Ashlie Miller

By Ashlie Miller

“Goodbye, Bathtub and Living Room. America’s homes are shrinking.” I read these words myself days after my husband mentioned cities like Charlotte are building new, more affordable homes by cutting rooms like dining rooms and living rooms.

It is a trend we have seen over time. Formal dining rooms have been unused for decades. There used to be formal sitting parlors (or at least I have read about them in old literature) for entertaining guests.

While this trend may reflect the economy and lack of space, particularly in the ever-growing region where we live, I hope we do not see a reduction in the purpose these rooms have served over the years.

Hospitality. That is the word that comes to mind when I think of these rooms. Unfortunately, over time, we have seen families spend more time outside the home to spend time socializing rather than hosting within the home to cultivate relationships with others.

In the book of Titus in the Bible, Paul writes to his young friend in ministry first to be on guard of false teachers. In contrasting the church leaders with these false teachers, Paul lists what they should not be like as well as how these leaders should behave. What are these evidences of their faith in Christ? First on the list – to be hospitable. Merriam-Webster defines the word as “given to generous and cordial reception of guests.” In Christian terms, it means loving the stranger, entertaining them, particularly fellow Christians, and sharing the gospel as they pass through.

It is interesting to note that this is first on the list of how elders should behave. The list does not begin with what the world may consider success, which usually is a material, worldly measurement. Hospitality is within the grasp of any person, but especially for the Christian called to love others as himself (found in the Great Commandment in Matthew 22:37-39). Sadly, too many visitors to the church or those with whom we regularly come into contact could say this is a characteristic lacking within both the home and church and, sadly, even in church leadership. While Christian leaders may seem well-qualified in certain areas of success and achievement, our lack of hospitality is blinding. Others cannot see our message due to our lack of generosity and “cordial reception.” How often have we witnessed guests who seemingly enjoy a service or even fellowship only to leave because of a lack of hospitality, genuine kindness, and concern for their well-being?

If the shrinking size of homes is any indicator, we have become more obsessed with entertaining ourselves and being consumers in pursuit of autonomy. Independent. Not needing others to bring fulfillment to our daily routine, nor to encourage them on their journey.

Though our house size may be shrinking, I pray we will further open our homes to entertaining strangers who may one day become friends and family.

But how does one show hospitality if we have not seen it modeled, do not have a lot of resources, or it is not part of our innate personality? Ah, I cannot wait to share more with you of the examples I have seen, the benefits I have received, and the amazing, ordinary people who have helped me cultivate this quality in my life.

Ashlie Miller and her husband, a pastor in SouthEnd Charlotte, seek to cultivate hospitality in their home in Concord, NC. You may contact her at ashliemiller.com .

By Ashlie Miller

Beautiful routines have been developing in my home with my best friend. We occasionally meet on the front porch together, often with our books in hand, to read separately or to observe the environment. We may or may not interrupt each other with conversation, but mostly, we end up in the same place, sharing space and presence.

Towards the end of 2020, my husband and I looked for ways to spend time together since we could not get away from home for many dates. We developed a new weekly routine of late-night tea time. Sure, we enjoy the little treats we would not usually indulge in, and tea is quite comforting. Still, more than that, it is simply having that uninterrupted time together. Sometimes the time includes reflections on the day, but the goal is to focus on each other, not even the tea.

Lately, now that we have teenagers who can manage, we sneak away once a week in the early mornings for coffee (for him) and tea (for me). These usually have an intentional purpose of looking at our calendar for the week, looking for ways to be productive, and talking about matters of importance.

These frequent, regular meetings did not occur with the expressed purpose of strengthening our relationship. They naturally happened because we enjoy each other’s company and can’t get enough of each other. There are times we seek each other for company and different times of intentional scheduling. Our focus is not on the words we will share; it is on shared time and communion, enjoying each other’s presence, and growing closer together. Making time for each other grows organically because we genuinely enjoy time together.

In the book “A Praying Life,” Paul Miller (no relation) compares our prayer life to a family meal – time together, no rush, enjoying each other’s company with laughter and discussions. We often approach our prayer time, if we even have one, as a duty, a daily checklist, or a Christian discipline. But, as Miller points out by sharing Revelation 3:20, God wants something more wonderful for us than that: “If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.” Yes, he wants a relationship, but the God of Heaven also wants to feast with us! He is not waiting for us to approach with a perfect prayer framework, although those can be helpful. He simply sets the table and opens the door for us to spend time with Him.

Prayer is one of the most neglected works of the Christian, maybe because we look at it as work. In modern, hurried times where eating a meal is just a duty and necessity, we do not know what it is like to feast with a friend, slowing down, relishing the moment and the company.

All great, big things begin with a small step. What would happen if you took a small step to slow down, lean in, and find a small moment to talk to the King and Creator today? It may start with spending time with a close, earthly friend and tasting what that type of relationship is like. As I said, beautiful routines have taken shape in my home with my best friend, actually, two of them – my husband and my Lord!

Ashlie Miller and her husband, Chad, live in Concord, NC. You can contact her on ashliemiller.com.

By Ashlie Miller

Together. It is such a lovely thought of a word. It has connotations of joyful union and shared closeness. The opposite of that – separation – conjures up thoughts of loneliness, fear, division, and sadness.

The baby of our family expressed such sadness recently. Maybe it is because he has only known “together” for all of his five years of life. There is always someone with him. Even when playing alone, Mom is just around the corner, likely making a sandwich or cooking dinner. He embodies joy, optimism, and much love he is willing to share physically with a giant, plow-into-you bear hug. He is also quite empathetic. He is a sharer of joy and sorrow when he notices others are sad.

This month, we gathered as a family to remember my mother, my children’s Nana, who passed away two years ago. We ate one of her favorite desserts – German chocolate cake – and shared stories and thoughts while looking through old family photos. The family’s youngest members mostly ran around laughing and playing, just as Nana would have wanted. I am sure they caught glimpses of her while the old VHS tapes played on the television downstairs. Still, otherwise, they were a little less connected to the reminiscing. 

A few evenings later, as I tucked our little fellow into bed, I could see a look of distress on his face as he squeezed his most cherished lovey, whom he calls Puppy Love, in his arms. I leaned over and asked what was wrong. He closed his eyes tightly and said, “I hope Puppy Love never leaves me.”

It took my breath away. We all love Puppy Love; he has been with us since the oldest brother (now 17) was a baby. I tried to rationally but empathetically identify with his fear and hurt. It was not the time to tell him that inanimate objects cannot will to leave on their own. Nor was it the time to teach responsibility of not carelessly losing beloved items. His reality was knowing that things (or people) you love dearly could disappear someday. I gave him AND Puppy Love a big hug. Then, I told him he takes such good care of his lovey that Puppy Love would never want to leave him. 

It would be sad if this lovey left us because there is no real hope of reuniting. Separation is a scary and painful thing to ponder. 

Grieving my mother, his Nana, is very different, though. While separation hurts deeply, it is temporary. We WILL be reunited. Some days, that thought is not enough to hold back the wall of tears that trickle or burst unexpectedly. Our souls long for “together” and cannot deal with separation well because we were never meant to be permanently parted: 

“And the dead in Christ will rise first.Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words.” 

(1 Thessalonians 4:16-18)

Our souls long for “together” because our Lord knows our future immortality. The Christian can grieve with Hope (which is a Person, Jesus Christ) because we can rest assured of our eternal togetherness if we know this Hope. Never to be left again. Never to be separated. Better yet, we will share this togetherness with the Lord. What completeness and wholeness. What true togetherness! 

Ashlie Miller grieves with Hope along with her family in Concord. You may contact her at ashliemiller.com.

By Ashlie Miller

Armed with the most adorable puppy-themed green Trapper Keeper, a zipper pouch of brand new pencils and crayons, I marched into the 2nd grade of my new school. Though shy, I always looked forward to the first day of elementary school. Mrs. Deal met me at the door with a smile and the look of someone well-acquainted with children.

We each have a favorite teacher or grade, like Mrs. Deal and the 2nd grade. To this day, I can recall songs she taught us, though I can barely make out most words in many worship songs on the radio today. I can remember Bible verses we worked through, though now, I cannot give you more than three digits from the phone numbers of my dearest contacts.

She made completing schoolwork a joy, rewarding those who finished well and early enough with time at a quiet table enjoying puzzles or games. I still employ that tactic with myself on mundane housework. “After this load of laundry, I’ll read one more chapter from my book while sitting on the porch.”

Likewise, character development had rewards with a merit system for multiple categories, sometimes resulting in a small cup of ice cream with a tiny wooden spoon as a sweet reward. Today, the benefits of pursuing godly character are sweet and long-lasting.

Mrs. Deal planted the first seeds of international missions into my 2nd-grade heart. Stories about Amy Carmichael thrilled my soul and made me wonder about others worldwide. I have since served on missions teams at local churches, supported friends on long-term and short-term missions, and read many biographies to my children, including the one about Amy Carmichael.

I know she is a Christian and well acquainted with Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” I wonder how many students she has had through the years who can attest to that truth and her part in their lives?

Caregivers who send their children off to school, if you have done the work of finding a good teacher, as you entrust them, pray for them regularly. Thank them often and tell them when and how their influence translates at home. Parents who teach from home, the children are soaking up so much that you are well-equipped to teach them. Enjoy the gift and pray through the hard seasons, trusting a good harvest in the years ahead.

Teachers in traditional school buildings, you may only sometimes get to see the long-view results, but your work matters and is shaping each child. A child’s one year with you may instill something unique that stays with him for a lifetime. Though not immediately, when looking back, they will one day see the many hands God has used to shape them, and I pray they one day give you a delayed, but well-earned thank you.

Thank you, Mrs. Deal!

Ashlie Miller is a homeschool teacher of 5, often using the tools she learned from Mrs. Deal in 2nd grade. You may reach her at ashliemiller.com.

By Ashlie Miller

As mentioned before, I love beach combing. Maybe you do, too. My treasures often vary depending on the beach we visit. Sea glass finds me at North Topsail. Holden Beach recently delighted me with my largest shark’s tooth find. When you know where and what to look for, landing upon a discovery brings immense satisfaction!

I especially like learning about what lies beneath my feet from other beachcombers, some of who are legendary – up at 4am, often after a storm, scouring the shores while the rest of us slumber. This year my two teen sons astounded us all – not by their finds but rather by the fact that they willingly woke up at 5am to scour the beaches and watch the sunrise. One morning, they met a legendary beachcomber and learned about something new to us all – pirate glass. Sea glass is familiar, but what was this “pirate glass”? My sons learned that in Blackbeard’s day, the infamous pirate’s rum bottles would be disposed of in the sea. Time has broken them into shards and smoothed them into rocks with evidence of air bubbles once caught in the glass-making. Not all pirate glass is from that time, but don’t tell my boys.

Armed with this new knowledge, we temporarily changed our hunting strategy. It invigorated our search. It is incredible how new revelation can change the value of what may have been overlooked before you and stimulate your appetite to find it.

What a metaphor for life, and we can also see parallels in Scripture. The disciples were so notorious for not “seeing” what was true in front of them that Jesus had to physically heal a blinded man as an object lesson of how the disciples needed to have the eyes of their hearts opened (Mark 8). We read of a Divine encounter two disciples had on the road to Emmaus (Luke 24). They thought they understood the events, but it took Jesus to remove the veil from their hearts. Likewise, Paul, writing primarily to Gentile Christians in Ephesus, prays that their hearts would be enlightened to know the hope they were called to (Ephesians 1:18).

Many boast today of having open minds and arms, but too often, the eyes of our hearts are closed. What might we be closing our eyes to?

Before going about your day, consider praying Psalm 119:18-19

“Open my eyes, that I may behold

wondrous things out of your law.

I am a sojourner on the earth;

hide not your commandments from me.”

Happy treasure hunting!

Ashlie Miller loves hunting for treasures of various value with her family of 7 in Concord, NC (and beyond!). You may contact her at ashliemiller.com

By Ashlie Miller

Do you have a unique, odd, or profoundly personal family tradition? It seems strange to consider family traditions when resting in the heat of summer, taking a break from the usual routine. Or you may be smack in the middle of an annual summer vacation tradition. In either case, you may have noticed the resurgence of a winter holiday in the hottest part of our year – Christmas in July.

What is with that? Is it a made-up moment for the Hallmark Keepsake collector awaiting the release of an ornament in July? Has Hobby Lobby conspired in July to bombard the market with swags of artificial pine, glistening decorations, or the too-early scent of cinnamon emanating from candles? Is it a new marketing ploy to get money from your pocketbook in a summer sales slump? 

I want to offer another possibility. Five summers ago, I recognized we were in the midst of what my husband called a “fertilizer year.” You may have a less-than-polite term for that type of year. Due to personal trials in and outside the family dynamic and a recent terminal physical diagnosis of a loved one, we all felt a bit hopeless. It is easy for cynicism to creep in during those seasons. Usually, gratitude would be the antidote for such sadness. Still, at that moment, it was difficult to “give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). I realized we needed a balm to heal our despair. For that season, our cynicism required an encounter with wonder. We needed medicine for our spirit (“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” – Proverbs 17:22). Where would we find that in the middle of July?

Operation: Christmas in July began that year. I did not intend for it to become a tradition. We backed into it. We did summer versions of winter fun – a melted snowman cookie instead of a gingerbread house; swimming instead of ice skating; ice cream cones instead of snow cream; watching Christmas movies; even drawing names to shop at the thrift store for a surprise gift. What memories we made that year! We still had much to face. The year was not over, and more heartaches lay ahead, but we momentarily took the sting out of a painful season.

But why? Why did eating, playing, and watching television – things we would likely do in some form anyway – fill us with hope and wonder? It was more than a mere distraction. It is because the wonder and anticipation point to something even more extraordinary. It is akin to the Advent season of winter – the waiting for the Promise. It is a shadow cast by another promise that awaits the Christian believer. 

Even those not of the Christian faith have a sense of this built into their hearts and minds – a desire for hope. A longing for something to right the wrongs, to bring closure to struggle, or to give us a reason for continuing. 

How fitting that Christmas in July came for us at the midpoint of a brutal year. How fitting that during a severe heatwave covered in smothering haze, we can stop briefly to remind ourselves that this is not the end; something lovely is ahead. We are closer to it than we were a month ago. In our struggles, we can come up for air, look at the temporary reality of our situation, and realize we will make it through somehow. There is more ahead than our present earthly, temporary reality. Now that is worth celebrating!

Ashlie Miller accidentally begins many traditions in her family of seven in Concord, NC. She can be contacted at ashliemiller.com.

By Ashlie Miller

Instead of the isolation of a she-shack, I prefer porch life. On my porch, in the early mornings, I hear the birds utter their call with a steady stream of “tch-tch-tch-tch” in the background as the sprinkler waters the lawn. Neighbors pass by walking their dogs or just getting in some steps before it is too humid. My observations are pleasantly interrupted by a darting hummingbird visiting the feeder. Although alone, clearly, there are visitors. My favorite visitor is the One I meet with early – Bible open, pen ready to make notes. 

Occasionally, my porch may have other visitors, someone dropping off something or picking up someone, another to pray with me or even for me. Other times, it may be a noisy afternoon of watching my children playing gel-blasters, blowing bubbles, drawing hopscotch, riding bikes in the cul-de-sac, or cooling off in the sprinkler. 

In the evenings, what may begin with my husband and me reflecting on the day broadens to a family experience. The night may include a board game, a round of cards, hunts for lightning bugs, or lazy conversations. 

It is a place of solitude, reflection, refreshment, and visiting with others. Often, wisdom meets me there. There is something sacred about the porch, and I am in good company when I see its value.

Israel’s King Solomon built an impressive porch among his other architectural achievements. It was such an essential place in Solomon’s day that even Herod constructed a similar structure and called it Solomon’s Portico.

Solomon’s porch was a solid structure supported by columns and was the entry to the temple. My porch is the first place of welcome into my home and is supported by columns. I hope others feel strongly supported and welcome into my life and home as they seek counsel, friendship, or accountability.

The king’s porch had a roof and could be enclosed on the sides. Likewise, mine is covered with a roof, providing shade from the sun and shelter from the rain. A porch can be a place to share your heart, concerns, and dreams with a friend in privacy but look with hope as we look upward and outward. 

I imagine Solomon walking his porch for Divine inspiration. Romans 1:20 speaks of how God’s divine attributes can be clearly seen by looking at creation. A porch is a great place to reflect on God as you study His Word and observe creation.

Even Jesus and his disciples enjoyed porch life. Christ taught on the porch during the Feast of Dedication (John 10:22-23). Likewise, the apostles preached (Acts 5:12) and healed in Jesus’ name while on the porch (Acts 3:11).

Your house may not have a porch. Still, the porch can be a symbol of something we can all have access to – making space in your heart and life to welcome others, provide loving support, a shelter from the outside world accompanied with hope, a place for inspiration, learning and teaching, and meeting someone in their deepest need. How can you cultivate “porch life” in your home and heart today?

Ashlie Miller makes room for friends on her porch in Concord. You may contact her at ashliemiller.com.

By Ashlie Miller

Like me, I am sure many of you with a lawn have been looking for the coolest part of the day to do as much yard work as possible. Usually, that is early morning or later in the evening. One morning last week, as I pulled a few weeds, I noticed many ants coming up with the roots. Oh, those pesky things! But, I would be wise to slow down and take note.

Even if you are not familiar with the Bible verse Proverbs 6:6-8, you may know the fable or even the older cartoon about the wise ant who prepares in the summer to gather her resources and sustenance needed for the winter. In the fable and animated version, she is compared with the lazy grasshopper, left hopeless and alone when the hard times come his way.

In case we missed the lesson from the ant, Proverbs 10:6 is more direct – “He who gathers in the summer is a prudent son, but he who sleeps in harvest is a son who brings shame.” The choice to work hard does not just provide a reward but also keeps us from disgracing those in our environment.

As summer continues, we will see examples of creatures gathering and storing – squirrels, chipmunks, mice, beavers, and many birds preparing for their future. Indeed, it benefits their immediate community; after all, one can observe the hierarchy in ant colonies and bee hives to see how each serves a distinct role. Their unity and dedication to their work also serve the greater ecosystem. The top of the food chain benefits from the perseverance of the humblest creatures.

Though it is pleasant to observe animals working in their systems, often we view our work as a curse, not a blessing. “Ugh, it’s Monday again!” We view diligence and persistence as great character traits and qualities but not the gifts they are from our Creator to provide for ourselves and those who depend upon us. As a generation conditioned to value autonomy and individuality above community, we also often miss the impact of our diligence upon those around us, unlike ants and honeybees, who each know their role.

Like summer, my season on this spinning sphere is also too short. I have a job to do. How will I approach the beauty of my work? Do I value my work as a gift to others, not just a way to fulfill myself? Can I step back and see how my diligence impacts my immediate dependents and the community?

Get up early this week, and spend some time in personal reflection as you see the loveliness of work among creation.

Ashlie Miller occasionally observes ants when she is not busy chasing 5 children along with her husband in Concord, NC. You may contact her at ashliemiller.com.

By Ashlie Miller

As is true for many North Carolinians, our family’s official summer vacation kicked off with a recent trip to the coast. For many of us, it is a place to relax, clear our heads or pray as we meander through sea foam, pebbles, shells, sharks’ teeth and sea glass. Maybe it is because we can finally pause and, on a tiny scale, see the vastness of our Creator that this vacation spot holds a special place for many of us. I can imagine the hundreds of thousands of pieces of sand I have scooped in my hand while forming a drip castle. How many more millions and billions of pieces have I walked upon? How many more are hidden under the shores?

As I build sandcastles with my children, I am reminded of Psalm 139:17-18, which became a favorite passage from the Bible many years ago:

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!

If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.

How astounding — the God of all Creation has an abundance of thoughts for me! Not just a few, lumped into a pile of common thoughts for humanity, though that is important, too. He has unique ideas for me, Ashlie Miller. After our trip, one of my sons mentioned an online article he found showing macro lens photos of grains of sand. The miniature pieces of geometric art, each piece varying from the next, amazed him! How much more so, the idea that God has a vast array of thoughts, plans and love for us. He is much more than the God of deism, far removed from regularly intervening and being involved in the small nuances of our lives.

This verse from Psalms ends with the idea that if we fell asleep counting all of His thoughts for us, we would wake up still counting them. What love He has for you and me! What love I long to have for One who would love me like that! My love will never match His magnitude or scope for me, but I want to live my life showing Him how much I love Him.

I hope you have a lovely summer and venture to one of our beautiful North Carolina beaches. Be prepared to be overwhelmed by God’s goodness and share it with others. I cannot wait to share more thoughts from my coastal meanderings over the coming months.

Ashlie Miller might be spotted beach combing along the North Carolina coasts this summer when she is not home with her family of 7 in Concord.

By Ashlie Miller

Like a modern, online edition of the white pages, it is easy to learn someone’s family surname or maiden name, thanks to Facebook. You may find many family tree members through just a few clicks on sites like ancestry.com. Last names and family trees have always fascinated me – from where they are derived and their prominence in certain countries, states, and regions.

The family who welcomed me after my father died and my mother remarried was the Lawrence family. Most of my life, I recall seeing a framed, cross-stitched piece that said, “A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches… (Proverbs 22:1)” in my Grandparents’ home.

I have witnessed this truth within this family, well-known for embracing as family those who were not family by blood – foster children, adopted children, step-grandchildren, and close friends. If you speak this name in the towns nearby, you are met with a positive response. Every time. It is not a family of extravagant means, but there is extravagant love. There is integrity in this name, good character, and godly wisdom. 

But not all of us were blessed with “good names” in our family of origin. There may be generations of hurt, betrayal, and even hate that our family name connotes. Shame at mentioning the last name. Maybe an association with an infamous family name raises an eyebrow at the checkout line. You may avoid using that name when placing an order.

It could be that you have not rightfully earned the honor that comes with your family name of origin. You may live in shame for bringing disgrace upon those who have loved you well. When others find out to whom you belong, there is a moment of disbelief that you are their child or grandchild. You were brought up better, after all. 

Is there hope? Can we ever lift our heads? Yes! In Revelation 2:17, God speaks of giving to those who overcome (those who have trusted Christ as Savior and have endured) a white stone with a new name written upon it.

When we trade the identity we were born with for a new spiritual identity and are called “Christian,” we receive a name that we do not earn but one that is gifted to us by grace. When our Father looks at us, He sees His child. He bestows us love and blessing that we could not merit alone. We want to live in a way that reflects that name and brings honor. Sometimes, we may stumble and cause others to wonder in disbelief that we belong to Him, but He loves us and can transform us. 

Have you thought about not only who you are but whose you are? How has a “good name” brought you comfort and given you renewed purpose?

Ashlie Miller and her family of 7 of live in Concord, NC. You can share with her about your family story by contacting her on ashliemiller.com.