nuts on the ground – was all up for grabs and ready to taste. We learned the hard way – pecans are only edible the closer it gets to what looks like rotting (at least to an unlearned observer). Never eat the pecan straight from the tree when it is green – you can’t! It is tough getting into the green casing or husk. If you succeed, the nut is not mature. However, a cracked, wrinkly shell is on the verge of a real treasure.

I learned a lesson that day that I have kept with me and changed how I spend time with people. Spending time with the young as a sounding board is essential as they journey with passion and ignorance. In remembering where I was, I can value where I am and share with them. But what a treasure to spend time with those in autumn years who have perhaps mellowed some but have sweet wisdom!

Titus 2:1-8 provides instruction on that very thing – the older spending time with the younger – both learning and teaching. Consider making space this week to grab coffee with someone outside your age bracket. You may teach or learn something valuable.

Ashlie Miller is grateful to the green ones who pull her out of her routine and share their passion along with their woes as well as the ripe ones who have a sweetness to savor and wisdom to share.

By Ashlie Miller

Do you have that certain itch with the recent transition to autumn – that either has you craving pumpkin spiced latte or warm apple cider, a longing for a bowl of chili and cornbread, and the desire to pull up a seat by the fire pit? Perhaps you want to slow down and spend time with friends and family, embracing the joy that comes with this season’s harvests.

Though I do not come from a Jewish background, I have learned a little about the beauty of Jewish feasts over the years as a homeschooling mom, thanks to the lovely curriculum we have found. We are entering the season of Sukkot, or the Festival of Booths. This marvelous feast is celebrated annually as part of the harvest season outdoors in temporary booths or shelters. During this time of feasting, participants may reflect on the many years their ancestors traveled through the desert and rejoice at God’s provision through that time. While I do not know how closely that relates to our American Thanksgiving, it certainly stirs those feelings in me.

How lovely it must be (and must have been) to regularly join together to feast on the bounty of God’s provision while celebrating with family and friends outside, sharing food. How lovely it can be for us, in this harvest season, to also slow down and invite friends, family, and neighbors to our backyards to savor the goodness of comforting foods and encouraging conversations accompanied by the smells, sights, and other delights only provided in the great outdoors.

I have great memories of times around many campfires either at a campground, on a church property, or in the backyards of friends. I can recall testimonies shared by my elders and being captivated by their stories – some silly and some serious, but both significant to who they have become. I even recall weeping and tears around many campfires – tears of sorrow over sins and tears of joy over victories.

I miss those days, and I hope to reclaim them. We are in such a hurried age of tremendous disconnect despite the personal devices (and vices) that should make us more connected with other people. Does this generation know these simple joys of slowing down, sharing our life stories, and feasting on small, even unimpressive meals – like a bowl of chili – that can provide great comfort and hope? Will it be lost on us? It will if we do not take the initiative.

Stories of God’s faithfulness in the lives of people I know have always encouraged me. Hearing them in intimate places like a backyard campfire makes them unforgettable. Who will help reclaim this joy and share their backyards as a temporary booth for feasting and remembrance to create a permanent place of hope and care?

Ashlie Miller is a pastor’s wife to Chad and a mother of five in Concord, NC. Share your campfire stories with her at ashliemiller.com.

By Ashlie Miller

Do you prefer to immerse yourself in nature or a good book? Students have been discussing general revelation versus special revelation as it relates to knowing God as Creator and Jesus as Savior in a “Foundations in the Faith” class at our homeschool co-op. In case you are unfamiliar with these terms, in Christianity, we believe God reveals attributes of His character through creation. Upon realizing there must be a Creator, we are inclined to pursue finding out Who He is and why He created (as outlined in Romans 1:20-21). This search leads us to the Scriptures to discover these answers, further drawing us to the plan of Salvation through Jesus Christ alone.

Last weekend, to kick off the fall season, our family ventured a couple of hours towards Hendersonville to spend some time at Stepp’s Hillcrest Apple Orchard and then to hike in Dupont State Forest. The apple orchard provides so many “taste and see” opportunities (Psalm 34:8) – all that variety! Why would a Creator delight to give so many flavors and colors of one type of fruit? The joy we receive from slicing into a freshly picked apple or simmering down apples into a sauce is a true gift. Then, hiking a park with several waterfalls is a feast for the senses – the rushing roar of the waterfall, the spectacular splashes we can see and feel, and even the smell of nature. 

My five-year-old son proved that the wonder and awe of these experiences and the presence of a Creator were not lost on him. Watching him discover the sound and the massive power of the energy in the falls as we approached was overwhelming to his small frame. After taking in the sight, his first question was, “Mom, is this heaven?”. He was not parroting an overused phrase. These were the best words he could find to express his joy. Later, throughout the hike, he declared, “This is the best vacation day of my life!”. The wisdom of toddlers and kindergarteners is refreshing! We can learn so much from them. 

What makes your draw drop when you explore nature? Or when was the last time you allowed yourself to wander to wonder? Many “ologists” (biologists, geologists, etc.) get lost in books and theories; I wonder if they miss the awe aspect of what they study, forgetting what likely lured them into the field in the first place.

We in the West have plenty of access to special revelation through Bible apps, multiple translations and versions of the Bible, and ample churches that still teach biblically. However, we must also couple that with general revelation by enjoying God’s creation. 

How can you do that soon? Plan a trip to an apple orchard, a hike, or a drive on the Blue Ridge Parkway. How can you get lost in wonder today? Savor each bite of your food, watch the critters gather for winter, or spend time with a kindergartener in the backyard. I promise you’ll be able to get lost in the wonder of it all!

Ashlie Miller plans to get lost in wonder with her family either in the backyards of Concord, on day trips to hike, or driving for fall foliage color.

By Ashlie Miller

As a teen and young adult, I babysat often. One of the boys I spent time with loved to build obstacle courses through the house – over, under, through, across, around. Challenges like these are fun when you are a child not so much when you are an adult. We see them as impediments and stumbling blocks – sometimes quite literally when our bare feet discover scattered Legos on the floor in the middle of the night!

In the life of a Christian believer, many hindrances can get in the way of doing the things God wants us to do, particularly for others. What obstructs the door of hospitality in our lives?

Anna began hosting within her home with little confidence. Social anxieties can be crippling and feed lies that speak into our hearts – “You are not enough” or “This event will not be impressive.” However, Anna puts faith in who God says she is, leans into what He is asking her to do, and trusts Him to take care of her limitations so that she does not have to rely on herself. She beautifully demonstrates a welcoming atmosphere and engages with each guest, even when there is a houseful, as I have witnessed.

While you, the host, may not be shy, there may be family members in your household who are introverted and can be overwhelmed by too much “peopling” – spending time with people. In Lizzy’s case, one child joins the group for the meal but then is welcome to enjoy the quiet of his room while others receive a dose of hospitality from his Mom. Lizzy still shares hospitality with the child as she takes note of his own needs and addresses and accommodates appropriately, but does not let that obstruct developing this trait in her home.

For some, like Ellie, the hurdle can be fear of lacking the gift of organization and pulling things together just so, though guests do not bear witness to that. The greatest lesson we can learn from our limitations is that simple is better than perfect. Consider that for yourself. When visiting another home, do we truly feel most welcome when everything is ideally in line, or do we feel more like family when flaws are present that we graciously overlook or maybe even embrace? The end goal of hospitality is not to impress but to welcome, include, and have opportunities to express care.

Then, there is the restriction of our personal calendars. Being intentional with hospitality will demand a ready, willing spirit and forethought. Wishful thinking and dreaming of a perfect time and setting can get stuck in a world of intentions. Sometimes, we have to grab life by the calendar, looking at our days, remembering our routines, and scheduling time to connect with others on a specific day. We must also cultivate a life of open hearts and homes to bring people into our routines. We may have to plan preparation or even recovery days if “peopling” drains us (introverts, I’m talking to you…er…us). We may have to push through exhaustion. Still, the end result – sharing the Light of Jesus through personal connection and welcoming others into outlives – is worth it!

What could happen if we looked at our gloriously busy fall and winter seasons ahead of us and planned to include others in our homes? What could change for them, us, our communities, and beyond?

Ashlie Miller navigates literal and figurative obstacles regularly in pursuit of hospitality in her home in Concord. You may contact her at ashliemiller.com.

By Ashlie Miller

Hospitality is intriguing because it is not always the extroverts who have displayed it so well to me and my family. True, biblical hospitality is always more than a serving action; love accompanies the action, not grumbling (1 Peter 4:9) or a mere sense of obligation.

I recently interviewed several ladies from either church or friends who I have witnessed bear this trait remarkably well. Only a couple are self-professed extroverts, while some consider themselves quite shy.

While some of the ladies, like Lizzy, grew up in cultures (like Southern culture) or family environments that did foster hospitality, others did not. What is natural for some is very unnatural for others. So what is the connection? How are extreme opposites in personality and culture willing to lean into their natural gifting or push past their comfort zones to show hospitality?

Lizzy recognized that her mother kept the door open to their home for friends, church groups, and those who were alone during holidays. Now, Lizzy naturally carries on that legacy today.

Likewise, Ellie, a church charter member, recalls the early days of the families attending church needing a place for events. God had blessed her with the perfect home for hosting such events. Rather than keeping that goodness to herself, she sees it as a tool to serve others.

Lydia also uses her gift to uniquely connect with an ever-growing congregation and learn the names of visitors and new attendees. She bakes the most delicious bread each week and surprises select members and visitors alike with a loaf to take home – and we each love it when it is our week to receive the blessing!

Anna’s awareness came about differently, yet in a way that many of us keenly have become aware of in recent years. Covid and the lack of connection gave her time to contemplate how to serve others and grow in Christ. While she opened her home to immediate family, she recognized that God was now prompting her to open that door a little further to others.

During a recent discipleship session, Lacey clearly articulated the “why of hospitality” by sharing that pushing ourselves beyond our comfort zones reflects Christ, who healed the lepers and invited children into His presence. Even when we feel a reservation or are uncomfortable, we must remember we represent Jesus. The world – sinners and saints – need us to show Him to their lives.

So what about you? Do you naturally want to serve others but have been keeping it to a select, very close few? Or, despite your personality being more introspective, even shy, you feel a drawing to step beyond comfort boundaries to glorify the love of Christ to others. There are more obstacles to consider, but we will ponder those another week.

Ashlie Miller has become a social introvert, thanks to her extroverted husband in ministry and the grace of God. You may contact her at ashliemiller.com.

By Ashlie Miller

“Goodbye, Bathtub and Living Room. America’s homes are shrinking.” I read these words myself days after my husband mentioned cities like Charlotte are building new, more affordable homes by cutting rooms like dining rooms and living rooms.

It is a trend we have seen over time. Formal dining rooms have been unused for decades. There used to be formal sitting parlors (or at least I have read about them in old literature) for entertaining guests.

While this trend may reflect the economy and lack of space, particularly in the ever-growing region where we live, I hope we do not see a reduction in the purpose these rooms have served over the years.

Hospitality. That is the word that comes to mind when I think of these rooms. Unfortunately, over time, we have seen families spend more time outside the home to spend time socializing rather than hosting within the home to cultivate relationships with others.

In the book of Titus in the Bible, Paul writes to his young friend in ministry first to be on guard of false teachers. In contrasting the church leaders with these false teachers, Paul lists what they should not be like as well as how these leaders should behave. What are these evidences of their faith in Christ? First on the list – to be hospitable. Merriam-Webster defines the word as “given to generous and cordial reception of guests.” In Christian terms, it means loving the stranger, entertaining them, particularly fellow Christians, and sharing the gospel as they pass through.

It is interesting to note that this is first on the list of how elders should behave. The list does not begin with what the world may consider success, which usually is a material, worldly measurement. Hospitality is within the grasp of any person, but especially for the Christian called to love others as himself (found in the Great Commandment in Matthew 22:37-39). Sadly, too many visitors to the church or those with whom we regularly come into contact could say this is a characteristic lacking within both the home and church and, sadly, even in church leadership. While Christian leaders may seem well-qualified in certain areas of success and achievement, our lack of hospitality is blinding. Others cannot see our message due to our lack of generosity and “cordial reception.” How often have we witnessed guests who seemingly enjoy a service or even fellowship only to leave because of a lack of hospitality, genuine kindness, and concern for their well-being?

If the shrinking size of homes is any indicator, we have become more obsessed with entertaining ourselves and being consumers in pursuit of autonomy. Independent. Not needing others to bring fulfillment to our daily routine, nor to encourage them on their journey.

Though our house size may be shrinking, I pray we will further open our homes to entertaining strangers who may one day become friends and family.

But how does one show hospitality if we have not seen it modeled, do not have a lot of resources, or it is not part of our innate personality? Ah, I cannot wait to share more with you of the examples I have seen, the benefits I have received, and the amazing, ordinary people who have helped me cultivate this quality in my life.

Ashlie Miller and her husband, a pastor in SouthEnd Charlotte, seek to cultivate hospitality in their home in Concord, NC. You may contact her at ashliemiller.com .

By Ashlie Miller

Beautiful routines have been developing in my home with my best friend. We occasionally meet on the front porch together, often with our books in hand, to read separately or to observe the environment. We may or may not interrupt each other with conversation, but mostly, we end up in the same place, sharing space and presence.

Towards the end of 2020, my husband and I looked for ways to spend time together since we could not get away from home for many dates. We developed a new weekly routine of late-night tea time. Sure, we enjoy the little treats we would not usually indulge in, and tea is quite comforting. Still, more than that, it is simply having that uninterrupted time together. Sometimes the time includes reflections on the day, but the goal is to focus on each other, not even the tea.

Lately, now that we have teenagers who can manage, we sneak away once a week in the early mornings for coffee (for him) and tea (for me). These usually have an intentional purpose of looking at our calendar for the week, looking for ways to be productive, and talking about matters of importance.

These frequent, regular meetings did not occur with the expressed purpose of strengthening our relationship. They naturally happened because we enjoy each other’s company and can’t get enough of each other. There are times we seek each other for company and different times of intentional scheduling. Our focus is not on the words we will share; it is on shared time and communion, enjoying each other’s presence, and growing closer together. Making time for each other grows organically because we genuinely enjoy time together.

In the book “A Praying Life,” Paul Miller (no relation) compares our prayer life to a family meal – time together, no rush, enjoying each other’s company with laughter and discussions. We often approach our prayer time, if we even have one, as a duty, a daily checklist, or a Christian discipline. But, as Miller points out by sharing Revelation 3:20, God wants something more wonderful for us than that: “If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.” Yes, he wants a relationship, but the God of Heaven also wants to feast with us! He is not waiting for us to approach with a perfect prayer framework, although those can be helpful. He simply sets the table and opens the door for us to spend time with Him.

Prayer is one of the most neglected works of the Christian, maybe because we look at it as work. In modern, hurried times where eating a meal is just a duty and necessity, we do not know what it is like to feast with a friend, slowing down, relishing the moment and the company.

All great, big things begin with a small step. What would happen if you took a small step to slow down, lean in, and find a small moment to talk to the King and Creator today? It may start with spending time with a close, earthly friend and tasting what that type of relationship is like. As I said, beautiful routines have taken shape in my home with my best friend, actually, two of them – my husband and my Lord!

Ashlie Miller and her husband, Chad, live in Concord, NC. You can contact her on ashliemiller.com.

By Ashlie Miller

Together. It is such a lovely thought of a word. It has connotations of joyful union and shared closeness. The opposite of that – separation – conjures up thoughts of loneliness, fear, division, and sadness.

The baby of our family expressed such sadness recently. Maybe it is because he has only known “together” for all of his five years of life. There is always someone with him. Even when playing alone, Mom is just around the corner, likely making a sandwich or cooking dinner. He embodies joy, optimism, and much love he is willing to share physically with a giant, plow-into-you bear hug. He is also quite empathetic. He is a sharer of joy and sorrow when he notices others are sad.

This month, we gathered as a family to remember my mother, my children’s Nana, who passed away two years ago. We ate one of her favorite desserts – German chocolate cake – and shared stories and thoughts while looking through old family photos. The family’s youngest members mostly ran around laughing and playing, just as Nana would have wanted. I am sure they caught glimpses of her while the old VHS tapes played on the television downstairs. Still, otherwise, they were a little less connected to the reminiscing. 

A few evenings later, as I tucked our little fellow into bed, I could see a look of distress on his face as he squeezed his most cherished lovey, whom he calls Puppy Love, in his arms. I leaned over and asked what was wrong. He closed his eyes tightly and said, “I hope Puppy Love never leaves me.”

It took my breath away. We all love Puppy Love; he has been with us since the oldest brother (now 17) was a baby. I tried to rationally but empathetically identify with his fear and hurt. It was not the time to tell him that inanimate objects cannot will to leave on their own. Nor was it the time to teach responsibility of not carelessly losing beloved items. His reality was knowing that things (or people) you love dearly could disappear someday. I gave him AND Puppy Love a big hug. Then, I told him he takes such good care of his lovey that Puppy Love would never want to leave him. 

It would be sad if this lovey left us because there is no real hope of reuniting. Separation is a scary and painful thing to ponder. 

Grieving my mother, his Nana, is very different, though. While separation hurts deeply, it is temporary. We WILL be reunited. Some days, that thought is not enough to hold back the wall of tears that trickle or burst unexpectedly. Our souls long for “together” and cannot deal with separation well because we were never meant to be permanently parted: 

“And the dead in Christ will rise first.Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words.” 

(1 Thessalonians 4:16-18)

Our souls long for “together” because our Lord knows our future immortality. The Christian can grieve with Hope (which is a Person, Jesus Christ) because we can rest assured of our eternal togetherness if we know this Hope. Never to be left again. Never to be separated. Better yet, we will share this togetherness with the Lord. What completeness and wholeness. What true togetherness! 

Ashlie Miller grieves with Hope along with her family in Concord. You may contact her at ashliemiller.com.

By Ashlie Miller

Armed with the most adorable puppy-themed green Trapper Keeper, a zipper pouch of brand new pencils and crayons, I marched into the 2nd grade of my new school. Though shy, I always looked forward to the first day of elementary school. Mrs. Deal met me at the door with a smile and the look of someone well-acquainted with children.

We each have a favorite teacher or grade, like Mrs. Deal and the 2nd grade. To this day, I can recall songs she taught us, though I can barely make out most words in many worship songs on the radio today. I can remember Bible verses we worked through, though now, I cannot give you more than three digits from the phone numbers of my dearest contacts.

She made completing schoolwork a joy, rewarding those who finished well and early enough with time at a quiet table enjoying puzzles or games. I still employ that tactic with myself on mundane housework. “After this load of laundry, I’ll read one more chapter from my book while sitting on the porch.”

Likewise, character development had rewards with a merit system for multiple categories, sometimes resulting in a small cup of ice cream with a tiny wooden spoon as a sweet reward. Today, the benefits of pursuing godly character are sweet and long-lasting.

Mrs. Deal planted the first seeds of international missions into my 2nd-grade heart. Stories about Amy Carmichael thrilled my soul and made me wonder about others worldwide. I have since served on missions teams at local churches, supported friends on long-term and short-term missions, and read many biographies to my children, including the one about Amy Carmichael.

I know she is a Christian and well acquainted with Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” I wonder how many students she has had through the years who can attest to that truth and her part in their lives?

Caregivers who send their children off to school, if you have done the work of finding a good teacher, as you entrust them, pray for them regularly. Thank them often and tell them when and how their influence translates at home. Parents who teach from home, the children are soaking up so much that you are well-equipped to teach them. Enjoy the gift and pray through the hard seasons, trusting a good harvest in the years ahead.

Teachers in traditional school buildings, you may only sometimes get to see the long-view results, but your work matters and is shaping each child. A child’s one year with you may instill something unique that stays with him for a lifetime. Though not immediately, when looking back, they will one day see the many hands God has used to shape them, and I pray they one day give you a delayed, but well-earned thank you.

Thank you, Mrs. Deal!

Ashlie Miller is a homeschool teacher of 5, often using the tools she learned from Mrs. Deal in 2nd grade. You may reach her at ashliemiller.com.